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The Brave Babes Battle Bus - Are Going To Need A Bigger Bus!(1000 Posts)
Hello, tis me, Mouse
Welcome to the Brave Babes Battle Bus, it's a place of solace, support and sanctuary, but also it's also a Bus full of chatterboxes, waffling on about all sorts!
Our aim this year is to kick the WineWitch or WW into touch and get sober!
Some of the Babes on board are doing Dry January, some drink in moderation, some just drink. Some of us are sober, some of us are trying so very, very hard to be.
Some of us have been dry for days, weeks, months and some of us years...... some of us are just starting out and are scared of what stopping drinking means. It's not forever, it's just for today if that's what you want.
We have a saying on the Bus One Day At A Time. Or ODAAT
Take each moment, each day and each blip as it comes.
Although some Babes have been here a while and kind of 'know' each other, we all have different lives, different roles to play, different places to sit on the Bus, but we ALL have or have had abusive relationships with alcohol and we're here because we want that to change; for the better.
EVERYONE IS WELCOME HERE so don't be afraid to just jump right in and say hello. Post as much or as little as you like! It's all up to you.
For those who want to catch up - here is the PREVIOUS THREAD
And the first ever thread, with links to the others over the last almost 3 years! FIRST THREAD
9 days here too! Hope mouse is ok. It's amazing how much free time you have when not drinking. I'm actually getting quite organised! Bit boring though lol, I have to get my head round that one
Thank you east I'm trying to use the bus as much as possible at the moment,and just 'talking' about it and being answered has made me feel a little better.
Also I have a warm,cuddly 3 yr old in my lap. Hard to feel too bad especially as I'm bloody lucky to have him at all.
Not going to drink today but I am of your monstercat. I lost my lovely
massive tom cat last year and there is definitely a furry shaped hole in my heart iykwim!
babyjane love that comment from your DD!
green why is your DH encouraging you to drink? does he understand how hard it is and how much you want to do it? I think sometimes other drinkers feel guilty if you don't drink, it makes them question their own behaviour.
guggs I think being sober allows you to deal with your emotions properly, instead of just ignoring them. e.g. if you have been let down by someone you could try and think how to avoid the situation in the future. it is hard - it turns out that real life can be sad, difficult, boring! o hope that makes sense...
Monster cat is all alone. I am fretting
still waiting for the council to phone. have found more dead bugs inside DDs drawers. I don't have any real phobias - not fond of wasps, but I can deal with one without having hysterics. but one thing that does freak me out is swarms. e.g. ants nests. I have a horrified fascination for those birds (swallows?) you see teeming in their thousands. even people on the London underground if it's crowded.
the thought of nests of mites crawling everywhere makes me feel sick. thinking they have been all over my daughter and biting her for 4 MONTHS. I do want to drink and knock myself out, so I can stop dwelling on it - bit am not going to!
deep breaths. day 5
Gugg I am self employed I have experience a LOT of disappointments in the last year - bus goers may recall I lost some big pieces of work late last year - I cried a lot - (and didn't sink into the wine) did make me feel better and I definitely felt more able to cope and move on the next day without a hangover.
Joey No he doesn't know how hard it is or that I post on here or consider I have a problem - he has known me since my drinking became more and more moderated - (From 1 to 2 bottles per day to half a bottle) and never really saw the crazy bingeing me. I have always been an everyday drinker last few years 2-3 glasses of wine (well I got pregnant and stopped) then have only managed the odd day off which worries me also have had several crazy binges again last year which gave me frightening glimpses of my old life and ending up back there. - Help described it exactly - Depression, Anxiety, Excitement! So no he doesn't know the extent at all. He also drinks too much as far as units are concerned though he regularly has 3AF days per week which doesn't seem to bother him at all and is not what I'd class as a problem drinker. I think he just thinks I'll be miserable if I don't drink or not as much fun- friends have also been in touch saying I see you are doing dry January - shall we rearrange - funny how it makes people uncomfortable
yukky My eldest dd was, shall we say, a little 'slapdash' with hygiene when she lived at home, and once, when she was at her dads house, she had, as usual, shut her bedroom door. For some reason, I didn't go in there for a couple of days. I was coming home one day, when i glanced up at her window, and noticed it looked a bit black. I went up there and opened the door to literally a swarm of flies. It was disgusting. She'd left several apple cores in the room and somehow flies had severly multiplied on them. I have never felt so ill.. I had to call DH (who works for the police forensics) to come home with his special 'outfit' on to get rid of them. I know how you feel !!
gugg I think that's a new one for all of us, if I've had a good day I deserve wine, if I've had a bad day I deserve wine!! Have a wee walk with ds (if you can) clears your head or put on some music and have a boogie (may feel silly) but your ds will laugh so then will you and if all else fails have a shower and wash your troubles away then eat a crunchie with a coffee, any of the above should help x x x
green hmm yes, funny how US not drinking makes other people uncomfortable! actually I used to be the same if we had a meal and someone wasn't drinking I used to feel sorry for them/think they were boring etc
Day 6 of not drinking for me as had a couple of ciders on the 3rd. Going out on Saturday night for meal with dh & we've both decided not to drink, think dh had been influenced by the bus. Weighed myself this morning & lost 2 pounds! Took ds down to the beach again today and we built a big hill thing then I helped him do forward rolls. We were getting some funny looks from both dogs and their walkers!! I'm up for book club too. I normally love reading but lately can't seem to get into a book. Dh reads a lot of crime so I normally pinch his but loved A thousand spendid suns, Tully, The time travellers wife, harry potter and loved reading dd the magic far away tree series. x
Ps. Mouse, hope your getting on ok with hospital visit (( )) x
Thank you joey and green and east and baby
I'm really sad but I'm ok. I don't like dealing with emotions hence being an alcoholic, I suppose. I'm not going to drink tonight, I need some more ingredients for dinner but I know that if I go to the shop I will buy wine. So I'm not going.
