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Skyebluesapphire goes onwards and upwards

(1000 Posts)
imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Tue 11-Dec-12 18:56:56

New thread - link to my old thread for my own purposes.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1548615-How-do-you-eat-an-elephant-One-bite-at-a-time

Onwards and upwards..... through Christmas and beyond..

Skyebluesapphire Sun 10-Feb-13 18:11:59

I certainly won't be asking him to do anything for her again. This is the one thing that used to frustrate me so much about him. I would ask him to do something, that needed doing NOW and he would think about it for a week. So I think it's been done and he's forgotten...

Starting to get a bit depressed about Valentines Day.... It is just a bunch of commercial crap, but it has been so lovely, getting a card and flowers for the past ten years, and this year it will be nothing... and I can't help but wonder what he will get her.... Still, better to have nothing, than to have gifts like last year, that obviously meant nothing. and he texted her all day last year too.

Had a lovely night at my brother's last night with some friends. He cooked and we drank some wine and have a laugh about old times. It was good. and they compiled a list of eligible men for me hmm. None of which I thought suitable!

tribpot Sun 10-Feb-13 18:17:50

Very good to have high standards, skye! You don't want to be wasting your time smile And yes, better no flowers than pity-guilt flowers like last year, all wrapped up in active betrayal.

As to what he gets her - fuck knows what karma can come from a gift given to your best mate's wife who you are, at minimum, going out on dates with, kissing, and texting a gazillion times a day. Even your guilt flowers would be preferable to that little whirlpool of deceit.

Skyebluesapphire Sun 10-Feb-13 18:49:02

I just put this on Choco's thread, but then thought I just have to put it on my own too

The only interest I seem to be getting from online dating at the moment is from men in Wales who are looking for fun. Have they finally run out of sheep over there? grin

Xales Sun 10-Feb-13 18:49:31

You set yourself up for a fall there Skye.

What made you think he would be in the slightest any better than when you were married?

Skyebluesapphire Sun 10-Feb-13 19:11:53

I just didn't think did I.... I just thought it was on his doorstep, it was for his DD and he might actually want to do it for her... and he did actually use to be quite helpful at times when we were together...

However, he did also lose work and miss out on things because he didn't get back to people quick enough.

Had an email today from the company we used to buy ink cartridges from, he obviously forgot to change the address.. An email saying that his credit card was refused! For a £40 order....

Thank God I am no longer financially connected to him! His name is coming off the mortgage and deeds this month and it cant come quick enough now!

Xales Sun 10-Feb-13 19:15:52

Oh god I hope he takes OW out for a nice romantic dinner and his card is refused grin

She isn't going to want him when he has nothing to give her.

tribpot Sun 10-Feb-13 19:21:25

If he can't get £40 on credit it sounds like they'll be enjoying MaccyD's and a bottle of Blue Nun. Wot a shame.

I wonder if his helpfulness during the marriage was directly related to his expectations about how much of a superhero he would be allowed to feel once it was done.

Skyebluesapphire Sun 10-Feb-13 21:19:43

MaccyD's would be their idea of a dream date. She's an addict and he's not much better hmm

brianbennettfan Sun 10-Feb-13 22:50:26

The only interest I seem to be getting from online dating at the moment is from men in Wales who are looking for fun. Have they finally run out of sheep over there?

Maybe they've run out of wellies, skye. grin

CremeEggThief Mon 11-Feb-13 09:22:20

I was thinking earlier that it's much better to be single on Valentine's Day than with a lying, cheating, selfish wanker, who just keeps confirming your worst suspicions about them. This is what I will be reminding myself over and over again, anyway!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 11-Feb-13 11:29:26

Love is... Sharing a hug watching CBeebies with mini Skye who hasn't betrayed your trust or stomped on your heart.

Maccy D's and Blue Nun? more than those 2 deserve.

tribpot Mon 11-Feb-13 13:21:16

Buckfast and a Gregg's sausage roll? Or Findus horse lasagne?

