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Did you ever try to run away from home?

(25 Posts)
TheGoatThatGotAway Sun 13-Jan-13 17:44:16

As a child, I mean. And what is your relationship with your parents like now? Just curious...

issey6cats Sun 13-Jan-13 18:04:03

yes when i was about 11 got it into my head that i was going to live in an empty house, get a paper round and live on my own, i got on my pushbike with a pack of sandwiches a book and a bottle of orange squash, didnt tell me mom i had left home, cycled for half a day and then hit this huge hill and thought sod it im going home, and when i got home me mom said where you been i just said out on me bike so she never did know i left home to the day she died lol

foolonthehill Sun 13-Jan-13 18:59:58

Age 7 I decided to live in the bottom of my friend's wardrobe in the house next door to mine...she was supposed to bring me half her dinner and a jug of water every day.

My parents and hers thought I had gone home...massive search and lots of shouting..she confessed.. after about 20 minutes.....we were in so much trouble sad. No-one ever asked why I wanted to run away, I never told them and learnt the invaluable lesson of being invisible in my own life. Just trying to unlearn that now.....

parents still have no idea

TheGoatThatGotAway Sun 13-Jan-13 20:18:12

Aw, issey6cats... Doesn't sound like it would have been much of a life! Do you remember what made you set off in the first place?

foolonthehill, I'm doing some unlearning too. Just remembered my shortlived attempts at running away (always in the heat of the moment after an argument - I hid in a nearby field until I got cold and repentent enough to go back home sad) and trying to gauge how "normal" they were...

Ahhhcrap Sun 13-Jan-13 20:20:35

Yes when I was about 14. I was in trouble with school and figured I didn't want to get in trouble with my parents - again (I was a bit if a sod as a kid) I was found by the Dad the same day, about 8 hours later.

I have a great relationship with them now. I've actually had them over fir the weekend as its my DDs birthday

I did run away. At 17.

Went to work and didnt go home. They refuse to acknowlege they might have been in any way to blame.

Our relationship is shit. And my self esteem and self image are shot to shit because of their "parenting".

PrettyPirate Sun 13-Jan-13 20:35:28

Age 13, me and my then good friend made the plan together. Reason - our parents grounded us because we'd gone out to school disco and didn't get back home until 1am! Obviously that was too unfair.. So we run away few days later, I packed food and clothes, we were planning to hitchhike to the capital but that was our only plan.
My dad found us about 4-5 hrs later wondering around the town. He was furious and so my mum.

I had been straight A student until recently, made new 'friends' at new school, started smoking, drinking (luckily never tried any drugs), usual horrible behaviour.

After running away incident my dad took me out of that school and moved me to the school in next town. Stopped seeing those 'friends' pretty soon after and it took me few months to get back on track with school.

Me and my mum have been very close since I moved out to go to uni at 18, we still are, phone every week. She's my best friend.

AndMiffyWentToSleep Sun 13-Jan-13 20:46:10

I did, several times! Never got far though.

I remember being quite annoyed when, upon telling her I was going to run away, my mum offered to make sandwiches for me!

We get on well now.

TheSecretCervixDNCOP Sun 13-Jan-13 20:54:46

Yes, went to a friends house, and stayed over, and over, told them I had contacted parents to tell them where I was - I hadn't blush

2 days and the police turned up at friends house and a policeman gave me a bollocking AND swore at me. hmm

I was 15 but in my defence I now have no contact with my mother as she was unbearable from that age onwards. I wanted so badly to be with a family that didn't give me a complete dressing down for leaving a door open or a full lecture for not turning a tap off fully so it dripped and dripped overnight. I was kicked out at 16.

queenofthepirates Sun 13-Jan-13 21:10:51

Yes, aged around 8, clutching my toy lamb. My mum didn't seem particularly worried although I suspect (hope) she was watching from round the corner as I went all of about 200 yards before returning, having made my point. We have a good relationship now.

My 21 month old DD tried to run away on Jan 1st. She got 500 yards away when the police caught up with her and brought her home, smiling and giggling, to her poor mother who was by that point, having a massive flapping panic. I am considering microchipping her.

GiveMeSomeSpace Sun 13-Jan-13 21:25:20

Yep. I was 13. Stole £40 from my mum's purse (still feel ashamed to this day) and caught a train to London with a backpack of clothes and some packets of Wheat Crunchies.

Hung around Victoria station area and eventually got approached by a middle aged guy who followed me around for an hour and invited me to stay at his place for the night. I still remember him saying "It's not like I'm a murderer of anything". Had the sense to realise what was going on and say the right things to get away from him. Slept on a park bench that night.

The whole thing scared the shit out of me. Went back home the following morning to a monumental bollocking from my parents and the police. Felt like a complete twat.

