Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.
The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Kicking The Wine Witch Into Touch!(1000 Posts)
Hello, I'm Mouse
Welcome to the Bus. We're a group of posters who have been on a journey to here, there and everywhere when it comes to alcohol and the abusing of it.
Some of us drink, some of us don't at all and some of us are trying to get there, really trying to just stop the cycle, break the habit and calm everything down. Some of us are desperate to not be 'that' person anymore.
One Day At A Time or ODAAT.
So what have you got to lose? Weight? Saggy, puffy eyes each morning? False friends? The risk of cancers and other fatal illnesses......... why not join us?
We have a resident MonsterCat, Wolf called Seth and Squid called Barry (best not to ask about Barry! )
And, if you want to see where we've been so far, the links below will show you. The first ever thread is the best by far, because the OP is just like you. And me.
FIRST EVER THREAD
Hi JWN thanks for your response. I do take all that you said on board, all those months of AA taught me loads about the family disease of alcoholism & I listen very carefully to a colleague of mine when talks about what it was like living with her alcoholic husband (she has no idea about my issues so she has no need to soften how it was when talking to me). I think that understanding how it is for everyone else is key for me!
I was feeling pretty sorry for myself yesterday so I apologise for that. I've been laid up in bed for two days with a flu like bug which hasn't helped!
I hope the rest of you are having a good day, it's beautifully sunny here which really lifts the spirits, & I don't mean the ones in a bottle
Dementdma, your joke made me properly chuckle
Ooh yes I love davina too!! And her fitness DVD's I so want her post pregnancy body and she is an inspiration really to show u can knock things on the head. Wasn't she a drug addict too tho or was it drink? Uh oh Joey I'm a bit :$ at thinking I'd been hiding my drinking from dp....does this mean he knows?! The thing he doesn't realise is the times I carry on after he's asleep in bed....and then I'm ill in the early hours but often recovered enough to escape notice by time he's up. Not anymore tho I really am doing this now I have already tipped wine away so this is serious!! (think I've only Eva done that once before in my life....!lol)
curry sorry about the house, what's meant for you won't go by you!!! Hope you find the recipient of that valentine, I once found a handbag
Sitting on the bonnet of my car, I returned it to its rightful owner and guess what she gave me, a bottle of wine, imagine the bloody
Irony!!!!! X x x
ma your joke did little for my weak pelvic floor x x x
Ma I want to tell everyone your joke, so funny
curry I agree, I know it's not particularly helpful but, que sera sera and all that.
< ducks as curry hurls a surprised and unprepared barry at me >
< sniggers as it hits baby by mistake >
Ahem, back to business. Curry try the letting agents, there may be someone willing to rent on a month - month basis.
Also, please take the valentine card round to the other address. In fact, I think you should start a whole thread about it in chat and see how many mners you can get waiting on the edge of their seats in anticipation of a romantic outcome. G'wan do it!
Need it's sunny here too. At last! I think it's gone to my head though, am being rather active this morning. Washing's on the line already and I've made a date with MIL for Saturday. Am now off to clean the bathroom. Hope you feel better soon, take care x
faire can I have a cup of whatever your on? You sound fab x x x
You certainly can baby, I'm on The Boing! And I'm boinging all over boingland like the Easter Bunny.
All you have to do it be nice to yourself. Fill yourself up with good nutrition, and a little bit of what you fancy. Have lots of rest. Don't poison yourself with alcohol and give your skin a nice little pamper.
Repeat for 5 - 7 days, then sit back and let the boinging commence
Oh, and you get to pocket the difference too! What's not to love?
You've got me convinced, go faire I wanna be in your gang x x x
OK, you're in!
< sprinkles with fairy dust >
Shall we have a disco on the bus tonite? I'll bring bucket loads of ice for the n&ts.
Who's going to be in charge of music. I'd like Dancing Queen, Night Fever, More than a Woman, y'na that kind of old stuff.
Oooh and a bit of Scissor Sisters to, always good for a bop!
Afternoon, tis me, Mouse
Ma - arf at that joke..... how's your brother today? Any news on if he's going to go to AA, take more counselling on board etc?
A few lines I picked up......
My dd is 13 she probably thinks everyone drinks every night, I hope I still have time to change this perception.
I'd say yes, of course you can change her perception, assuming that is how she sees you all of the time and not just on special occasions?
But given how most teens think, and yes, I am clubbing them all together I guess, they're already thinking about alcohol, the opposite sex, puberty etc long before they notice that mum and/or dad have a drink in their hand each and every night. The best thing that you can do is educate them about alcohol abuse. My parents never did, they just threatened me with various punishments if "I dared to......." which just brought out the rebel in me.
Don't be that parent, be the one that you want to be. Talk to your teen as an equal and treat them with respect and hopefully, you'll get it back, tenfold. Tell her that if she's gonna drink behind your back, to be careful. Warn her of the shit she can get into outside of the home, police, strangers, phone/bag stolen..... that sort of thing. Talk to her about the things that do and can happen. Even rape Sorry if that's too much but if she knows what real life fuelled by alcohol can be like, maybe she'll think twice.
