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14yearold girl slept with 23yearild man

(166 Posts)
RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 21:21:29

This is not me!
I'm using different name, 14 year old girl-Jill
Man, jack

End if January I walked in and found jack ontop if Jill having sex, very disturbing.. these two people are well was really close to me. It's jills second time she lost her virginity at 13 but we found out a ciuple weeks after this happened.

Jills mum decided to ground her for two months and band her from seeing him for a couple if weeks until her 15th birthday.

Jill is my sister, my mum hasnt stopped her from seeing him he is around EVERY WEEKEND.

They lie on the sofa giving each other love bites, he sneakers upstairs at night until past 3am and he sets his alarm every morning at 6-7am to go upstairs .

I find it very weird but my mum is soft!! What shalld i di?

Fairylea Sun 30-Dec-12 21:51:33

If you are living at home with your mum in this situation then you need to ensure you are on excellent contraception for the time being to ensure that you do not become pregnant again until you can provide for yourself and your baby to live elsewhere. It's not a suitable environment for a baby. Or any child.

izzyizin Sun 30-Dec-12 21:51:49

What on earth makes you think your dm will 'get done'. Done for what?

LynetteScavo Sun 30-Dec-12 21:52:53

I think you need to make sure you have really good contraception in place.

It wouldn't be fair on you to have any more miscarriages, and if I'm really honest, a baby right now.

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 21:54:47

I lost my virginity at 17.6 with a boy i was with for a year Izzy so she isn't following in mine.

They havent had sex since then and my mum diesnt know about him sneaking around because i haven't told her.

Fairylea Sun 30-Dec-12 21:56:52

It doesn't matter that she doesn't know about him sneaking around - although you should tell her - it's bad enough that she's letting her daughter have a relationship with him full stop and stay over.

Selks Sun 30-Dec-12 21:57:08

Please phone the police. They will be keener to focus on the man who is abusing your sister, not your Mum. Unless there are other issues she will not lose her children and she may gain more support actually.

Please do it. You need to protect your sister. She is under the age of consent and this man is committing a crime.

You do need to do it - I'm afraid that if you do not report it to the police you are condoning it happening. Be brave - do the right thing.

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 21:57:31

Everyone I do not want a baby. I'm in cillege getting distinctions and im very ill and can barely move from my bed. I'm seeing if the doctors is open tomorrow to get contraception because im not fit enough and finacially stable for a baby.

cafebistro Sun 30-Dec-12 21:58:11

That's awful OP sad and such a lot to deal with at such a young age. As the other posters have said please get some reliable contraception for the time being as you really need to grieve your losses and also find out if there's an underlying reason for your miscarriages before conceiving again.
You also seem to have a stressful homelife and adding a baby into the mix might prove to be too much for you.

Maryz Sun 30-Dec-12 22:00:53

Why is he in the house? Is he a relative?

Your mum must know he is sleeping there. You need to tell her he is sneaking around, because you can't know that they haven't had sex since. In fact it's extremely unlikely they haven't.

I'm sorry for your loss sad. And I think you are wise to concentrate on your studies for now.

izzyizin Sun 30-Dec-12 22:00:54

You might not think she's following in you're footsteps, honey, but I'm guessing you may have got some extra attention when you announced your first pregnancy and, such is the way the minds of some 14yo girls work, your dsis may well have thought she wanted some of that.

If this man is sneaking around as you claim him to be, I don't see how you can say with any uncertainty that your dsis isn't continuing to have sex with him but, in any event, if you dm is unaware of what he/your dsis are getting up to while under her roof, I suggest you tell her asap.

Fairyegg Sun 30-Dec-12 22:02:28

How is your sisters behaviour / relationship with your mum generally? Ny history of sexual abuse? Perhaps your mum is thinking along the lines of at least she knows your sister is relatively safe if its happening under her roof? Perhaps to her that's better than the alternative of your sister going round his, his mates, parks etc where things are likely to get more out of control?

EleanorGiftbasket Sun 30-Dec-12 22:02:50

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Greensleeves Sun 30-Dec-12 22:04:56

I would call the police. You can do it anonymously if you prefer, but call them. This man is a bastard, and your sister, horrible or not, is too young to be in this position. And your mother needs a wake-up call.