east can I mind monstercat in the day please?
joey at least you have got to the heart of the problem and the little sods are dying (like flies). When the room is clear you could give it a new lick of paint,buy new bedcovers etc. A nice fresh start.
green i've had many conversations with dh about my drinking. He really didn't notice how bad it was. He doesn't really drink and it seems to him that everyone drinks a bit too much, so he didn't want to keep tabs on how much I got through. He does get it now and is really supportive but we've been having the same conversation for best part of a year.
Well done clutter on day 6.
I'm going to keep on posting until I feel better, apologies in advance.
Gugg No apologies - keep posting
Can I join - have been looking at this thread for ages - but waited until after xmas to join (typical). I had DD3 about 5 months ago and was glad to be able to have a few glasses of wine again when I gave birth. But as usual, got out of hand while wanting an evening post children going to bed - and I'm starting to feel unwell, tired all the time and just generally not coping well. Had my first night sober last night and felt dreadful this morning. Must be all the toxins leaving the body and just tired because obviously you don't sleep well post booze. Was due to go to the post natal exercise class - was this close to not going - but did and I'm glad I did. Then I went out with kids to soft play/breastfeeding group - and had a nice afternoon chatting to some new people I've not met before. Bit tired tonight - but starting to think of that glass of wine again... but want to break the cycle. I need to lose weight and stop drinking so I can start being energised for the kids and also for my own health.
Sorry -haven't read everyone's thread - but hoping I can jump on the bus for some encouragement to start being healthy...
Sorry clutter 1000 splendid suns the best book I ever read!!! guggen my dh also brushes off my drinking saying everyone these days drinks too much, he is very laid back about everything
taxmo you are telling my story exactly and that of many others here, I'm only on day 4 but the first day especially I felt super shit and exhausted, everyone on here wants to stop/reduce or is trying at this moment or has done it and we all help each other, do you think you can manage another night without wine? You can do lots of things to curb the cravings, your
In the place here babe x x x
hi tazmo welcome!
baby to be fair they have a point, loads of people do drink an awful lot. on the other hand they may know when to pack it in,unlike me.
Feeling a little bit better. Just sulking now. The ww has already fucked off and this time last week that would have been impossible. Not going to back down since if I manage tomorrow I will have made DOUBLE numbers!
Will grow up and stop sulking soon. It's my own fault,I need to find a job with a contract attached to it
Hi taxmo i haven't been here long - did hop on fro a bit a while back but lapsed.. As baby says - everyone pretty much knows how you're feeling. I'm on day 9 so far, and still feel a bit blerghhh to be honest. It does pass and, once I am up and about it's easier and quicker to get back on tracj with the day so to speak Evenings are a bugger though aren;t they? I have started drinking orange juice and suchlike from about 6 as realised I wasn't replacing the alcohol with anything. Important to do that I think.
OT - monstercat is fine.
welcome to "taxmo"
too many to name check but well done all those giving the ww a damn good kicking. indie you are rocking, babe.
Day 9 and working late tonight so wont be home until 10 then straight to bed, so tomorrow will be day 10!! double bloody figures - me!
I second the idea of a book club - I used to be very active on a website called bookcrossing (probably completely outed myself) where people would release books into the wild for others to find, or would just mail books to people who wanted them as a RABCK - Random Act of Book Crossing Kindness. We could combine the BattleBus with Bookcrossing - a sort of BabeCrossing
I'll have a rummage tomorrow and see what books I've got up for grabs and can mail to anyone who wants it on the condition you send it on to someone else once you are done. A book a day keeps the wine witch away.....
ooh, I'm in with the book club - i have hundreds I'm desperate to get other peope to read so i can talk to someone other then myself about them!!
Hopefully not have any vino tonight. Shamedly have asked DH to get some - though have a headache which is not going away with paracetamol!
Hope everyone doing ok. Will write more eventually but baby on knee and keeps pressing all the buttons.....my dam ipad got broke too so having to use laptop.
Welcome Taz... Im pretty new too... Its very friendly here!!
The witch is bugging me at moment... I have even brought a bottle in from outside and it is gently warming to room temp at mo... But i am determind to resist... Stupid thing to do I know... But!! I keep looking at the piece of paper in front of me saying " I WILL NOT DRINK WINE TONIGHT" ... So far its working... Think i will take the bottle back outside again... I already feel stronger just writing it down! Wierd!!
I am up for some babe crossing!
I still havent finished WolfHall and am now unlikelyto I confess. I just finished "When God was a Rabbit" and really liked that. Don't get much time toread for pleasure so any encouragement is good! I have loads of books I would be very happy to pass on.
Well really struggling again tonight for somereason. Maybe its the looming double figures or I am far enough away from feeling like shite to have that memory fade...but am going to remind myself of just how monumentally fucked up I feel when I have been drinking. OHAAT tonight Babes. Xx
MrD take the bottle outside or tip it away or run out into the street in your curlers and press itupon some random stranger! If you keep it there getting warm that would be waaay totempting for me. Sheer projection here of coirse but I would be getting it out ofsight and house.
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