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Skyebluesapphire goes onwards and upwards

(1000 Posts)
imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Tue 11-Dec-12 18:56:56

New thread - link to my old thread for my own purposes.

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/1548615-How-do-you-eat-an-elephant-One-bite-at-a-time

Onwards and upwards..... through Christmas and beyond..

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Fri 14-Dec-12 09:56:30

MS was mistaken, I e asked several people and he was on his own.

Yes it was two tickets per family. I booked two and left him to sort his own out, my argument being that we are two seperate families now.... If the mean two per child they should say so :-)

There were loads of spaces at the afternoon one though, it was the evening one that they could have sold more for.

It upset several parents actually as they charged £1 a ticket but I thought it was a good idea to raise a bit of money ? A d loads if people bought two tickets and then took their other kids with them and sat them on their laps as they couldn't get anyone to look after them. Then other parents complained About that....

All this school politics is new to me lol.

wheredidiputchristmas Fri 14-Dec-12 10:10:41

The one thing to learn about school politics is what ever the school does 'those' parents will complain and it will always be the same parents.

Glad you enjoyed MS play.

cenicienta Fri 14-Dec-12 11:24:52

Hi Skye. Just wanted to say don't assume MS is lying. I think at this age there can be a bit of a blurr between what is real and what isn't. Especially after all the changes this year. MS now has 2 sets of people in her life who are important to her, I wouldn't be surprised if in her mind things get a bit mixed up.

Yes try to help her to sort out what is true from what isn't, but at this age it's probably more helpful to see it as "confusion" rather than lying.

Where I live they don't do "Christmas" so no nativities, no carols, no mince pies... trying to recreate our own in the house but I'd give anything to see my dcs in a nativity play, even if they were just the sheep like I always was smile

captainmummy Fri 14-Dec-12 13:07:08

I didn;'t think MS was' lying' - maybe she sees OW with her daddy so much that she 'expects' her to be there, somewhere, wherever daddy is?

It's a good idea to do more than 1 play, IMO; I used to look after a neighbours same-age dc so she could watch one, then she'd (theoretically) do the same for me and my youngest. (Didn't allways turn out like that tho - busy time of year, yes I know but a favour returned should take precidence over shopping, i think....not bitter, not me)

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Fri 14-Dec-12 13:08:13

<Pops head round door, checking to see if blackcurrants has been in>

Hi Skye, hope the weekend gets off to a good start. Is it MS's last Friday of term or is she in all week next week? My DD has to stay on school premises until noon next Friday, they'll all be hyper, (6th form secondary), goodness knows what the infants will be like!

cenicienta it must be tough not being able to sample all the Christmas hullabaloo but you're well out of some of it. Am sure you'll give your DCs a flavour of it, (only ever a narrator, no special costume so a sheep would have been bliss! envy smile.

I'm still here! Morning all. I, too want to hear more about the play, Skye - they don't 'do' nativity plays here either (USA) and I'd love to see DS in one!

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sat 15-Dec-12 00:39:11

The play was called Hey Ewe! It was all about a sheep who was curious or something?! It featured Mary and Joseph, Angels, Kings etc so traditional cast with a different story...

MS was "village people" . I resisted the urge to dress her as a camp biker or cowboy grin and did the old dressing gown with tea towel on head trick.

It lasted for around twenty minutes but was lovely. They sang lots of songs. Most of them with a calypso type theme.... MS's tea towel fell off halfway through so she shoved it up her dress....

Had a weird thing today. Had an email come through by mistake for his business, addressed to Twunt and OW..... WTF does she have to do with his business?! It really threw me to see both of their names there together in a business email.... The statements have been coming every couple of weeks, this is the first time that its not been addressed to just him....

I know it's none if my business now but it's doing my head in not knowing WTF is happening sad

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Sat 15-Dec-12 10:46:43

Hello laydeez

Your DD's play sounds like a modern twist on an old theme I hope you clapped lots smile.

What was OW's degree in, (don't have to say here), was it anything remotely to do with ex's work or business oriented? Maybe she has invested in it as a sleeping partner? (!).

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Sat 15-Dec-12 10:47:33

Hastily adds, NOT that it should concern you, ignore detach etc.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sat 15-Dec-12 12:52:25

She is training as a bio scientist and qualifies in June

If she has put money into his business then she is mental. She will never see that again! It really threw me, but it is none of my business now. It's just so weird to see it. And when I did all his paperwork it was always gone in his name , I didn't put my name to anything.

It can and will, all go tits up at some point.

I had a meal out with friends last night and one if them is a lawyer and she says that I have acted throughout this with a lot of dignity and that I should be proud of myself. She said that I was amazing and that she would have lost the plot if it were her. She said that I was really pretty and friendly and lovely and that I deserved somebody nice who will treat me better than the Twunt did.

She was also a bit drunk lol

Well they do say "in vino, veritas" don't they? I'm sure she was all the more truthful for being a bit tipsy. You really have been amazing!

Now, Sky, we talked last weekend about your sat-sun cycle of getting trollyed then having a really crappy depressed Sunday - what are you going to do differently this weekend so you don't find yourself so down?

Allalonenow Sat 15-Dec-12 13:14:42

Hello there Skye, so pleased that you are able to be so positive about things, everything that your lawyer friend says about you is spot on I think!

I bet MS enjoyed being in her play, I hope she told your Ex about her recent stage success at great length, he is missing out on so many wonderful things.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sat 15-Dec-12 13:49:49

I'm taking MS to a kids Christmas party tonight, proper old fashioned games and Father Christmas and tea. It's lovely and we go every year. then I'm going home to watch a good movie on Sky.

