I've been with my husband for many years and he has withdrawn from our relationship and become so passive about just about nearly everything that there is no spark or life to our relationship. The only times he shows spark or spirit is when he is over reacting with the children, or when other people are around. When it is just us, it is as if time has stood still. Things have been like this for a while and I have coped by distracting myself, but at Christmas when everyone is with their families it becomes so noticeable. At times I have had to leave the house and go to the supermarket just to leave the thick slow still atmosphere in the house. I long for lightness and brightness - I compensate for the atmosphere by watching really crass chick flick movies that I love for their innane humour and lack of depth! I can't bear anything heavy or dull because when I am away from him I crave excitement and action - usually achieved by drinking too much and behaving like a fool. I feel a bit like a fraud - we pretend to be a couple like all the others we know, yet there is nothing there and I drink too much to mask it. I usually am far happier and nicer person when he is away or not around. In fact I've hated him being at home in the holidays and wish he would return to work - it's like a black cloud looming over the house. He doesn't really seem to have any relationship with anyone - not his family or friends and my relationships don't feel real - there is something missing from them all as I mask my feelings about my relationship.
I've given up trying to get thru to him and choose to ignore him instead as he usually blows up if I try to say anything about his behaviour.
Should I leave him? We have two children and many financial commitments so it would be really hard.......
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Relationships
The passive husband
Misskittywhisker · 02/01/2013 01:09
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