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would you date a transgendered man?

(481 Posts)
ecofreeek Thu 10-Jan-13 19:02:47

I am in my late 30's and single (divorced). Recently though work I met a man who seemed really nice. We flirted a bit and last weekend he asked me out for a drink. It went really well, nice snog! and we arranged to meet for dinner this week

At dinner he told me that basically he used to be a woman. He has had testosterone treatment for many years and both breasts removed and a hysterectomy. But not the surgery that makes a penis...

I really like him. But I'm a bit freaked out. I guess that's why he told me 'early' in our dating... I dont want any more children s thats not an issue... its the whole man thing - he looks like a man, acts like a man and I would never have guessed that biologically he is not a male...

the sex thing ....

would you date a transgendered man >?

Pigsmummy Thu 10-Jan-13 19:41:27

No I couldn't. Puritybrown there is nothing wrong with what was said by Apocalypyto said.

AvonCallingBarksdale Thu 10-Jan-13 19:41:45

Definitely not, I'm afraid. Rightly or wrongly, it would be the absence of a penis.

Astley Thu 10-Jan-13 19:41:54

No. I could pretend I might consider it, but in reality there is no way I actually would.

Greensleeves Thu 10-Jan-13 19:42:17

No, I definitely wouldn't.

drownangels Thu 10-Jan-13 19:43:15

No I wouldn't.

No way, not for me. I dont want to have sex with a woman, and sex is a huge part for me.

She is female. She has just had her boobs removed. She still has a womb, and a vagina.

Sorry, just my opinion.

McNo Thu 10-Jan-13 19:44:34

I don't think I could but if i fell in love with the person then maybe I could based on loving the person not their gender.

msrisotto Thu 10-Jan-13 19:45:23

I agree with Apocalypto. To pretend otherwise is stupid.

StinkyWicket Thu 10-Jan-13 19:45:52

I honestly don't know.

I've had lots of disappointing PIV sex and much better non-PIV sex (all hetero though) so I don't think that would bother me so much.

I would like to think it wouldn't bother me at all, because in all honesty (and I know how shallow this makes me sound!) it would be other people's opinions and views that would bother me more than the actual physicalities.

That said, having never been in that situation I just don't know!

I would say, if you like him then go for it. If it works out, then brilliant, if it doesn't, then it's surely just a failed relationship for whatever reason than failed because he used to be a she?

I think a bisexual woman would find this a lot easier to deal with. Most (not all though) heterosexual woman need male genitals for sexual fulfillment in a relationship.

PurityBrown Thu 10-Jan-13 19:46:51

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ecofreeek Thu 10-Jan-13 19:47:29

I have name changed. Some people know me in RL . so to protect my privacy (and his if it goes further) It felt best.

I do very much admire his honesty and I think he is very brave to bring it up, just like that, over dinner ! I get the feeling that he is very much at ease with himself after many years of difficulty. He certainly seems very, mature and sensible.

I'm quite ashamed to say that if you had asked me, I would have said I couldn't do this. But I am thinking about it. Because I like him, and I did find him really attractive. But I don't want to start something I deep down feel uncomfortable with - because potentially I could hurt him - and he's been up front with me, I would like to be honest too.

MorrisZapp Thu 10-Jan-13 19:47:42

No way.

mellowcat Thu 10-Jan-13 19:47:49

I think I would be ok with it.

UmDieEcke Thu 10-Jan-13 19:48:32

What BOF said

Maria33 Thu 10-Jan-13 19:49:32

I am shock that so many people think it's ok to call a pre-op transsexual man a mutilated female. I too have reported the post. The ignorance displayed by some posters on here is blush

RyleDup Thu 10-Jan-13 19:49:39

If I was attracted to him anyway, then I wouldn't have a problem with it. I'd give it a go and see how it works out.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Thu 10-Jan-13 19:49:42

I'd certainly rather date a transperson than a fucking bigoted, closed-minded, heteronormative mundane, any day.

Greensleeves Thu 10-Jan-13 19:50:22

Gender IS binary

and not wanting to sleep with a woman - even if she has taken great pains to look like a man - is not being "hung up", it's being heterosexual confused

xkittyx Thu 10-Jan-13 19:51:01

I've also reported Portofino's post. I'm quite saddened at the level of transgender bigotry displayed here.

Pickles77 Thu 10-Jan-13 19:51:24

I'm with BOF too I'm afraid.
I'd like to say if it was me in the situation id be open minded

Greensleeves Thu 10-Jan-13 19:51:36

we weren't asked whether we hate or want to persecute a pre-op transsexual man, we were asked whether we would like to sleep with one

why are accusations of bigotry flying around? I'm perplexed

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Thu 10-Jan-13 19:52:17

No, gender isn't binary. This is a fact, not a politically correct opinion. People are born intersex and hermaphrodite - not many, but enough for it to be simply incorrect to insist that gender is binary.

PurityBrown Thu 10-Jan-13 19:52:37

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Maria33 Thu 10-Jan-13 19:52:50

Yes but I don't think sexuality is binary. Anyway, good luck ecofreek. Let him down gently smile

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