Finally, I am going for counselling but I am not sure what I am doing ...

[SummerDad]

I started a couple of thread about my relationship problems last month

Yet another male wanting some advice
Is it really important to confide in someone in life

I was advised by very supportive forum members to go for relationship counselling. I have just managed to muster up some courage and have signed up for a session with an independent counsellor next week.

I have never tried counselling before and I am still fairly clueless about this. I am not sure what I should be expecting from counselling, how would it really help us. What is a good counsellor like and how could I make this experience more meaningful and worthwhile. To be honest, I am still feeling quite nervous about this, though this nervousness won't stop me going for the session, I am sure.

Can you share your thoughts, experiences please.

[gorgeoushippo]

I'm definitely not an expert, but have been for some relationship counselling, and have discussed counselling with friends and family who go. The first session will likely be background info, talking about your situation, what you want to gain from counselling etc. nothing too scary! Try to be honest and say if you are feeling nervous.

I've found counselling to be tricky, sometimes leaving feeling good, sometimes leaving a wreck. After one session I couldn't stop shaking for days (but then felt better for having spoken about things). My friend calls counselling the big C, she hates it, but goes because it really helps. For me, it helps sort the confusion out, it feels helpful, but I still dread going. Think I'm going to go back for more.

Good luck!

[SummerDad]

gorgeoushippo your nick made me chuckle If you don't mind me asking why could you not stop shaking for days, what was so exhausting about this. Sharing my private life to some stranger really seems quite daunting to me.

[Skyebluesapphire]

My first session was paperwork and outlining the problem. It is very upsetting when you start digging into things, but it is good to get it out and deal with it.

[gorgeoushippo]

glad you like my name, it's new. Based on what ds said when I tried on my new snood for him, apparently I looked gorgeous, just like a hippo. hmmm. Am rethinking the snood.
The shaking happened after almost talking about something bad from a long time ago which I have never really spoken about. Sort of shaking from the inside, I don't really understand why, but definitely to do with counselling.
I'm not really helping, am I?! Honestly, it is totally worth it