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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Not yet divorced husband announces he is marrying again...

48 replies

ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 20:55

WTF? Wouldn't it have a bit more class to wait until the divorce is actually through? Don't know why I am suprised...this is the specimen who I discovered was OD when we were 'happyishly' married, who said he signed up for it because DD and I wouldn't go owl-watching with him one night... Guess I am a bit suprised I am suprised IUSWIM. I don't want his sorry arse back. But I am stunned to think it is almost as if he WANTS me to hate him. This all messes with DD (15) head, and I am terrified she will be put off relationships for life. I hate him, and am still bewildered that he has so little respect for DD and I. How do I stop feeling so angry?

OP posts:

Report

Anniegetyourgun · 05/02/2013 20:58

Pity her!

Well, given that he was looking for other women even while you were supposed to be together, it's hardly surprising he didn't hang around once you officially split. This is not a man who wants to wash his own socks.

HecateWhoopass · 05/02/2013 20:59

Someone on here once said that the opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference.

I don't remember who it was and i don't know if that was their own creation or if they got it from somewhere else, but it's true.

You need to and hopefully one day will get to the point where you honestly don't give a shit if he gets married every month.

This is still raw and painful. It's ok to be angry.

If it was me though, I'd put on my couldn't give a shit face to him. Congratulate him. Buy them a toaster.

How is he being with your daughter? Best you can do there is reassure her how much she is loved. And be there for her and listen to her.

foolonthehill · 05/02/2013 21:00

he was selfish and entitled, he is selfish and entitled and he will be selfish and entitled. This leopard isn't changing his spots

I think angry is ok...just let it fuel you to bigger and better things rather than self destruction. Unfortunately he has given DD a lesson in life that she could well have done without, all you can do is love and support her through the traumas.

ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 21:01

I know Annie...it just makes me angry, he's already living with her, so presumably she's already doing that! I just he could have waited... proper order of things! Although he hasn't been too worried about that before...

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ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 21:03

Cross-post. Thanks peeps. He sees DD regularly, but still kinda messes with her head, with his BS ways. Fortunately she can sniff out BS.

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HecateWhoopass · 05/02/2013 21:04

A good skill to have.

MiconiumHappens · 05/02/2013 21:04

How long have you been separated?

ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 21:07

Just over a year...fool on the plus side, I have lost over a stone apart from the 14 stone of ugly fat that left with him

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ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 21:09

Hec yes, I wish I had acquired that skill earlier. I think hormones switched off my BS detector for a while.

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Piecesofmyheart · 05/02/2013 21:15

It screams of desperation. Made me LOL (Excuse my text spk ) when I heard that Ex was 'engaged'. Especially because despite shagging OW for god knows how long, he has steadfastly refused to move a bloody divorce forwards (I am assuming that the sad cow is unaware of that crucial point)

Just imagine happy couple meeting someone for the first time - 'Oh Is this your wife ? I must say I LOVE that ring' 'awkward silence 'Eerr - no my wife isn't here tonight'

You are well rid

ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 21:18

Pieces yes, that's the bizarre thing. He has held the divorce up for goodness knows how long, so this is something of an about-face.

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MooseBeTimeForCoffee · 05/02/2013 21:20

Well if he wants to get remarried he'd going to have to pull his head out of his arse then isn't he! Soonest rid, soonest mended.

GuffSmuggler · 05/02/2013 21:21

that his excuse for online dating was because you wouldn't go owl watching. That's got to be a first on MN! You are so well rid of this idiot.

OhIWishThereWasABook · 05/02/2013 21:25

Sound of the rebound as it whizzes past your ears.

ParsleyTheLioness · 05/02/2013 21:26

Big long thread(s) about it at the time Guff. Some of my lifesavers at the time are on this very thread . I think I would have preferred it if he had said " I am sick of you, and I want out". Yes, I just want to be divorced now, but I'm waiting for the financials to be sorted.

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Cocolollip · 05/02/2013 21:33

I understand your frustration.. My ex and I parted in November, I'm 4 weeks from giving birth to his child and we were due to marry in April.

He's now 'in love' and living with another woman.. Quick work hey?!

To be fair.. I'm past the caring stage now, I think he's pathetic and I've had a lucky escape!

X

BooBumpDaddyandMe · 05/02/2013 21:45

Owl watching. Think you had a lucky escape there!
Do some fabulous things with DD & guide her through relationships as best you can. :-)

Cailinsalach · 05/02/2013 22:06

Owls? I never knew.

Owls? Really, owls?

Nah. He must have been desparately trying to think of something to shift the blame onto you.

Owls!

foolonthehill · 05/02/2013 22:47

I lurked throughout the owls threads...and have seen you become fully fledged and ready to fly parsley...you are a great example of how to survive and thrive. (Even given the occasional wobbly day)

EnjoyResponsibly · 05/02/2013 22:54

Sorry, what's OD and WTAF has it to do with owl watching?

VBisme · 05/02/2013 22:59

So he's dragged his heels over the divorce and now is announcing his engagement?

Classy!

I got a divorce in 12 weks after 8 years of marriage, so it doesn't need to take that long (if you can agree a split of assets), do you know what's holding it up?

mummytime · 05/02/2013 23:02

OD = online dating
Connection to owl watching, none! Except Parsley's ex blamed her for forcing him into online dating by refusing to go owl watching with him.

I hope I got that right Parsley? I hope you and your DD are doing well.

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fiventhree · 05/02/2013 23:40

Parsley, I remember you! Wasn't he a mummy's boy?

He needs another mummy to look after him.

So crack open the champagne for your lucky escape. It was a foregone conclusion that he would need a replacement sharpish, since he couldn't even go for a walk in the woods alone without feelings of rejection.

MerlotAndMe · 05/02/2013 23:44

I think the cheap toster is a great idea, or maybe a pair of -salad-- tossers

izzyizin · 06/02/2013 02:15

I second Merlot's suggestion of salad tossers as a most fitting wedding present from your good self, Parsley.

Plastic ones from a £ shop in a fetching shade of pea green to match the boat the happy couple will be setting sail in - providing it hasn't sunk before the groom is legally free to wed again.

I trust you'll be ensuring he won't have plenty of money to take on his ego trip?

Flip

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