Hi everyone, I am a couple of weeks away from having my first baby. My partner goes to work and I stay at home. I would say that on average every day he spends around 5 minutes WITH me. He gets home and says hello and we have a little chat about anything interesting that has happened that day and then that is it. I won't see him / spend time with him for the rest of the night. I also know that this weekend he won't spend any time with me.
If I bring up that he doesn't spend any time with me - or anything that upsets me actually - his response is that he goes to work all day. He uses this as almost a weapon. He does whatever he wants every single day and night and weekend - if I say but I want you to do this or I want us to do this or can you sit with me and talk? I GO TO WORK ALL DAY! If I go in one room he will go into another room. I go to bed very early and he doesn't come to bed till very very very late. So it's not like he doesn't get time for himself. If I ask him to do something with me on Sat or Sun he will say THIS IS MY ONLY DAY OFF A WEEK! (Which implies that I am another JOB he has to do).
If I start to 'nag' (this how I feel I am seen) he will say he goes to work and is stressed. For the record his job is not stressful - it is a really nice job - we both know this.
The bottom line is I feel I have to nag him to spend time with me - I feel SO lonely. I look forward to him coming home because I have spent the whole day alone watching TV - I then spend the evening watching TV and feel so bored and so lonely. I also can't handle this guilt that he keeps putting on me that he works and I do nothing. I am praying for the baby to come today so I will actually have some attention and something to do.
How can I stop him from making me feel so guilty about him working and WHY doesn't he want to spend any time with me? When we met he wanted, desperately, to spend 24 hours a day with me.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
How do I get him to stop using our circumstances as a weapon? and why doesn't he want to spend any time with me?
bearwithbearwithbearwith · 25/01/2013 09:37
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.