I am not saying it'll work. DD has stolen alcohol from us. She fessed up because I asked her about it. I wasn't cross, I asked her how it made her feel. Sick as a dog for a few days apparently, I thought she had a bug!
Yes, you have to read between the lines, remembering that we were once that age, but maybe you/we didn't go out every night and drink cheap shitty booze from the local shop that would happily serve us at 13/14 because we almost passed for 16 and the laws weren't as strict then?
Communication, equally, respect, kindness, a bit of guidance.... hopefully, you'll be okay and have a great relationship with your teen? xx
Another was about the gorgeously sexy Davina <swoon> - she gave up booze years ago, I really want to be that person and we can give it a bash together x x x - we sure can!!
Yes, she rocks, loads! BUT!!!! I'm guessing that she had a personal trainer, nanny maybe? Chef or nutritionist I'm guessing to help her get to where she is now, it's taken her years not days or weeks...... I'm not trying to put you off that goal even though it reads that way but non of us have a personal trainer last I looked, nor a chef, or dietician?
<checks Barry's CV >
So, we, us wonderful Brave Babes have to rally round and do this ourselves don't we? We are the ones responsible - for what we eat, and drink, there is no chef to plan our day, cook our meals so they taste sublime, no personal trainer to kick our ass! Bloody good on her for turning her life around and kicking the booze into touch, now THAT WE CAN DO OURSELVES
I want that for all of us, I really, really do. And stopping drinking so much, eating poorly or not at all is something we can change too.... a bit of forward meal planning, more fresh foods, less fatty foods, Spring isn't far off, that's my incentive to stop with the stodgy foods. Back on the 5:2 Monday. And a new bra too!!
I've called a local hotel who have a spa, hydro pool which is great for my pain and asked about membership for disabled people who maybe wouldn't be able to get there all of the time (Nemo and pain) and they've suggested that I come in and see what gym equipment I could maybe use and they'll work out a price for me each month. Fab or what? I'm going next Friday as we have so many hospital and docs appts next week!
Curry - oh please do take the card, I think it's a fab idea, give true love a helping hand?
Baby - you sound amazingly upbeat and it's great to see xx
Emin - you okay? You were soooooooooooooo down last night, I couldn't reply as Nemo needed me.
JWN - you are so back, I'm loving it xx
Matty when I was drinking my poor dp had no idea Well, of course he knew I 'liked a drink' and of course he knew sometime that I had been overdoing it. But along with all my alcoholic behaviour I managed to hide a lot of my drinking. I had hidden bottles, I drank secretly before we went out, I hd perfected the art of pretend sobriety.
But it makes me really sad to think of these times, because I know that my innocent, naive dp was bewildered and confused. He didn't really understand why after ONE glass of wine, I appeared to be so drunk (err... yes, because I'd already drunk a bottle beforehand), or he didn't know why I refused to drive home after ONE glass of wine (not because I was obsessive about drink-driving, but because I'd downed a couple of gins in secret). And then (like you I think) I couldn't stand the idea that he would somehow "control" the amount I'd drink - and tbh I feared that I'd hate him for that.
Venus - I'm sat here nodding as I read your post...... hiding the drinking used to be a huge part of my drinking too.
DH has an office at the back of the house... there's a patio across from the kitchen door and two large windows that he could see me through... the alcohol is on the top shelf of the larder cupboard, and should I wish to, I could sneak something into a can of Diet Coke, or a glass of fresh OJ etc. You and others I'm sure get the gist.
I too would refuse to drop DD off, and had an arsenal of excuses ready and waiting each time he overcame the first excuse.
Like others, by the time we'd gotten to the hotel, I'd have necked a good 1/3 bottle of wine whilst 'getting ready'.
Even when going to family events where it was children focused, no bar or booze, I would have to have a drink on board before I could go, not just a drink of course! Oh the shame.
I was always the life and soul but no-one knew the real reason why, they may well have suspected but I was always half cut. Go me.
faire stop chucking that there squid about this bus!
I need to start again, I am right back at square one. Fat and drinking.
Glad you all liked the joke, its my favourite one.
Right now I just can't see a way I will ever be slim and sober
actually ma I think you were sober for pretty much all of January, so none of that please! And I don't believe you've fat.
On the other hand,Barry hasn't been out much recently, might you need a motivational slap?
guggs I am, but thanks anyway.
Yes, I probably do need a good Barry slap. Feeling a bit pathetic
Stop that ma, you did a lot better on the diet than me! (Although I have started taking the stairs at work, thanks to somebody on here suggesting it)
Also you encouraged other people on the boot camp, and most of them did better than me too!
<Marches in and slaps Ma and Joey with Barry>
Right, we've all had a shit time the last month or so with one thing or another but, we're in this TOGETHER and for the long haul for what I can see?
You BOTH post here on a regular basis, you BOTH motivate others and you've BOTH done well in the face of adversity recently.
<slaps them BOTH again>
Now then, (here is a general rant) as I type this, Nemo is coughing his little head off, as he does each night currently, he's not well, I'm not well, my pain levels are increased tenfold when he's ill.
