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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!

(1000 Posts)
Mouseface Tue 08-Jan-13 11:59:43

Hello, tis me, Mouse smile

Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!

Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!

Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.

Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.

We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT smile

Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.

Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.

EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.

For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD

And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD

Haven't read all the other posts yet but just want to say Venus thank you - that was a really lovely, thoughtful and truthful post, and I very much appreciate it. xx I do feel flat and sad at the moment.

Thank you Purple & Mouse too. Onwards and upwards, eh.

Purple please please send that guy a message pointing out that the plural of ellipsis is ellipses... grin

Oh Clutter that's not good. I bet it's partly because you drank at the same rate as you would normally drink but because you've given your liver a break with abstinence (so it stops producing increased levels of alcohol dehydrogenase) then you got much drunker, much faster. I agree with writing it all down and using it to motivate you to stay stopped.

Welcome MrsMalinky and casawasa.

PurpleWolfe Mon 21-Jan-13 15:59:24

I'm not putting my head above the parapet with him Mia, it would be like poking a vicious snake with a stick! Wouldn't touch him with yours! grin (Go on, that has to have made you smile smile, just for a moment?) xx

PurpleWolfe Mon 21-Jan-13 16:05:25

Welcome to Malinky and Casawasa. This Bus is full of people with empathy, sympathy, compassion and good advice (and a giggle sometimes!). Coming on here, being honest (maybe for the first time) and getting support is a great way to understand and change your relationship with alcohol - whether that is cutting down or stopping altogether. Take care.

curryeater Mon 21-Jan-13 17:38:20

Clutter, huge hugs for you.
What does your DH say about all this? Does he understand?
The more your friends and neighbours see you sober and charming, the more that night will recede into the backs of their memories, or just fall out. you can do this.

Welcome MrsMalinky. I know the feeling. There have been times when I have told DP on a sunday morning that we have to walk somewhere or can't go (he doesn't drive). I hate it but I'd rather say that than crash the car with my babies in it, or someone else's in the other one. Are you a SAHM? the latter parts of my maternity leaves were the worst for the booze. Hate to say it, but family life can be boring. Yes, we love them, yes we would do anything for them, but .... here we are again hanging out laundry....

Read somewhere that it is interesting to think of sobriety like a subtle new drug. Yes, it can be very nice to experience things in a different and more sensitive way. but also things like boredom, or sadness, or just a cold, can hurt more. I think that is a useful way to think of things while you are in the throes of novelty but I need - lots of us need - something that makes you keep at it, not just turning over the novel experience of sobriety in your hands like a pretty leaf and then throwing it away and getting on with normal life ie getting trashed.

grin Purple

Wise words Curry

Thanks for hugs curry really need them today sad Dh said he didn't think I was as bad as my friend is making out. He said he knows it was the wine & not really me blush I wrote out my list of what effect wine has on me, my life, my relationships. I showed it to him & he just laughed and said I am so melodramatic when I'm hungover! I don't think e understands the shame & guilt I feel. As long as I'm with him he doesn't seem to mind my terrible behaviour. He hates when I don't come home which is sometimes where my binge drinking has taken me. My dd just says "yeah yeah mum heard it all before" or "oh well as long as you had fun"
Your post has really made me think differently about sobriety which is what I need to do.
I need to change my mindset about alcohol x

determinedma Mon 21-Jan-13 19:05:14

Welcome malinky a very familiar story on here.
A busy day at work, lots and lots of snow.
mouse glad you had a nice break.
purple is that a pic of TF? <innocent face>
Has anyone seen Barry recently? What is mia cooking tonight?

Tigerinthegrass Mon 21-Jan-13 20:15:58

Evening. I'm not impressed dh just opened a bottle of wine and asked if I want a glass. He never drinks wine but got it given and out of beer. Gggggrrrr. I want some. He will only have a glass, then there's an open bottle in the kitchen. I can't tip it as he will moan its wasteful. FFs.
Evening all and welcome newbies x

eminemmerdale Mon 21-Jan-13 20:19:13

Argh, just wrote a mega post and it didn't go! grr. In a nutshell, it was all about other people being nervous about drinking and laughing off the effects we know are appalling because they are scared of their own drinking and relationship with alcohol. It was much longer and deeper than that though sad bugger.

PurpleWolfe Mon 21-Jan-13 20:45:06

Emin I think you are right but also, in the case of my ExP, he didn't want to face the facts (unless he needed something to 'throw' at me in an argument and then he could be very nasty indeed) because, I think, it would mean to him that he needed to address the problem too, in some way - and he didn't want to either. Also, I think he felt guilty about how he treated me and may have felt some of my drinking was his fault. (Don't worry, I know it's my responsibility and not his) Does that make any sense?

Be strong Tiger! You can do it. Bit insensitive of DH? Meh! x

Curry I identify with what you've said about, initially, sobriety being a bit of a novelty - almost a bit of drama, something you think about constantly, something tangible to fight against (the withdrawal symptoms etc) so when it all becomes a bit boring and humdrum, that's the time to really dig in and find the resolve to live life, face the daily grind, whether boring or not, without alcohol.

Ma? Innocent face? I should coco!!??

