My daughter, 11, has been friends with the same girl since birth. We live somewhere fairly remote and they have always seen each other, stayed over, been close. We moved a short distance so they were not in the same school from about age 7 but still saw each other once a month or so. Her friend is nearly a year older and an only child of older parents.
When they are at the friend's house, Mum plays with them (builds dens, is the witch in their games, takes them out) but when here they just get on with their own thing and I do food, check they are OK. So we have different parenting styles. I also have a 13 year old son who is easy going and doesn't bother the girls.
The daughter has started to make unreasonable demands on my daughter. ie, only talk to each other, no other people allowed. Her Mum rang to ask if my son could be away when she comes here (he really is a quiet boy and is mostly in his room - so odd). The daughter wants to bath with mine, sucks her thumb, talks baby talk and, last night, got into bed with my daughter in the middle of the night because she "was cold and lonely". The Mum rang and reorganised room arrangements when they were away at a camp type thing. The Mum also phoned on my DD's birthday to invite my daughter over for the day (WTF?)
They will be at the same secondary next year (very small school where I teach). I have already arranged for them to be in separate classes but know the Mum will try to unpick this, will try to push them together.
Basically, her daughter has no one and my daughter has lots of friends and so wants to be part of a big group, not just with one friend. The friend is very, very immature and my daughter is being expected to "care" for her. I have a lot of sympathy but don't want my daughter disadvantaged by this.
What to do? I could try talking to the Mum but she is really the root of the problem. How do I ensure that my daughter can make lots of friends next year without this girl being left alone?
Help!
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Relationships
My daughter's "best" friend and how to support DD as she tries to pull away from her.
Roseformeplease · 02/02/2013 19:18
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