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Married 6 months. Divorce possible?

(11 Posts)
Beaverfeaver Sat 02-Feb-13 07:48:10

I'm in tears for the second time this holiday after H drunken too much.

We have been together for over 10 years but only married 6 months.

His drinking has got worse recently and am finding it harder to cope with, and I think I would be better off alone now.

I was just looking into divorce details but the gov website says we have to be married a year before divorce can start.

Is there any other way?

lightrain Sat 02-Feb-13 07:52:18

Sorry that you're not happy.

I'm not a legal person but I do know that you have to wait 1 year before you can divorce. However, the process takes quite a while anyway, so if you have made up your mind to leave him, then there's nothing to stop you separating now. Divorce will only make the separation official. By the time you've sorted out a new place to live, etc. a year will be up and you can start divorce proceedings.

CabbageLeaves Sat 02-Feb-13 07:59:17

Legal divorce is sometimes harder than the actual separation process, organising who goes where so I agree you may as well consider that if you are serious.

However you married him 6 months ago. You had 10 ? Happy years prior to this so maybe it's salvageable?

I say that with a really serious comment of only a drinker can change the self. You can only change how you react. Living with = accepting. Whilst you stay you accept it in his eyes. Leave or separate and you may give him the motivation he needs to change

babybarrister Sat 02-Feb-13 08:02:24

As a matter of law you have to wait a year - does not mean that you cannot see a solicitor now tho to put things into progress as you will need to sort out finances anyway ... Look at the resolution website for listings of specialist family lawyers smile good luck

KatherineKrupnik Sat 02-Feb-13 08:04:49

My friends divorce came through on their first wedding anniversary, so you can start the process now.

Beaverfeaver Sat 02-Feb-13 08:10:46

Thanks for all the replies.

10 years were pretty good. He started drinking not long before wedding and when asked about it he would put it down to nerves.

Wedding been and gone and drinking only got worse.

These 6 months have been awful and he thinks im completely out of my mind for being so affected by it.

I wanted to go straight for divorce as I want to keep my house and preferably for him to move out.

But he doesn't want to separate, so thought I would have to do it legally.

Is there any other way or will I have to face the facts and move out?

I've not told any friends or family. Everyone thinks everything is fine.

People will be shocked and want an explanation, but I relly don't want to talk about it

CabbageLeaves Sat 02-Feb-13 08:20:05

See a solicitor for advice

Telling people: you have nothing to be embarrassed about. Be honest and limit what you say to what you are comfortable with. How about 'I'm really sad, not what I expected but there is a serious problem and I've chosen to separate'

CabbageLeaves Sat 02-Feb-13 08:20:44

Or just 'he's become an alcoholic and I want to protect my kids'. Valid....

Beaverfeaver Sat 02-Feb-13 08:24:38

How do divorcees afford to move out and live on their own?

I work full time, but even the smallest of places to rent are upwards of £750 per month for a tiny flat and that's before bills!

GeordieCherry Sat 02-Feb-13 08:27:20

Try Al-Anon for some support for you about his drinking

Doesn't matter whether you choose to separate or stay together, they can still help

Good luck!

izzyizin Sat 02-Feb-13 08:59:29

You've referred to wanting to keep your house. Is this rented or do you own it (mortgage). Is it in your sole name or his, or held in joint names? Do you have dc?

As you know, you can't divorce until you've been married for one year but you could give consideration to petitioning for Judicial Separation. However, as the current cost is £340 via FormD8 online at www.gov.uk (and considerably more if you instruct a solicitor),you may wish to save your pennies for your first anniversay when you will be free to institute divorce proceedings.

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