Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

So DH said...

(964 Posts)

He knew I wouldn't want to hear it, but he really regrets getting me pregnant. I am 14 weeks pregnant with our first child, which we actively tried for. We each have 2 children from previous relationships, and there are blended family issues causing tension at the moment. I've been getting quite ill with regualr blackouts and am still suffering morning sickness.

We are going to try to make things work, but I am gutted to the core. It is not something that was said in the heat of a row, just in a "let's have a chat about what is wrong" talk.

I feel really upset - he is even talking about separating, and that his mum has offered to lend him money to get a deposit on a rented flat. We bought our forever home in October, and no way can I afford to pay the mortgage myself. I feel lost. I appreciate he is entitled to his own feelings, and to express these, but it doesn't hurt any less that he (a) is contemplating abandoning his pregnant wife and (b) has said he regrets the baby.

If he wants to separate, which he has said will be the case if our plan to improve things doesn't work, I really have no idea what will happen. I know this is a lot of what ifs, but the fact he has said how much he regrets all this, and that in his head he is at the stage where he has spoken to his mum who has offered him money, suggests that his mind may be made up already.

I think I just need some hand holding. He is/was my best friend, my happy ever after, only now it doesn't feel so much like that.

MarinaIvy Tue 26-Feb-13 17:53:50

Can somebody please PM me with the new thread? I can't find it, and def not a newbie. (Indeed, feeling pretty frickn old these days). Have posted to this before, too.

Hope all's well, waves.

Granitetopping Mon 25-Feb-13 17:52:05

I am also a newbie that has been following the thread but not commenting.

I hope all is well with you Waves - I respect your privacy and the need to avoid the Knobus Knob.

tightfortime Mon 25-Feb-13 16:21:50

I'm really sorry, I am one of the newbies who asked for help and PMed a member in finding the thread as I am only on here a few weeks (after lurking a while) and finding my way around.

I actually can't find the new thread but that's not important; waves is. I'm new as I left another site which was full of trolls and spam, so I appreciate the importance of caring for waves' privacy. I should have copped that one blush

lia66 Fri 22-Feb-13 18:30:09

Oh my goodness, I was following this quietly and have been away. Just popped. Ack to see how she is and from the last page it seems the man has found her. Gosh I hope she is ok. can someone let me know that op is ok please

BinarySolo Thu 21-Feb-13 06:53:41

I'm so glad others have said this as I've not pmed anyone for the reason I was worried wankface may set up an account. Felt slightly ungrateful as someone was kind enough to pm me BUT I am and have been on other threads for a little while now.

bamboozled Wed 20-Feb-13 23:10:42

Yes, being pmed by someone with no search history on MN doesn't inspire confidence - so sorry if you are genuine, but if you are the Twunt, rest assured we know you as the disgusting bullying individual you really are.

auntpetunia Wed 20-Feb-13 22:55:20

I agree its definitely not good to pm random askers, it doesn't take much to find the new thread!

LiveItUp Wed 20-Feb-13 22:07:13

Yes BOGEY, completely. Like you, no offence meant to anyone. I PM'd someone whose name I slightly recognised after looking at their posting history - there was lots over a considerable period so I figured that was OK, but I looked up someone else's posting history to try and help and there was literally no post other than "can someone please PM me ... ". So, sorry if that's you, but it doesn't take the brains of an archbishop to work out how to create a user name and I'm not risking being the one to direct twunt.

Twunt - if you're out there and reading this, you're a total arsewipe and the wrath of MN is descending upon you. Back off the lovely woman you married, leave her alone, and crawl back to your hole.

Bogeyface Wed 20-Feb-13 21:45:13

No offence meant to the supporters but anyone else slightly worried about PMing someone who turns out to be Twunt?

Hareseeker Wed 20-Feb-13 21:13:46

Me too, a silent supporter wanting to find waves. Please could someone PM me, many thanks

Imogencodpiece Wed 20-Feb-13 16:01:14

me too if at all possible de-lurking as i wish to continue following Waves thread, even though iv not posted as she already has lots and lots ofgood advice smile

BBMs Wed 20-Feb-13 15:43:48

Another lurker here... Been following this thread from the start, don't really have much advice but have had Waves and her children in my prayers.
Could someone please pm the link to the new thread? Many thanks x

oldwomaninashoe Wed 20-Feb-13 14:56:59

Another lurker wanting to follow Wave's new thread. I too don't get much MN time but have been trying to check on Waves

Listmaker Wed 20-Feb-13 14:08:41

Can someone PM me too please. Been following and lurking on this since the start. I don't get much MN time and have been coming on just to check on poor Waves so would like to offer support and de-lurk on the new thread.

Thanks!

alli1968 Wed 20-Feb-13 12:29:33

Likewise - can someone send me the new thread x

tightfortime Wed 20-Feb-13 12:08:45

Another lurker who has followed this from the start, worries for waves and wants to hold hands on the new thread if someone wouldn't mind PMing me please...thanks so much

Guiltypleasures001 Wed 20-Feb-13 11:50:28

Could I please also have a link pm as I do think of Waves quite a lot this end, and feel frustrated that there isnt anything I can do for her.

thanks in advance

bamboozled Wed 20-Feb-13 08:59:51

Thanks midwife x

goneHaywire Wed 20-Feb-13 08:14:40

waves - I have been lurking on your thread since the beginning.

I think you are amazing, you are dealing with so much, so well. I don't know what I would do in your situation but I hope I would find the strength to keep going as you have. you are an inspiration.

I can't find the new thread so before this one runs out I just wanted to wish you peace, happiness, good health and EVERY good thing in life.

...could someone maybe pm me with the new thread??

BinarySolo Wed 20-Feb-13 06:35:16

Thanks mushroom.

bamboozled Wed 20-Feb-13 06:24:38

Another long time lurker wanting to continue supporting. Please could someone pm me the thread? Thank you

MomaP Tue 19-Feb-13 23:44:41

I've been following this thread from the beginning, too.
Can anyone PM and let me know where the new one is? smile

FringeEvent Tue 19-Feb-13 23:19:38

Waves - I've been following your thread from the beginning, and I've just lurked quietly til now as I don't have any practical advice to offer that hasn't already been given by other posters. But I just wanted to send you a message of support before this thread hits its limit, and let you know I'm rooting for you thanks Really glad to see you're feeling more positive today.

I agree with LiveItUp that getting as much support as you can while you're still in the hospital is vital, I worry that when you're back at home and not feeling at your full strength due to the hyperemesis, it makes you so much more vulnerable to his evil game-playing. Please use the time away from your H to gather up your courage and ask for RL support from your care team. If the word 'abuse' is a term you don't feel comfortable saying out loud just yet, then forget about labels for the time being and just stick to telling them the facts (what he's done, what he's said). They WILL be able to help you, but first you have to tell them what has been happening.

I haven't yet managed to work out how to find your new thread, but I will persevere as I want to stick around and continue to give my support. x

whosthis Tue 19-Feb-13 22:22:09

can't find the new post. can someone pm me? thanks!

anniepanniepears Tue 19-Feb-13 20:26:16

thanks midwife

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now