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Stop smothering me!!! [angryface]

(80 Posts)
Lyceum Sun 03-Feb-13 15:08:47

We've been living together for nearly 2 years and I love him dearly. He treats me really well, would do anything for me, and he is a proper partner in my life.

There's just one thing... he won't leave me alone! I can't seem to have any personal space, he follows me around the house chatting and always wants to come with me when I go anywhere. He says he just likes being with me.

I like being with him too, just not all the time.... I can say I want an early night, so I can go to bed and read, and he suddenly decides he wants an early night too. He's not so keen on them when he's snoring on the sofa of an evening and I tell him to go to bed hmm

I just feel smothered, and it's making me resentful.

Is there a way that I can convey this to him so that he doesn't take it personally? It really isn't personal, I'm like this with everyone, it's nothing to do with him....

I just need to get this out really, so that it stops me from hurting his feelings, I love him sad But this is driving me fucking crazy!

Lyceum Sun 03-Feb-13 22:31:33

Bertie you speak so much sense. I do end up tiptoeing around an issue until it becomes a huge thing that I end up screaming like a fishwife about it.... It's something I've tried really hard NOT to do in this relationship, it's all about the communication. But this one's hard to broach, precisely because I don't want him to think that I have this opinion of him. He'd be horrified.

As much as I hate to admit it, me and his exw are quite similar. We're both bossy and control freaks, and I think he may be trying to claw some control back.

Man, this is hard.

InNeedOfBrandy Sun 03-Feb-13 22:40:57

I went put with a bloke who wouldn't let me read because he wantedy attention instead, I ended up in a refuge...

Nip it in the bud OP hopefully he can recognise what he's doing and makes a conscious effort to stop.

Lyceum Sun 03-Feb-13 22:42:38

Brandy shock

Lyceum: the fact that he wants more 'togetherness' than you do is not in itself a bad thing - but right now, he is getting his own way at the expense of your happiness and comfort. It is not wrong or bad or selfish of you to want some space. Another way to look at it: many couples struggle when one partner wants to have sex a lot more frequently than the other does. For the relationship to survive and be healthy, they have to work out some sort of compromise which acknowledges that both partners' wishes and needs and feelings are equally valid. Right now this isn't happening for you - his needs are being met and yours are not.

nickelbabe Tue 05-Feb-13 21:19:40

you really needto tell him to butt out and let you have your space.

not pa muttering and moving but a straightforward "I love you. but it drives me fucking mental when you are constantly in my face. when I am home in the evening, I want to spend some time winding down. when I say I want to be alone for an hour I am not kidding. I am not asking for sex. I am asking you to give me some fucking time onmy own. you are not a stalker; stop fucking acting like one"

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