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Online guidance for daughters of NPD mothers

(9 Posts)
youlooklikeaclown Fri 25-Jan-13 16:08:15

Thanks Majestic,forgetmenots and CaoNiMa for the links. Speaking as a daughter of an NPD, early on in motherhood, the best way for me to cope was to do the complete opposite of my ma, later on in life my r'ship with ma has deteriorated. Now have ceased all contact, actually contact ceased 6 years ago smile It only gets awkward when DD asks questions about my childhood. DH has an r'ship with his ma of a similar vein. Drawing up your own boundaries of what you want to do with your mum might be an option, calling the shots helped me to gain some control back. If you get some distance it will get easier to deal with. HTH

MajesticWhine Wed 23-Jan-13 21:51:39

This book has a section about not continuing the legacy with your own kids.

link here

snowshapes Wed 23-Jan-13 06:38:30

responsibettery?! responsibility that should say.

snowshapes Wed 23-Jan-13 06:37:15

Agree with crapartist, my mum never took responsibbettery for her behavior, never questioned it. If you see parenting behaviors you don't like, you doing the right thing to acknowledge and change them. It does not mean you have NPD too, maybe just learned the wrong responses from your own upbringing.

Good luck with the counselling, I hope things get better for you.

CaoNiMa Wed 23-Jan-13 05:12:34

This site is quite interesting:

daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/

crapartist Wed 23-Jan-13 02:07:47

Speaking as someone with a narcissist mother, I can assure you if you were NPD, you would not be questioning whether you were, as you would not be aware of it at all. I hope you can take comfort in that.

flushes Wed 23-Jan-13 00:04:25

Thanks forgetmenots, I'll have a look at in the morning.

Sad to realise but the traits are there that I'd not recogised previously. I'm trying to work out ways to distance myself. I can handle this as receiving counselling (going to be an interesting revelation to my counsellor!) but just feeling worried that I have indavertantly been acting in a NPD to my DC.

I do not want them to experience that kind of behaviour.

forgetmenots Tue 22-Jan-13 23:49:01

Flushes I'm sorry to hear this. The first post of the Stately Homes thread is always full of useful info and links. I hope you might find support on the thread too.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1650915-But-We-Took-You-To-Stately-Homes-Survivors-of-Dysfunctional-Families

flushes Tue 22-Jan-13 23:41:25

I think I have a NPD mum. I'm not going to go into details but suffice to say I've had an epiphany moment after years of self doubt, depression, etc.

The thing is I'm VERY worried that I'm inheriting those traits with my own children. I would not want my DD to experience this kind of parenting or my DS for that matter.

Does anyone have any good websites that might offer online assistance with dealing with a NPD mother and parenting tips for my own DC/

Thanks Mumsnet

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