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Terrified of resuming sex!

(56 Posts)
abi2790 Sun 20-Jan-13 22:59:11

Hi everyone! As the title says I'm terrified of having sex for the first time after birth seven weeks ago. My partner has been giving hints for weeks and of course I've explained why I didn't want to and why I wasn't ready. Now it's different. I feel ready physically but I don't know if I'm there emotionally yet. How do I get past this? I feel if I listen to my brain then we will never do it! I'm terrified it will hurt, I'm breastfeeding so I don't want my boobies leaking and I feel ugly because of my really horrible stretch marks! Should I just do it and then it's over with and I have nothing to worry about? Arrrgghh confused face sad

RokerFace Mon 21-Jan-13 19:37:19

AnyFucker - make all the connections you want, knock yourself out. I was merely pointing out that joking about a Top Ten list of shite men do on a thread where you are suggesting the OP is being bullied by her DP isn't on. Nothing disingenuous about that.

OP has spoken, but you didn't listened.

So, from the OP obviously being pressured and her being told that her DP is bordering on sex pest behaviour to you are now suddenly sure that the OP his ok with a small amount of light heartedness - contradiction much?

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jan-13 19:46:36

Do it your way, Roker, I'll do it mine. Despite your twisting of my words.

FrequentFlyerRandomDent Mon 21-Jan-13 20:15:37

OP - congratulations!

I sympathise. There is nothing more off putting than being "reminded" about sex by OH. It should come naturally, otherwise it is just another chore.

Now a chid is like a bombshell physically and emotionally. A nice one but still, it does change a lot. It is normal to feel confused. What you wrote made me wonder; has his life changed at all?

Its sounds like you are tired, baby focused, which is normal. What is he now doing that he was not doing before? Is he simply waiting horny on the sofa for your to finish BFing baby? Is he sleeping soundly while you have broken nights?

I find my DH much more attractive and sexy when I am rested and feel that he is working as hard as I am. have you spoken to him about this?

What you said about wanting intimacy first, kissing, talking, holding, before resuming sex is very pertinent too. Is he trying to take it on board?

Breast milk takes 90 minutes to digest they say, so he could take baby for a walk or drive, given the cold, while you sleep.

BFing is not a get out card for dads. For example as soon as DD1 use sleep, my DH would send me to bed, close the bedroom door so that I would sleep on and sing/rock baby when she woke as long as possible so that I could rest before the next feed.

Numberlock Mon 21-Jan-13 20:21:58

Woah look what I missed during Corrie! Those comments were mine actually, Roker, and I instigated the 'high five'. Feel free to report if it offends, same comment to the OP. I stand by my comments, we'll have to disagree on our understanding of the word pressure as well.

AnyFucker Mon 21-Jan-13 20:42:01

How dare you watch Corrie !

Have you no respect for the OP???!!!

wink

abi2790 Mon 21-Jan-13 21:37:19

By hints I don't mean he constantly goes on about it and he respects the fact that I'm not quite ready. Because he wants to resume sex doesn't make him a sex pest! I wanted advice on how to deal with my own insecurities as well as how to explain to my partner why I'm not ready!

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