Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

what would you do to your husband if he said this ........

(77 Posts)
batmanstinks Sat 02-Feb-13 20:43:56

We were having a conversation last night (after a bottle of wine) about our friends.

We have recently moved and have a new circle of friends so we were assessing them.

One couple is lovely and, out of nowhere, DH said 'X is lovely, I think she might be my ideal woman. If things were different I probably would have married her' shock

I pointed out that this was maybe an inappropriate thing to say and he said 'it's alright, I don't fancy her as much as you'

shock.

I would have been justified in cutting his balls off in the night wouldn't I!

Doha Sat 02-Feb-13 20:46:45

If he was my DH he would be sporting a rather fetching pair of earings right now smile

Chottie Sat 02-Feb-13 20:49:06

I would have been annoyed too! What's wrong with him?

SavoyCabbage Sat 02-Feb-13 20:50:32

Why would he say that! Did he forget who he was talking to? I wouldn't want to see them again a I'd be too embarrassed.

shock
I would have been so hurt.

frustratedworkingmum Sat 02-Feb-13 20:52:42

insensitive twunt, is he TRYING to make things awkward

MrsAlexanderSkarsgard Sat 02-Feb-13 20:53:43

Has he always been an insensitive tit?

batmanstinks Sat 02-Feb-13 20:54:01

I have no idea.

He is useless with women and couldn't have an affair if he tried. He is also a terrible liar. He does have a lot in common with her as she shares an interest of his (which I don't) so I think it was just an extension of 'yes, isn't she nice' and he forgot himself.

I'm a bit hurt though! Not necessarily that he thinks it, but that he didn't have the decency to keep it to himself. sad

Xroads Sat 02-Feb-13 20:55:25

Is he usually an insensitive twat?

If not I'd let it go but keep a wary eye on time spent on their own if he is usually like that I'd make plans to LTB

hth

batmanstinks Sat 02-Feb-13 20:57:16

He's normally very awkward around women (and a little bit terrified).

badtemperedaldbitch Sat 02-Feb-13 20:57:52

Thing is, my dh would say summat like that too, when he'd had a drink. He's not thinking of going anywhere..... Just that he's dead comfortable with me that he COULD say it iyswim

Charliefox Sat 02-Feb-13 20:57:56

I'd be staying in a hotel tonight and seriously rethinking things. I do have extremely high expectations of my OH though and expect to be worshipped and his ideal woman. Not in a high maintenance way but I wouldn't stick around if my OH thought there was someone else out there who was his ideal woman. Otherwise, I'd feel like he was settling for second best in me.

Xroads Sat 02-Feb-13 20:58:16

I suppose you could possibly take it as a compliment, he is honest enough to tell you this, you know he wouldn't ever cheat which is reassuring and even though they have lots in common he still wants you more than her smile

izzyizin Sat 02-Feb-13 20:58:45

Why didn't you point out that 'if things were different' you might have married Johnny Depp (substitute movie star of your choice), or that rather fetching hunk up the road or the one you see on your various travels who looks as if he's well hung a high achiever?

badtemperedaldbitch Sat 02-Feb-13 20:59:22

Ps we have been togethersince 1991 and are still loved up!

batmanstinks Sat 02-Feb-13 20:59:55

I do think he said it out of security more than anything else. He looked a bit bewildered when I minded.

Xroads Sat 02-Feb-13 21:08:04

There you are then smile Awww have a cuddle

GrendelsMum Sat 02-Feb-13 21:12:38

I'd roar with laughter and never let him forget it, I'm afraid. But then my DH said shortly after we met "X is much sexier than you, but I think I'd get bored with her conversation so I've decided to marry you instead."

discrete Sat 02-Feb-13 21:14:10

I wouldn't have minded a bit.

I probably would have teased him a fair bit about it, though.

But then I'm very, very secure in my relationship. I know he adores me.

MrsPnut Sat 02-Feb-13 21:15:47

He sounds like my OH, he makes remarks about getting a Brazilian au pair etc and yet if another woman approached him he'd get scared and run a mile.

I'd be pissed off with him and tell him why but I know that the remarks would have been made through thoughtlessness rather than any real desire to be in a relationship with her.

OneMoreChap Sat 02-Feb-13 21:17:44

batmanstinks

He is useless with women

grin
No he isn't, he convinced you...

MarilynValentine Sat 02-Feb-13 21:38:16

I think that's insensitive to the point of cruelty. You should be his ideal woman, the love of his life.

It was shit of him to say it. Where's his loyalty?!

Sorry.

BerylStreep Sat 02-Feb-13 21:47:08

You were assessing your friends?

IMO that's more shock.

Ugh, that would really upset me. Men can be so stunningly insensitive. I remember an ex saying "if you looked like [horrible girl I hated, who had big tits] I'd marry you" - twat!

And recently, my dp said that he would climb over my head to get to [random pretty actress] - he meant no harm by it and couldn't understand why it hurt my feelings, but I bet if I said it to him about an actor I liked he'd suddenly get it!

Is he in the doghouse?

ThePinkOcelot Sat 02-Feb-13 21:56:25

Wow! I would have went beserk!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now