No alcohol today and the shop of evil is now closed. smile

determinedma Mon 21-Jan-13 21:06:57

No alcohol here tonight and the wine witch didn't even bother dropping in.maybe she's frozen to her broomstick somewhere.
tiger stay strong.
Hope all babes are warm, safe and sober

guggenheim Mon 21-Jan-13 21:19:03

Evening babes

Just checking in (because I finally stopped piddling about on mn and got some work done)

Welcome new babes smile
ww likes to piss me off between the hours of 6 and 8.30 these days, I ignore her and she fucks off.She doesn't get to me much anymore but that's when I think about wine and feel a little sad that I'm not having any.

Other than those couple of hours I feel very happy- so go and do one ww.
<21 days! boing>

Tigerinthegrass Mon 21-Jan-13 21:32:26

It keeps shouting at me when I go in the kitchen. I wish he'd drink it all and have a hangover tomoz. Boy would that make me happy.
21 days here too but I've already worked that only means one more dry weekend!

aliasjoey Mon 21-Jan-13 22:08:13

evening babes

how are you feeling today babyjane ? did you go to the doctors?

greeneyed Mon 21-Jan-13 22:28:40

Evening babes - ma that is cracking, you've ignored her so she's gone away. Getting into the habit of not drinking so the fear is leaving you and it's not all anxiety, and self doubt letting her in. You know you will be more than fine without a drink so her arguments are less persuasive - she is losing her grip over you - huge well done smile gugg tiger joey and all other dry january stayers huge well done too and you too purple great comeback smile Wave and love to all the other brave babes out there, keep on keeping on.

curry I am still thinking about your inertia comment, it is so true rather than make changes in our lives we mask our disatisfaction, boredom etc with alcohol and so it goes on. We need to grab LIFE rather than the bottle if we want to be happy. There is a great youtube video someone has posted on the soberistas website I'll try to link to later when I'm on my laptop.

Where is this new found motivation coming from? Well I went sledging with my little boy - we were tired it was getting dark (dragging him home from nursery) but we saw a hill and just went for it - it was brilliant, sometimes in life you habe to grab the momentn I'm going to actively try to do that more, to say yes to more things.

This all sounds a bit cliche and self help manual from me tonight but I'm that way out smile

curryeater Mon 21-Jan-13 22:51:46

Yay greeneyed, for spontaneous sledging!

Tiger,what would your dh say if you just asked him to do something with that open bottle of wine? Something like:
"it is hard for me to ignore that bottle and I really wish it wasn't there. please could you take it away because it is important to me not to drink at the moment" ?

Clutter, do you think your dh is minimising your behaviour, or your friend overstating it?
If dh minimising, do you have an idea why? Does he like a drink? Or maybe just doesn't want to think about things that are too "heavy"?

Ma Nothing nutritious in the Mia repertoire today. sad I made macaroni cheese today, my stodgy comfort food and not at all what should be on my plate at the moment. I did try to make a healthy version but there's no getting away from the basic ingredients! Still, DD was overjoyed as that's her favourite.
No alcohol today but chocolate ice cream. sad

"Mia The weekend is over, launch yourself into the new week with the knowledge that you have choices and you've managed good choices overall recently. x"
Purple that is what I'm going to try to do. Thank you x

Tigerinthegrass Mon 21-Jan-13 23:19:23

curry he doesn't get it. He just can't understand why I can't just have one glass. So therefore doesn't see the problem. He's not a drinker at all.

greeneyed Mon 21-Jan-13 23:25:33

Tiger, can you cook something with the wine - beef bourgingnon or something or would that be too dangerous?

Tigerinthegrass Mon 21-Jan-13 23:33:08

I'm planning to put it in the fridge as I hate cold red. To be honest it's made me feel stronger ignoring it all evening. Thanks x

Tigerinthegrass Mon 21-Jan-13 23:54:33

Hehe just looked and he's actually drunk all but about a glass. He will be rough tomorrow!! The Jaffa cake witch got me though wink

determinedma Tue 22-Jan-13 06:12:35

Morning all. Early start for business breakfast. Baltic temps and snow. So glad am not hungover

Morning brave babes well done to all who kicked the ww's butt last night. I am still not feeling great from my Saturday night. If I have a binge like that it normally takes days to recover. This morning I've been in tears, don't want to go back to work, sad at what is not good in my life and basically feeling really sorry for myself. Think I need to get a grip sad
curry I'm not sure but my friend has been my friend for 28 years since we were 6 so do trust her & she always sticks to vodka & doesn't get so out of it. My dh has been doing dry January with me & is also stopping smoking & has just started wearing patches. He got really drunk too so not sure if his version that I wasn't that bad us due to him wing pretty out of it too iyswim? X

Fairenuff Tue 22-Jan-13 08:22:48

I heart the Jaffa cake witch, she's like the antidote to the ww.

Good to hear lots of positive feedback. Even those that 'slipped' seem to be having longer spells inbetween bouts. Tis all moving in the right direction.

No booze here either. I wonder, are we going to have a go at dry February or will the bus be full of hungover babes on 2nd Feb? grin

Ma I have a confession. Boot camp aint going too well. I'm having a little trouble getting in the healthy eating pattern. Anyway, back on it now and am aiming to lose 2 stone by June. We'll see.

Love to all x

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