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I just need to say that I exist

(32 Posts)
agoodblue Sun 20-Jan-13 17:42:06

Because I'm not sure who knows that I do, and it's making me feel really sad. I wanted to reach out somewhere and the relationships board seemed a good place to do so, because this issue is about relationships.

I have a disability and at present I'm feeling very forgotten. I live with another woman in a flatshare who is lovely but she's always out. I don't work so don't have work colleagues, no children either. I do have good friends, but I'm not well enough to get out to see them more than every few weeks. And of course, they are really busy with their own lives; their children, their husbands, their jobs so it's not their fault I don't see them more.

I have not seen anyone in 5 days (other the housemate for about an hour one day when we watched some tv). I'm not going to see anyone until next Friday, when I go to volunteer, which I do for 2 wonderful hours a week. And I'm struggling so much with being so lonely. My disability has made me isolated for 10 years because of the nature of it; basically fatigue prevents me from doing all sorts.

I did have a partner, and it was bloody brilliant, knowing each day that someone was going to come home each evening, someone to laugh with. It was a good thing that relationship ended though and I am actually making the effort to go out on dates now (though Christmas wiped me out so I haven't been on one in awhile). I'm joining a couple of new social groups in my city because I do need to get out more. And I have all sorts of hobbies which I pursue in the day, which are not too tiring gentle but really fun. I have a lot of interests, which is lucky.

But I'm still struggling. I love people. I travelled a lot before getting ill, I felt passionate about seeing new places and meeting new people. I'm not suited to sitting in a house by myself day after day, year after year. But I'm not sure what I can do about my situation. I don't have family in the area and I can't move back to them as they live very rurally and my social life would shrink further.

Thank you if you've got this far. I'm not sure what I want from posting here. Support I suppose. Ideas to change my life (is such a thing possible?) And just for one moment not to be forgotten, because right now it feels like other than my parents everyone else has forgotten I'm sitting here, alone.

susanann Tue 22-Jan-13 19:49:57

you sound more positive now. thats good to see.x

foolonthehill Tue 22-Jan-13 21:05:30

Maybe a house rabbit: we had a house rabbit. He was gorgeous. happily they like to "do their business" in the same place so can be easily trained to go in a litter tray which is easy to empty and not smelly as they are vegetarians! They like a nice cuddle, a hop around a cozy lap or bed, ours would do a couple of tricks for entertainment (not at dog level...just begging and hopping into a hoop for a treat).

Just a thought. hope you continue to find ways to meet people and look forward to the better weather.

fuzzpig Wed 23-Jan-13 06:57:15

Have you seen the spoons thread on the general health board, it's for people with ME and similar conditions. It's been a lifeline to me, having people to talk to about this incredibly isolating condition, because most people I know IRL just don't get it!

We'd really love to see you over there, we are a lovely bunch smile

Join Rock Choir.

I joined last year, when I was suffering from anxiety and depression, in a constricting job and struggling trying to concieve a baby (diagnosed with severe endometriosis). I wanted to do something that just meant I'd go out once a week, do something fun... and it has changed my life.

Sounds silly but just meeting up and singing (no vocal ability required, don't worry!) has been soooooo much fun. I feel better in myself, I am now pregnant, and I really believe that it is the main reason my life got turned around. Check it out, anyway, hopefully they have one in your area you could go to a taster session for, to see if its for you.

Can't recommend it enough.

agoodblue Thu 24-Jan-13 19:06:59

Fuzzpig thank you for the invite, I will try and make my way over to that thread in the next few days. It's always good talking to others in the same boat.

Phoenix, will definitely look into singing and I do love singing, I'm just not sure I have the energy sadly. I joined a choir here last year, had a great evening singing and then couldn't get out of bed for 3 days I felt so ill. But I need to try a second time I think; so glad you enjoy it.

I have a friend now popping over on Saturday night which will be good, and two other friends coming for coffee over the next 2 weeks plus my counselling session. Things will start looking up very soon, I just need to get through January and February because this lack of light has a massive effect on me (have a light lamp, must dig it out)

I need to reply to a couple of kind pms sent to me, I started replying to one and managed to lose it all so apologies. I'm much more tired than normal right now (probably thanks to anxiety).

amillionyears Sat 26-Jan-13 11:34:06

examiner99, I wanted to pm you, nothing sinister, nice I hope.
Have you namechanged?
If it is all right with you, can you pm me please?
Feel free to search me if you want to see that I am an ok poster.
Thanks.

[sorry for interuption]

My sister was diagnosed with CFS/ME about 3 years ago. She went to the doctor, had lots of tests, then was diagnosed with CFS, and they recommended CBT. She says that NHS CFS departments are very depressing!

Because the NHS didn't seem to have a good idea what was the cause and what might help her she tried a range of 'alternative' therapies as well. She tried them all pretty much at once, so we're not sure what worked for her, I've written a list with her thoughts. She was determined to get her life back, and we did a lot of reading of books and the internet to try and find anything that would help her. Before being ill she was very active, and then suddenly she couldn't work, play sport, go out, talk to more than one person at a time, her sight blacked out if she did too much and she was back in bed recovering. It must be so so hard to go from an active and full life to what she was living.

She went from not being able to walk for even 5 minutes to playing a bit of football in about a year. 3 years later she is playing 90 minutes of football every weekend, working, life is pretty much back to normal smile

Because CFS/ME is such a broad umbrella covering what may be several separate diseases, these may or may not work for you - I really hope one of them is useful.

She highly recommends Perrin massage www.theperrinclinic.com. If you are anywhere near Birmingham I can pm you details of the bloke she saw. It's expensive, but did seem to offer an explanation, and concrete results. I think she credits the Perrin massage above all with her recovery.

She also saw a dietician, took lots of supplements, cut out wheat and dairy for a while, then gradually reintroduced them. All under the guidance of the nutrition lady. They even ended up sending a poo sample off to Germany to be analysed! Possibly TMI there! She stopped drinking alcohol completely, and improved her diet. Now when she gets the early signs again she makes sure her diet is balanced and cuts right back on the alcohol, and that seems to sort her out again. She doesn't take any supplements any more, and has no problem with wheat or dairy, so that was probably a red herring. She does now eat more veg and less pizza, burgers, processed food, her diet was pretty bad before!

She got herself out of a stressful situation - she had some stuff going on in her personal life that was very stressful at the time.

I really hope some of that is helpful. And I hope you enjoyed meeting up with your friend on Saturday night.

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