I guess I've known I'm being used for years but today she really pissed me off & I felt like telling her where to go (I didn't, always trying to keep the peace).
Mum hasn't worked for 18mths and obviously things are tight money wise for her. I've helped out numerous times, even paid the rent for 3 months when she was faced with eviction. I've bought food for the house & whenever there is a cash 'emergency' guess who she calls on. She is in a better situation financially now, mainly since she quit smoking (40+ a day). She is a functioning alcoholic, although she will never admit this & has had long term depression bouts over the years. She always finds money for a bottle of vodka. I'm always a bit worried about upsetting her in case she goes into a depression again.
Anyway to the reason why she really got to me today, my brother lives in another part of the country (lucky. sod!!) and a couple of weeks ago she asked me to order some Xmas gifts for his kids online as she doesn't really know what she's doing with online shopping, not that she's ever tried mind you. So I duly ordered them & told her how much it came to and she said she would give me the money the following week when dad got paid. Following week came & went and no money.
Last weekend we went into town to do some Xmas shopping & she asked if I could lend her some money & she would pay me back this weekend. Again I handed it over. She always puts me in a position where I feel like I can't say no, like when she has a basket full of shopping & we're in the queue waiting.
Saw her today & she didn't mention the money she owed me. We were talking about Christmas & she asked me to pick something up for her when I'm out shopping tomorrow, so I said 'well you still owe me for the other presents'. She turned around & laughed with a hmmmm!!
I'm not hard up at all, but that's really not the point. She clearly thinks that I am her personal ATM & I know I am to blame for lending/giving money over the years. But I just don't know how to get out of this cycle. Anyone got any advice or experienced anything like this before??
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Feel like I'm always being used by my mother
18 replies
moveoverhogger · 16/12/2012 17:34
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