Tomorrow I'm going to work all day and stick to it as I've got so much to do , I have to crack on with it. Tomorrow night I need to wrap my presents and write the few cards that I'm going to send.

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Sat 15-Dec-12 14:05:45

You put me to shame Skye so much to do and can't get started today, no real plans except German market soon.

Your lawyer friend sounds lovely, it helps when you get a pat on the back.

Yeah, you're making me feel lazy too! We used to have a village Christmas Party where I grew up (v. rural) - party games and best dresses and crisps and cheese onna stick in a half-grapefruit, and then Father Christmas! It was wonderful and I hope you and mini-Skye have a wonderful, wonderful time!

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sat 15-Dec-12 14:49:03

This party is great! Proper old fashioned like when I was a kid. Very rural area, mostly farming families. It's lovely and MS's access with her dad has been arranged around it to make sure she could go.

It was the school Christmas Fayre last night and they have a "secrets" room. All the parents donate gifts and the kids go into the room on their own and choose a gift for £1 each for parents and grandparents etc.

My mum gave MS £2 and she has bought me and her dad a present each. She has bought her dad a diary she tells me.

tribpot Sat 15-Dec-12 14:51:05

Christ. I dread to think what the Twunt's diary would be like. The words 'poor me' written over and over on every page?

Glad you're enjoying yourself!

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sat 15-Dec-12 23:55:02

Lovely party tonight, pass the parcel, musical chairs, Okey Cokey, Musical bumps and statues,..... sausage rolls, fairy cakes, chocolate fingers, cheese & pineapple, Father Christmas, Balloons...

It was lovely and MS had a lovely time. As always, my emotions go from happiness at seeing her little face so lit up, to sadness as I remember how this event was always shared with her dad in the past, the tears well up, I take a deep breath.....

My friend came over at that point. She said that she was watching me across the room and she said she saw it go across my face, how it changed in an instant from happiness to despair..... I am very lucky to have some good friends who know me well.... I managed to keep a lid on it until i got home, then I was crying again.

Poor little MS said "Why are you crying NOW Mummy" which made me laugh, because I don't cry that much in front of her... I just told her that I wasn't feeling well because of my cold and that I was a bit sad. She said Dont be sad Mummy, I will make you better and rushed off to find her little doctors bag! So i cried a bit more!

I haven't written one card, wrapped one present, I know I have to crack on with it now, only 1 week left! I just don't want Christmas to happen really. I know that I have to be happy for MS's sake, and I will make it a special Christmas for her as always, but it saddens me so much, how we used to say how each Christmas would be better as she got older and now he is not around to share it with her and that is his choice... how could any man choose not to be with his child?!

I cant imagine, Skye. Glad you had a good party. And you never know when you might enjoy yourself this.Christmas, just with miniSkye. Dont give up on it!

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sun 16-Dec-12 18:37:17

Well, had a crap day. Sent MS off at 10am and went back to bed... I'm just wiped out with a cold and mild bug. So no work done again and more tears be ayes I just feel so low now that Christmas is nearly here.

Had cards today from his mum and brother , again both addressed just to me... I just find that odd because MS lives with me... I have texted XBIL to say that I'm not sending cards this year as my hearts not in it but I hope they have a good Christmas.

My MN Secret Santa gift arrived today, for MS so that has brightened my day. She will live the gifts .

AutumnNowBleakMidwinter Sun 16-Dec-12 18:45:45

Thinking of you Skye. I`m not in a good place myself, at the moment. Listening to all the Christmas songs, and thinking of Christmas`s past, but I`m forcing myself to go through the motions, as you will too.....x.

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Sun 16-Dec-12 18:54:14

Bound not to feel festive when you've been coming down with something, take it easy. Mini Skye must have had the time of her life at the party, glad you took her to it.

This first Christmas post-divorce was always likely to be tricky, such an emotional time this year. While MS is not in earshot or sight, you can let go. I think at heart you're a fighter and will recover your natural joie de vivre, get fit and well and as soon as you can, look ahead.

Keep posting, if you like write here 3 things each day that made you smile. I saw that suggested on another thread once, it might help make it 'til you make it.

DonkeysInTheStableAtMidnight Sun 16-Dec-12 18:55:38

AutumnNow sending you and Skye thanks to brighten your evening.

AutumnNowBleakMidwinter Sun 16-Dec-12 20:49:31

Thank you Donk.......Oh, I can`t call a Patricia Hodge lookee likee......Donkey!! Thanks anyway.

imdreamingofaskyebluechristmas Sun 16-Dec-12 21:35:44

Autumn sorry you are feeling sad. It's so hard at this time of year. I thought I would be ok, but after ten years of being with somebody at Christmas, it suddenly seems so hard to be on my own again, even though i have Mini Skye.

Donkeys thanks for the support as always...

I've had a stupid text argument with twunt tonight, as he texted something that made me feel like a bad mother, and saying that we should put on a united front for MS and be friends. So I just lost it and texted back and gave him what for as to exactly why I despise him and dont want to be friends with him because he hurt me too much.

He did actually text back that I wouldnt believe him, but he is struggling too, that everything is incredibly hard for him and that he has to live with it. that he knows that he did wrong and that he is not proud of anything that has happened. He says that he is full of remorse for whats happened.....

I just told him that he deserves to feel bad because he is a heartless shit.

So its still all poor me with him, although it is the first time that he has actually admitted that what he did was wrong.....

i told him not to contact me again unless it concerns arrangements for x.

I will make things good for Mini Skye at Christmas, and I will move on at some point. I just need to get a grip and accept that it is going to take time

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