Mumsnet Talk

When you agreed to separate or when you actually got divorced?

Thanks.

When I told him I was leaving I kept it and my engagement ring though because he wanted to keep the watch I'd bought him

Somewhere in the middle. Took it off full time when I started dating again after separating so about 9 months after we split up. Had taken the engagement ring off almost straight after separating. Don't think it matters really - is up to you.

I don't remember. I remember thinking I would need some symbolic moment to take it off, and then in the end I think I just took it off some random time on some random day not too long after we split, because there was obviously no reason for me to keep wearing it: it was over.

You'll know what the right time is for you. Go for the symbolic date if that's what you want, or just whenever the moment feels right for you.

I guess it feels right now. Just don't want to inflict more pain on H. Plus I can't actually get it off!! :-) Any tips welcome!

Soap? Anything oily, like moisturiser or even butter?

Can't believe it's not Butter did the trick. Feels weird. It's been on for over 14 years. Think I will put my engagement ring back on, it's a passed down family one.....

Sounds great, if the family heirloom brings you comfort.

I got over the "feels weird" feeling by buying myself a bunch of different lovely, colourful costume jewelry type rings that fit my ring finger.

Thanks Hot that's what I'll do!! Was looking at some lovely rings in M&S before Xmas :-)

I still wear my old engagement ring because I like it, not because of any sentimental association. The wedding ring is in my jewellery box and I think I took it off the day he walked out.

I took mine off 2 days after I kicked him out as it (the marriage) doesn't mean anything anymore.

I took both off the day I told him it was over. He also took his off... to throw across the room in anger.

It lived on the floor for about a week.

Took mine off the day I kicked him out. Still sitting with engagement and eternity ring somewhere in the house. Should sell them really as have no emotional attachment to them.

When STBExH confessed to an affair. Even though he maintained he wanted to save the relationship, I couldn't look at the rings as to me they symbolised love, commitment & fidelity. Not quite sure where they are tbh but have vowed 2013 is the year of decluttering so when I find them, what should I do with them?

FWIW, I keep meaning to ask my xh for his wedding ring so I can have all three made into a necklace or similar for our dds 18th - seems a shame to see gold and diamonds go to waste...

"when I find them, what should I do with them? "

Take them to a jewellers (not one of these Gold 4 U type sharks) and get a good price. Then use the money to buy something new that makes you happy

Just now, and I couldn't get them back on.

That's that then.

The day I told the cheating, lying twunt to leave forever. He took it with him 'for safe keeping' and I've never seen it again .

I can't remember exactly, but I think it was when I made the decision that I was going to file for divorce.

It took ages for the mark it left on my finger to disappear. It felt like part of a healing process.

The day I kicked him out. It was over and a very symbolic gesture...later sold platinum and diamond wedding ring for about 15% of its cost. The cheapskate never gave me an engagement ring!

About two years ago, but we are still married. I am not happy, but keep thinking I should give it another few months. Like some miracle will make everything okay.

Think I managed to leave it on for about 90 mins after he admitted the affair. I laid it on him as he lay on the couch guess he was in shock as I was and have remained really quite calm and dignified. Found it on bedside table think its in a pot and will pass it on. Guess it will not have same sentiment that I got from my Mum's if that makes sense

When I found out about his affair I confiscated his and threw mine at him .. It bounced back to me and I stuck it in my pocket along with his

I started wearing my first engagement ring on my wedding finger instead but after a fortnight switched that to my right hand as I was worried about people congratulating me on my engagement

Thanks for replies everyone. Un-Mumsnet hugs to you all. My DS has given me the ring from The Lord of the Rings Lego set, I've put it on a necklace :-) H hasn't noticed.....yet!!!