We ALL HAVE OUR SHIT GOING ON! So, pull yer Big Girl Pants Up and get the fuck on with doing what you do best, kicking the WW into touch......
Okay, maybe tonight is too late, maybe tonight is a big ask, you don't want to be fighting. Fair enough, you could post and say 'I've poured it away' but still drink......... I don't want that, neither do you.
What I want to ask you, BOTH and ALL is to take it slowly again. January was a big push for lots of us, Dry January. Was it going to go over to this month? We can only answer that individually......
Go back to One *Day *At *A *Time, or an hour, minute. Start again tomorrow. Sunday, Monday, Whenever but DO START AGAIN.
Because you're worth it. Ever single one of you/us are worth a better, healthier life.
I'm sorry to preach at you but I care. About you all, this Bus, the passengers who are on Gerald..... You're all worth another shot at kicking the WW in the ass! Now come on! xxxx
Here I am end of day one feeling more hopeful going to do it this time
Day one is a great place to start
Night lovely babes
Night here too.
Day 1? Why the hell not.
See you tomorrow lovelies, sleep well, Nemo is very restless so I'm off to bed. xx
Morning brave babes, had a bit of a shit day yesterday so sorry for not keeping up with the bus. Was being such a rubbish mum to my boy who in turn was playing up to get my attention which in turn was making me cross & angry with him which in turn made me feel guilty for being such a shit mum....and so this went on all day! He still adores me, sometimes I feel I don't deserve for his love.
Thank you for your kind words Guggs about my job situation. Thanks also Curry, I'm getting myself all stressed out about this return to work interview but feel quite literally "I need to get a grip!" so sorry your house doesn't seem to be going through, hopefully this will pave the way for the better one, the one that's meant to be!
I've often thought about Davina too, I've heard her speak several times in interviews about why she doesn't drink and the way she describes her behaviour is one who binges and doesn't know when to stop. Starts with champagne & the night ends the next morning with her in some random persons house snorting cocaine. She said in an interview that she was scared of how addictive she became & the way she changed. I've always been a bit in awe of her and anyone who is able to give up alcohol Wishing all babes love & strength.
Day 4 of dry lent for me today & I won't be drinking tonight x
clutter you are not a rubbish mum. I think that like me you have a toddler who is a little bit erm...lively? busy? active?
My ds is delicious but OMG he's exhausting! Can you get him out to burn off the maximum amount of energy? Well done on the 4 days.
Work stress- I hate, hate ,hate that feeling. I only work part time so it doesn't happen anymore but you need to do something nice for yourself today and tomorrow to try to relax. I learned some relaxation techniques that helped. Can you get to the cinema or go for a swim or something? Awful to feel so wound up. look after yourself. x
curry the house situation sounds terrible. How long do you have left in your house? Any decent rentals near you?
I didn't know about Davina! Good on her for speaking out in interviews.
<wakes up covered in squid oil and wonders what happened>
Had a very --filthy- interesting dream about one of our clients last night, so starting the day with a smile
Morning, tis me, Mouse
Davina has spoken out openly about her 'past life' instead of hiding it (or trying to) like so many others and I applaud that very loudly indeed!
Actually, we've all kind of done the same haven't we? We've all come here and told our stories of how we end up out of control, somewhere we don't know, with faces we don't recognise..... past or present.
We've all made the decision that we don;t want that anymore which is why we're here isn't it? We are here because we don't want to start the night on
cheap plonk champers and end it in the morning when we've passed out somewhere.
Tiger - well done on the one year no smoking anniversary!! and you to Emin, toxin free feels so much better. doesn't it? I gave up when I met DH 8 years ago.
Curry -so sorry to read about the house falling through.....I hope you have some good news soon lovely, it's so worrying isn't it? xx
Clutter - you are NOT A SHIT MUM! You had a day of cat n mouse is all. DS behaves in a certain way, mummy reacts, DS responds. mummy reacts, and round and round it goes.
When you're dog tired, worried about soooooo many things that are on the 'inside' of your head and not visible to your DS, he picks up on it, plays on it and away you go again! He loves you unconditionally, remember that.
He doesn't get it that mummy needs some time out too! If he feels like that, he'll take himself off and have a bit of quiet time sat on his own I bet? Playing on his own for a while? You don't have that luxury when he's not in bed!! Give yourself a break and be gentle, you are going through the mill at the moment. xx
Ma - norty!! Cold shower??
Dementedma - would you like to join me in day1 today? I drank last night & now I have no booze, no money & need at least 24hrs clean before starting the detox on Monday. Apparently I'll be breathalysed at the appointment on Monday there's a first time for everything! I'm rather hoping that the Librium will wipe me out but I have to work next week so not too much
I am a master deceiver when it comes to hidden drinking, not only did I have have hidden bottles, I would decant vodka into old Pepsi bottles at the supermarket then chuck the glass into the recycling before even leaving the car park. I would also have one small glass of wine when out with colleagues then a (triple!) vodka & coke that I would get myself so other people thought I was having just the one small drink in the space of two hours.
Happy Saturday everyone. I shall take the puppy dog out a bit later when the fog clears.
This thread is not accepting new messages.
Please login first.