just looking to talk

[tiredoftrying]

it just seems to get worse , single ex wont leave me alone kids wont listen ,don't have a friend in the world ,don't even have a family member to speak to , 1000 problems

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

you are alive in 2013. you've got to admit, that sounds like a space-agy age to be alive in. Plus its the start of a new year, whats to say this time next year you won't look back on these problems as the things that kickstarted you?

Plus, you have MUMSNET!

[izzyizin]

Is the ex you're referring to the father of your dc? How many dc do you have and how old are they?

[GiveMeSomeSpace]

You can always talk here. We'll listen to your probs and try and help :)

[kilmuir]

tell us more about you and your children/

[tiredoftrying]

I have said that every year for so many years an I seem to still be here living a nightmare lol I do usually deal with my own but frankly now I just don't know where to turn

[meditrina]

Turn here!

We can try to advise, or at least distract.

[tiredoftrying]

I have 5 ,18 to 5 yr olds an that's hard enough ,but is made more diffecult by one father that doesn't seem to give two hoots until it suits him an another than only wants me ,he is my biggest issue ,he is not only obsessed with me an stalks an harrases me constant he is now also suicidal so that a bit extra pressure that if I don't answer a simple txt for mre that 5 mins its threats or abuse

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

sort the fathers out first. Report the stalker to the police. Don't let the other one boss you around

bang and the dirt is gone

(I don't mean shoot them)

Don't let a twat of a man make you feel like you do. Easy to say, I know...

[tiredoftrying]

I have reported him with every threat but all I get is we will have a word but that word does nothing ,he doesn't give a shite about what I plead or what police say .I did have an injunction not so long ago as he got a bit more violent than usual infront of the kids ,but again that didn't stop him

[tiredoftrying]

I am usually a strong headed person and have tried to deal with this ,but now its getting silly where he is self harming an using it against me as I just want my kids to have there dad ,but the selfish little twat (excuse me ) doesn't see it .. there are so many dads that want there kids an through spite parents wont let them now here I am trying my hardest for them to be part of there kids lives an they wanna make it hard I just don't understand

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

You should go and see CAB or women's aid, you can't be doing with that.

If he violates an injunction surely it is prison time. Women's Aid or possibly (IANAL (yuk I hate that acronym)) legal aid could get a solicitor to make the police take threats seriously.

I am not saying you should have to, no way, but what about a fresh start some where else? Would that be an option. Obv would be upheaval for your DCs though.

What about hobbys? Is there anything you could do to meet people? Keep Fit something like that?

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

edit: HE is self Harming HIMSELF. It is his actions, nothing, nothing at all to do with you.

[tiredoftrying]

tried keep fit but he turned up outside so that was a no no ,looking to movealthough I don't want to an police ,solic,waste of time ,have no hobbys really .to behonest I was with him 7 ish yrs an I don't even know who I am anymore

[tiredoftrying]

self harming he says is down to me to take the pain away ? I don't understand it at al ,every threat I get I report to his his parents but it still comes back to me as its my responsibility

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

just go to the police, don't mess around with his parents etc. they will probably either take his side or else be unable to do anything.

As for you, why not try keep fit again, or else a book club (although they sound awful to me tbh). There are social circles where I am, maybe look into them?

I reckon (with absolutely no training or whatever at all), you should split these into 2 groups of the positives - 1) getting away from the negatives (him) and 2) introducing something positive into your life

[tiredoftrying]

yes awful to me too lol ,I am really trying to be positive but omg its getting so hard ,I am starting new things but having no one at al is really getting me down now ,most have a one person to speak with but I have none now, an having the kids too its ust all seeming so much

[tiredoftrying]

just seems hard to stay strong an keep him away when its always ended up me taking him back just for some peace from it all ,silly I know self inflicted I know ,just think if I try something else I may be able to stay positive .

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

what about your DC's schools? Do they have coffee mornings things like that?

they are most likely a bit over earnest but I am sure they are very welcoming

[tiredoftrying]

lol coffee morn at school I avoid the parents as much as I can ,they all into the gossip of the nxt person ,I just don't do it if I have something to say I usually just say it so behind backs des my head in

[tiredoftrying]

walking around with my head under my armpit lol

[ahmnoclassyladybut]

I reckon I'd try keep fit again then, maybe a class though so that you are ending / starting at the same time. go for a cuppa afterwards?

[tiredoftrying]

yea can try agai I suppose ,need the umph to get up n go I think ,ud think the extra few pound (stone)would do it lol ,so tell me about u ?

[MeaninglessStrife]

Feeling pretty much the same OP -this is hard work but I've had some amazing support on a thread I've just posted on here in the last few days - about escaping an abusive ex.
Hoping the future brightens for all of us soon

[tiredoftrying]

it feels like we are alone but places like this might help ,I have myself had a couple of abusive relationships its awfull ,and to get out is the hardest cos all u want is fot them to stick to there word and never do it again x