I could say that I had reasons to run away, but the truth of it was that I was just a hormonal teenager. My parents were, and continue to be, great. To this day I still remember the moment I realised what danger I had put myself in. I also appreciate the fact that my parents must have done a good job at making me streetwise enough to get myself out of the situation.

I hope to god that my kids don't put me through that.

TheGoatThatGotAway Sun 13-Jan-13 21:51:38

I'm really sorry, wannabe and TheSecretCervix sad

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Sun 13-Jan-13 22:00:19

Yes, when i was 15, my mum found me in the streets sat in a pile of leaves crying. I was surprised she came looking for me.

Can't remember exactly how old I was maybe 9 or 10 - anyway my parents are indian and of an old skool culture they were really strict on us when we were young and made us recite times tables over and over again and god forbid we got it wrong. Smacking was used but not in an abusive way and it was the norm in those years - anyhow I got smacked by my dad a few times in a row for getting my times table wrong and my mum grassed me up to him I hated it so much I had enough I packed my clothes in bin liners hid them under my bed the next morning I threw my bags out the window got on my bike with bags in my basket and went to ride to my mates house two streets away from I couldn't remember her door number - mum found me they asked why I did it I told them cos of the smacking they just brushed it off like it was anything major.

To this day they are still controlling wanting to decide my life for me etc to be honest I never told anyone this but feel safe in saying it here but in particular my dad - I have to admit I will be relieved when he is no longer around - not just because of the smacking but also because at 64 he drinks every night after work sometimes to the point he can't walk properly - countless xmas' and bdays (mine being 28 dec) have been ruined because he can't handle his drink anymore. He says stuff to my mum for no reason things like she is stupid has no brains cos the food was not cooked properly or she is taking too long getting something etc especially when he is drunk my mum does defend herself and when I am there I do stick up for her and calm things down - she will never leave him because its not done in indian culture to leave your husband - he has never been physically abusive and to be fair when he is not drunk he is a normal person.

One year I had to go on a trip with just him to Canada to attend his mates daughter's wedding- he promised my mum he would not touch alcohol cos I was with him. When we arrived he was introducing me to his friend and the family so what does he say my daughter cycles alot she loves it she did a big charity ride and cycled 68 miles but you wouldn't know it looking at her (yes I was a size 16 at the time) I was so mortified it was so hard to just sit their and smile. A day later we were staying at a relatives house and Canadians seem to eat a huge breakfast - I was just having toast and my uncle asked if toast was all I wanted - my dad chips in and says yes you wouldn't need to feed her for a month because she will just use up her fat - it took every effort to finish what I was eating. Once the wedding was over we went sightseeing etc and this is when he broke his promise and bought a bottle of barcadi. I have never been able to go on a holiday with him again.

Sorry for going off topic but I have tried to talk to my younger sis but as soon as I say even one bad thing about my dad she gets very defensive. I tried to tell my mates but they say that's how indian families are. I don't think I can ever really love my dad - I know how hard he is worked and given me money for uni etc which I am thankful for but I don't know how I will ever be able to mention all the above again without wanting to cry about it.

I don't know if I can really say that I love my mum because she prefers my younger sis to me n the way I can tell is that she prefers to tell my younger sis everything about her day right down to the conversations she had etc but if I were to ask how her day was she would also just give me a summary.

McBalls Sun 13-Jan-13 22:18:14

I 'ran away' aged 13. Had wanted to for a long time and the final push was that I had eaten a yogurt that was supposed to be for my younger siblings packed lunch the next day. Told my mum I was staying at a friends house.

I had just enough money for a bus into central London and wandered around the Victoria/Vauxhall areas til around 2am -hoping really that a police officer would see me and take me home, but I was only approached by a middle aged man who thought I was a prostitute ( or maybe hoped, I certainly wasn't dressed in a way that would suggest it).

Spent a horrible, cold, scary few hours in a housing estate stairwell in Clapham til around 6am when I found a cab office and got it to take me home (actually to a road that ran parallel to mine and linked to it via an alley). I still feel awful about that cab driver 20 years later.

My relationship now with my mother is ok - but I can't understand how she allowed life for us all to be so hard. Though times and norms change I suppose.

TheSecretCervixDNCOP Sun 13-Jan-13 22:21:45

Goat You've no need to be sorry it's not your fault! I'm sorry if I upset you with that <hug>

I'm 23 now with a wonderful fiance, a beautiful daughter and another DC on the way. Haven't seen her now for over a year after repeated attempts to remain reconciled have failed miserably, she lost the right to see me and her grandchild(ren) when she contacted social services about the welfare of my dd. (SS came and went with no concerns whatsoever)

Anyway! Sorry again, I did not mean to cause you any upset and I am very happy these days! smile

PimpMyHippo Sun 13-Jan-13 22:24:35

I ran away LOADS between about 6-9yo - I was perfectly happy and well-loved, I just enjoyed the drama. blush I was never gone for more than a few hours, and only ever on foot so never got far. The last time I did it, when my dad found me, he put his phone on loudspeaker and played me the voicemail my mum had left him when she realised I was missing. She was absolutely distraught, sobbing "I can't find Hippo!", and I felt awful. sad He also threatened to take me to the police station and have them tell me exactly what happens to children who run away, but he must have realised the phone thing was more than enough! I never did it again.

sashh Mon 14-Jan-13 04:29:46

I considered it seriously inn my teen years.