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 11-Feb-13 13:24:40

Frozen lasagne by candlelight because he forgot to pay the leccy bill.

Skyebluesapphire Mon 11-Feb-13 13:46:40

I just wonder what excuse she will tell her H. No I can't go out with you tonight dear for our romantic candlelit meal because I have to go and see your friend. He needs some support on Valentines night, its the first one on his own isn't it, poor old chap.. No , no, you stay here. Don't wait up...

It's their wedding anniversary in a week too. I remember last year because XH went to a football match on his own because his best mate wasn't allowed to go because it was their anniversary. Then a fortnight later, when I didn't want XH to go to another match, he walked out.... I did point out then that his mate was only allowed to go if OW didnt have anything better to do! as he was making me out to be so unreasonable because i didnt want him to go! Of course, that plaintive bleating of " I never see my friends, actually translated to - I never see OW" thats the real reason that he wanted to go.... Twat.

Well, XH's idea of cooking himself a "proper meal" was scampi and potato wedges remember - as plastered all over facebook at the time. Wow, he knows how to spoil a lady doesn't he.

The most he ever cooked me was baked beans, or poached egg. Anything else was beyond him

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Mon 11-Feb-13 14:52:13

My Wed afternoon as a student was always free, the idea being we'd do sport. Maybe OW's college has a similar midweek or Thurs afternoon break from lectures so she could easily indulge in two Valentine celebrations. Who gives a stuff she might have another bf lined up by now!

Skyebluesapphire Thu 14-Feb-13 09:28:21

Trying to be positive today but struggling a bit. Just sat here crying but have to go to work so need to get a grip. Ignoring Facebook today as everybody will be posting stuff about their wonderful partners on it...

tribpot Thu 14-Feb-13 09:39:48

Well my Facebook doesn't look like that, skye! Someone's posted a pic of some nice earrings her husband's got her, but this is a couple who've been through the absolute wringer; she was diagnosed with cervical cancer 6 weeks after their wedding. She's now at the 5 year all clear and they've adopted a little girl, but the course of their marriage has certainly not been what we would have expected on their wedding day.

Valentine's Day is a day of love and friendship - and you have plenty of both. Lots of reasons to be cheerful today, as well as the understandable hurt.

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 14-Feb-13 09:41:24

Sorry you're upset Skye, first year of anniversaries and 'meaningful' dates is always hardest, natural to compare what went before. (As everyone's said, dspends on how genuine those gestures were at the time, but it still stings).

Skyebluesapphire Thu 14-Feb-13 09:49:00

I know that last year wasnt genuine.

My phone gets notified every time a friend posts and so far three people have gushed about the lovely flowers from hubby... So I'm not looking at it!

Last year, he came home with some flowers and dumped them on the sofa, I didnt say thanks because he didnt hand them directly to me. I was in the kitchen. I had left him a lovely card and posh bad of white chic in his lunch box.

The wording in his card had changed too from All my love, always, with loads of kisses, to just , love Twunt. I didnt pick up on it at the time though! Later found out he had been texting her half the day.

So being on my own has to be better than that doesn't it?.... It's just another day after all... But it just reminds me once again that I am on my own.

Oh well, at clients now so better do some work!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 14-Feb-13 09:51:59

Noticed at least one thread elsewhere about lack of effort on Valentie's Day so your pals might be extra lucky or their partners have guilty consciences.

tribpot Thu 14-Feb-13 09:58:54

If only it really had said 'love Twunt'. That would have been the most honest thing he'd ever have done!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 14-Feb-13 10:07:36

<Tries to type without errors this time>
Yes tribpot that would have summed it up neatly, or Love myself, Twunt.

Skyebluesapphire Thu 14-Feb-13 10:36:51

Posh bar of white choc!!!

DonkeysDontRideBicycles Thu 14-Feb-13 10:51:03

I was too frightened to ask! grin

If it makes you feel better. DD2 made a valentine card at school yesterday - she gave it to her teacher grin. The rest of the class gave them to their parents.

We don't do 'Clinton card' day anyway.

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