So angry over the past today.

[RedBushedT]

That's it really. It's a bit out of the blue as I thought I had mostly come to terms with the EA from my marriage (he moved out about a year & a half ago & divorce was completed a month back)

But today, out of nowhere, I'm livid at the crap I took and the fact that his behaviour has intrinsically changed me.

I used to be really confident and outgoing. Although I'm starting to gain in confidence, I'm so meek still. I feel inferior to pretty much everyone. And I HATE that!

I'm not really sure what I'm asking... Or whether I'm just venting..
Probably just hoping someone will say that this will pass too.

I'm not even 100% sure who I'm most furious at:
Him for the headfuckery
Or me for letting him do that to me.
Aargh!

[TippiShagpile]

But this is good! You are turning a corner and being angry is a sign of that.

Roar with rage and use that energy to carry on gaining more confidence and letting go.

[Dryjuice25]

Well done for realising that this anger is still there. You will be angry with yourself( that's the step to taking no nonsense in the future) but esp with him(he is uttery to blame for the EA as it affected you so much and he intended it to have that effect).

You need this anger dealt with before you move on. Some people move on too quickly without reflecting on these issues and end up with a series of unsatisfactory liaisons. You are just getting eompowered by this process. This is the making of you. Smash a plate or two and let it go. Good luck

[TeenyW123]

Yes, use today's crappiness as a yardstick and try very hard not to let yourself feel so crappy again. Onward and upward. Be strong. I agree with Tippee, being (a bit) angry can be cathartic.

Teeny

[cappuccinodays]

redbushed
You are not alone. I am in exactly the same place, divorce finalised last year and did infact meet someone else unsuitable. I am angry too and angry at the crap from the new man, who I have dumped. I had got myself in such a state however i am just now focusing on my ds (which i always have done but so much easier without the crap), career and where i want to go. I am just at the beginning of getting over everything i think. It comes and goes in phases. I feel down out of knowhere, i guess it is all part of the process of moving on? EA is awful.. when i feel down i can almost "hear" the things he said to me. I have never had an apology, i just divorced the b***d and I was even reasonable there.

[CogitoErgoSometimes]

I think 'being livid at the crap' is a delayed reaction but one you should grab with both hands. To protect yourself in future it's important to a) be able to quickly identify 'crap' when you see it again and b) get livid about it immediately rather than giving someone the benefit of the doubt. That way you will grow in confidence. Survive and thrive....

[Dryjuice25]

utterly and even empowered!

[AnyFucker]

Anger is good.

Have you considered doing the Freedom Programme ? You might find it very helpful.

[RedBushedT]

Thank you!
I think I got really cross today as part of me is still making excuses for him. The fact that he totally denies having been even slightly controlling of me during our marriage, is infuriating. But the voice of emotionally battered me says 'he didn't even know what he was doing was wrong'
And then THAT makes me mad at myself.
It's like I'm a little ball of fury at the moment.

I'm terrified of confrontation now, so. A bit like one of the other posters (sorry on phone so can't name) said, I just divorced him.
I don't discuss anything with him now as he just denies everything & blames me..

I'm going to buy myself a new dinner service this weekend. Then smash my wedding china to smithereens

That might help