But part of the parental abuse was financial.

I wanted a part time job, so I was told to work for my dad. Which was fine except I only got paid when they felt like it.

And when I did get paid I had to buy things like shampoo, school suplies etc.

When I got a full time job they took enough 'board' off me that I was still dependent.

I do sometimes wonder whether I should have just walked out on my 18th birthday. I know I would have been sleeping on the streets and that is hard to get out of, but would it have been better?

Mimishimi Mon 14-Jan-13 06:05:13

Twice. The first time my brother and I (18 months difference) planned to run away to the big pine tree about 250m down the road where we had built a big treehouse out of the poles leftover from a football match at the oval across from our house. I was about 9, my brother was about 7. We planned a nightime exit.Everything was going according to plan until one of the jars of honey we had pinched from our large backyard shed (full of books and preserves etc) leaked all over my sleeping younger brother's head. We started whispering furiously and my dad woke up and discovered us.

The second time I was about twelve. I had a huge row with my mum over something I can't remember now. I took off on my bike and rode down into a nearby valley .. It was about a two hour long bike ride. A farmer who knew my parents saw me and waved. I rode on hoping he'd think he was mistaken. Well, anyway, he rang my dad and asked if he knew that I was down in the valley by myself. Dad said no and he told my dad he'd pick me up and let me spend the afternoon at the farm. By then I was getting pretty tired and started to regret the whole thing as I'd have to ride up a rather steep hill to the ridge if I wanted to go home. I stopped my bike at a river ford and pondered what to do. Then Bill showed up, gave me a friendly grin and asked if I was running away. He listened very sympathetically to my tale of woe with my mum and said I could come back to the farm and have something to eat if I liked before going on. I agreed to that and his wife had put out some scones, jam and cream . They let me muck around with the horses, I helped clean out the chicken coop, picked some blackberries, fed the pigs, he showed me a new Arab they'd recently bought ( whom they named 'Yasser'), ate more scones and then they said at about six "maybe you should let your dad know now". During none of that time had they let on that they'd already contacted my parents. Dad came and picked me up and they all had a chuckle ( but good naturedly).

My relationship with my dad is still good. It's a bit more mixed with my mum as she has always been a bit volatile and used to fly off the handle easily.

TheGoatThatGotAway Tue 15-Jan-13 19:29:14

Thanks for your stories, everyone. They are such a mixture. Really sorry to read about some of the things people have been through.

RollingThunder Wed 16-Jan-13 08:33:45

I left home and stayed at a friends at about 17, eventually went home as I had no choice really. Now totally estranged from my parents!

MerryCouthyMows Wed 16-Jan-13 10:26:33

Yes, when I was 15. Twice. Once I spent the night in a field, and was brought back by the police to a friend's house, and SS made me go back to my mum and stepdad's house, then the second time I thought it out better, and caught a train to the nearest town with an SS office, presented myself and refused to return.

Have never lived with them since - I was moved in first with my Uncle and then with my Granny until I left home at 16.

Only see my Mother 6 times a year - for an hour on my birthday and each of the DC's birthdays, and for the day on Boxing Day each year.

We speak on the telephone at least once a week, but that's what suits me - telephone contact where I can hang up if it gets too much.

My mother still has issues with alcohol.

jessjessjess Wed 16-Jan-13 19:04:23

I did run away - to a squat in my late teens.

My parents weren't great parents.

I'm currently in therapy.

janajos Wed 16-Jan-13 19:29:12

When I was 7, I told my mum i was running away, she helped me pack my ballet case and told me I could go as far as I wanted, but wasn't to cross any roads! I went two drives down, hid for 10 mins and crept back!

fullboarder Wed 16-Jan-13 21:19:11

When I was 11 years old a friend and I ran away from our boarding school. We were totally unprepared, in our uniform and got caught by a teacher driving home, about 2 miles from school. We were trying to walk to the airport to get on a plane so I could go to my parents who were on the other side of the world. The headmaster made us stand outside his study for sbout an hour and then he saw us individually and gave us "3 of the gym shoe" on our backsides (and it was a huge gym shoe given full force behind it). I was so bruised I could barely sit down for a week. He told me that he'd be writing to my parents to tell them what I'd done. To this day I don't know if he did or not. I never dared to go near the school boundary ever again. I still find it hard to believe that he really saw this as an appropriate punishment, I'll never forget the fear of waiting for that shoe to hit.

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