I am so sorry to hear about the miscarriages.sad No wonder you are ill, your system must be completely knackered. Get some rest and look after yourself. And when you feel stronger, look at ways of moving out of that madhouse.

Booyhoo Sun 30-Dec-12 22:06:26

if he's sneaking up to her room during the night it isn't because he is cold! dont kid yourself that he hasn't raped her since!

call the police. there is a rapist sleeping on your mum's sofa!

tiredofwaitingforitalltochange Sun 30-Dec-12 22:07:25

izzy is right this is your mother's responsibility. She shouldn't be giving this creep house-room.

Glad you are focusing on college now OP. Get yourself some good contraception, maybe talk to your GP about something a bit longer term/reliable (eg depo injection). Don't put yourself through this again.

Focus on your studies, you have plenty of time to get your qualifications and then start a family.

So sorry about the loss of your son.

Pantofino Sun 30-Dec-12 22:10:30

I would call Social Services. Your idea of normality sounds seriously skewed - hence your mother is parenting none of you responsibly and sounds like she needs all the help she can get.

izzyizin Sun 30-Dec-12 22:14:49

Call the police, have this man removed and prosecuted On what charge, Eleanor?

You also seem to be overlooking the fact that, as any alleged offence is not taking place under the OP's roof, only her dsis's mother is in a position to make a complaint against this man - and more particuarly as her dsis is unlikely to do so.

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 22:19:44

Izzy she had sex before i did and before I found out i was expecting.

The man was my boyfriends best friend and jack and Jill met at my sons funeral.

My mums ex sexual abuse me my older and Jill when I was 10. Mum didnt know until we told he when i turned 14. Mum hasnt rung the police because she was scared that because its happened twice the kida will get taken away. The man who abused us only got put on the sex offenders.

Jill and ny mum used to be close until last year, Jill met some new friends and started geting drunk mum grounded her stopped her from staying at her friends and since then jill has been acting out.

It is my mums responsibilty, im going to talk to her about it when I see her. I just think she doesnt want to face reality.

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 22:22:52

They have eviendence izzy. Jill was caught by the police getting on the train to a place. Which is where the man lives. But Jill lied to them.

BeQuicksieorBeDead Sun 30-Dec-12 22:26:34

Sounds like a good idea to talk to your mum OP. I think she needs to deal with this before the situation gets any worse.

At 14 it seems like a great idea to have an older boyfriend, but imagine yourself at 23 deciding to start having sex with a 14 year old. It isn't a normal or healthy relationship and it is illegal, as other posters have pointed out. Someone needs to help your little sis make better decisions, or she is going to carry on down this road.

It sounds like you would all benefit from some counselling on what has gone on in the past, your mum must feel terrible about it but she does need to protect you all now and prevent these horrible events reoccuring.

Fairyegg Sun 30-Dec-12 22:26:56

Sounds like there are lots of issues going on here and your mum is trying to do what she thinks is right in a very complex situation. Is SOcial services involved with your family at all? Is your sister attending school? Would either your mum, yourself, your sister or a combination of all 3 of you feel happy to discuss your worries with your sisters form tutor / year head/ deputy head / head? Would your sister go to the gp or family planning with you to get contraception sorted?

Maryz Sun 30-Dec-12 22:27:36

Your boyfriends best friend shouldn't be sleeping on your mum's sofa (or in your sister's bed hmm).

Can your boyfriend warn him off? Doesn't he have his own phone.

If your mum doesn't report this and someone finds out she is more likely to lose the children than if she reports it herself.

Who was the other man your sister slept with? Was that also in your mum's house?

Because it sounds to me as though "Jill" might be better off away from your mum atm. Social services might be able to help her.

SirBoobAlot Sun 30-Dec-12 22:33:45

I think all three of you need help, tbh. The whole situation sounds desperately sad.

MrsSham Sun 30-Dec-12 22:35:27

Your user name seems a little odd, I find it a little bit chilling if I'm honest.

Your bf needs to get jack out the house and you need to call ss to get your mum the support she needs to protect her children.

RileyTheLittleMonster Sun 30-Dec-12 22:35:51

Social service were when she was caught by police at train station. She's in school doing very well.

My boyfriend has tryed to, but jack doesnt want anything to do with him. He only stayed that night because he was 'supporting' us through our mc.

The other man was 15 i think when she was 13 not in our house we onky found out because jack told us a couple weeks after.

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