Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Hope on a Rope - J and J needs some support please.

(191 Posts)
lazarusb Wed 02-Jan-13 18:38:32

Hello everyone. J and J has PMed me and asked me to start this thread for her. She is going to try and check in soon. Unfortunately her dh is ill again, I don't know details but she appreciates all messages and support we can give her again. She is so grateful for all the support she received last year and is sorry she didn't make it back onto the thread before it filled up.

So, hope to see all your friendly faces back on here again soon!

lazarusb Sat 16-Mar-13 11:15:25

Don't tempt me Homebird! Dh is a keen amateur photographer (he's even won an award in the past!) and would LOVE to visit your neck of the woods...glad I'm not as dim as I thought - I was racking my brain trying to justify young boys getting involved in German wine making grin

Wet, cold and windy today. It's also the 16th anniversary of my Grandmother dying so I'm a bit sad. But, Dh, my Mum and I are off to see the Hairy Bikers this evening so that should be good fun. I've given myself a day off the books today as well, first one for a month.

Have a good weekend everyone, have fun dondon wink

Homebird8 Sat 16-Mar-13 19:36:17

Now then Lazarus, if there is one thing I am great at it is justification for all forms of unharmful enjoyment. My dad spent many a happy day hour here taking photos of all sorts. He's a mad keen bird watcher and having failed to indoctrinate me as a child now enthuses to his grandsons and takes endless photos (some in focus) of birds and landscapes. Notably there are very few pictures of the children but that's Dad all over. I can guarantee that your DH would find plenty to turn his photographic attentions to should you ever make it this way. The flights are expensive but it really is worth it though you may find yourselves never wanting to go home! If you really want to provide my sons with an aspiration to a German wine business then you might have a fight on your hands. There isn't much to beat the good old Kiwi vino. It makes a very captivating evening companion.

I'll be thinking of your sad anniversary. With some people it just doesn't get any easier does it? sad A day off and a trip out will revitalise you for the books too. All part of the journey. After my PhD I'm not sure I'm brave enough to do that level of study again. Well done you. smile

dondon33 Sat 16-Mar-13 21:15:12

Me? Doing? What can you possibly mean blush smile I'm currently 5 days past ov and NOT well trying not to symptom spot.

sad Sorry Lazarus it's always tough isn't it? but I hope you enjoyed your study break and night out.

Photography - pah, I can't take a good pic to save my bloody life - I'm the queen of chopping heads off smile

Homebird8 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:24:26

I have to say, some of DH's relatives are better in a photo with their heads chopped off.

I would apologise for embarrassing you Dondon if I weren't enjoying the promise of new life so much. thanks

dondon33 Sun 17-Mar-13 08:12:25

grin That made me lol.

No apology needed wink it would have to be something worse than that to embarrass me smile

lazarusb Sun 17-Mar-13 12:10:21

dondon -mm...that sounds like a challenge! wink

Thank you both for your kind thoughts. My Nan more or less brought me up so it's especially hard. She would have loved the Hairy Bikers and their cheeky sense of humour. They were very funny smile We had a lovely meal in a fantastic Italian restaurant too, run by an Italian family.

Dh is very much a landscape/wildlife photographer although he has recently developed a penchant for urban exploration & graffiti art. His website seems to veering very much in that direction. He even makes a bit of money now and again although he does a lot of writing for free! Maybe when I eventually get a job we'll head in your direction Homebird - I think I'd be very tempted not to come home! grin

Homebird8 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:32:11

Lazarus 'challenge' grin

lazarusb Wed 20-Mar-13 09:22:03

Hope everyone is well. A big yellow thing has been in the sky a bit for the last 2 days...not sure what it is. No warmer here though!

Ladies, I need some academic advice - my dissertation supervisor is only going to be on campus once a month...she has academic study leave next year. I found out on Monday. Is that ok do you think? I have no idea if e-mail contact during that time is going to be enough! Any thoughts gratefully received!

Homebird8 Wed 20-Mar-13 18:26:21

I managed to more or less do my PhD with no supervision. My Prof. (supervisor) used to hide behind filing cabinets when he saw me coming. [Grin] I only worked out why after a couple of years. At his previous uni he'd ended up marrying one of his students and she didn't like the idea of him supervising me. It had never come up before in engineering as all the other postgrads were male. I think I saw him to talk about my work about 3 times in 3 years and he wasn't much help then. It's a good job I'm the sort of person who goes her own way. It probably saved a lot of arguments, although he didn't like it when I wouldn't add his name to my academic papers! He'd had no involvement and I didn't see why I should. Oh, the arrogance of youth!

It's more important how you feel about it Lazarus. Do you have a lot of contact now? Will it make a lot of difference? Do you have a clear idea of how things should progress? Is there anyone else in the department who could give you some interim guidance?

lazarusb Wed 20-Mar-13 18:40:27

Thanks Homebird. I think your PhD story is quite funny grin No, I don't have a lot of contact now, I much prefer independent research and study. I still want to go ahead in this area, as it is I only have a fortnight now to find a new subject and get a supervisor if I decide to go elsewhere! I know exactly where I want it to go and how...perhaps the arrogance of middle age?! wink There are other people I could go to for support if she wasn't available for any reason, it's a big department. You've set my mind at rest so thanks again, I just wasn't sure how much contact was 'normal'. She seemed to think I'd be ok with it.

dondon, hope all is well and you aren't watching the calendar too much!

J and J - if you ever get time to catch up with thread, I hope all is well with you and your family. We are still thinking of you. I hope the Bar School plans are going well.

lazarusb Sun 24-Mar-13 10:31:55

Bumping thread as it fell off my 'I'm on' section! Hope everyone is having a nice weekend smile

Homebird8 Tue 26-Mar-13 08:43:21

Hey Dondon, well?!

Great weekend thanks Lazarus. DH started his new job on Monday after wandering round all weekend wondering why he was doing it. He's really going to miss spending time with the DSs every afternoon. I guess we'll work it out in the end but at the moment we're all living a bit one hour to the next whilst we work out the childcare, and the boys work out how many things they have to remember for school and after school activities.

AutumnDreams Tue 26-Mar-13 10:13:04

Hi everyone,

Yes, do keep this lovely thread going Laz. Oh, and don`t confuse arrogance with confidence. Confidence is good. Have faith in your own judgement, and you will know when you need to ask for guidance.

Thinking of Dondon. although I promise not to keep asking "are you"? .x.

lazarusb Tue 26-Mar-13 18:29:13

Thank you Autumn - I have confidence in fits and starts! Right now I just want to get to the end of term and sort out my revision timetable..I only have 3 clear weeks before my exams start and then there's 4 in the same week hmm Can't say I'm looking forward to that!

Homebird new routines take time but people fall into place soon enough when you get used to it. I understand how your dh will miss the time with your dcs. My time is much reduced with mine since starting Uni and will be even less when I do the Learning Practice Course in London sad But I keep reminding myself that they'll benefit from us being better off financially, considering holidays, more space in a bigger house etc...and I really value the time we do have together now even more than I did before.

Homebird8 Tue 26-Mar-13 23:36:21

Hi there Autumn always good when you can drop in.

It's J&J's thread but I think she'd be happy to feel that we're all there for each other. Whatever we're going through we'll find support and friends here.

lazarusb Mon 08-Apr-13 21:35:59

Just in case any of you pop in - I just wanted to say how nice it's been getting to know you all & thank you for your support. We've had some ups & downs! I feel like this thread has come to a bit of a halt however...

Would love to stay in contact with any of you. If you'd like to do so, PM me and I'll send you my RL e-mail address.

Take care, all of you...and thanks x smile

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now