i sort of know what i need to do but i need to vent.
Dcousin has been one of my best friends for the last 6/7 years. i've always tolerated her 'princess' attitude and being the older of the two of us, it's always been me helping her out with things (money, relationship problems, issues with her family) as opposed to her being my support. this was fine. she worked and repaid me any money i lent her and would help me out with babysitting as a way of thanking me for having her at my house so much.
recently things have changed. between july and oct she borrowed £185 from me in 3 different amounts. at the time i had no doubts that she actually needed the money otherwise i wouldn't have lent it. however i've had none of it back and tbh she doesn't get in touch anymore unless it was either to borrow money or if she had no other company. before i would have gotten in touch with her and kept the contact going but i've started to feel as if i'm being used and decided that i was no longer going to chase the contact, that if i was important to her as a friend she would be in touch. she didn't get in touch for about a month (a long time for us) and when she did it was because she had split up with her Boyfriend, i comforted her was there for her and she told me she would be coming home for a weekend visit because of it. another of my friends offered to babysit for me so that i could go out with Dcousin while she was home so i texted cousin saying this. dcousin didn't reply. then another friend (who doesn't know either of teh other two, so complete coincidence) texted saying her and her DH were going out on sat and did i want to come so i texted Dcousin again the day before the potential offer to babysit would happen asking if she wanted to go out and still got no reply. i waited til 10.30pm before texting friend 3 and saying that yes i would go out with her and her DH (friend 2 was still happy to babysit even though i was going out with a different person) so lunchtime the next day Dcousin texted asking if we were going out that night. i replied that i had made plans to go out with friend 3. she just replied "have fun" which if you knew her you would know is not what she was thinking. she hasn't been in touch. i think she's probably huffing. i'm not interested in chasing her. i'm done with being available for her all the time but not having the same back and being huffed with when i make other plans after her leaving me hanging for a response. in the back of my mind i think she might have been waiting to see which of her other friends were available for going out before committing to me. i feel like the friendship is probably ending, if it isn't already over.
the problem is do i ask her for the money back? i feel she will blow up and that will definitely be friendship gone for good with no chance of reconciling but i'm wondering if it's that much of a loss? also, i think in her head she doesn't think she has the money but she is out drinking, and i mean heavily drinking at least 3 times a week and is always posting pictures of it on Fb along with comments about her latest purchases that she is so happy with, each time i see it i think "why the hell haven't you given me back any of my money if you can afford all this?". i dont want her to be skint but even if she dropped one of those nights out a week for a couple of months she could have paid me back already. i know it's not up to me to say how she should live but it gets to me everytime i see that she is spending more money when she knows she owes me. she even bought flights for her other friend to come and visit her for her birthday.
so do i ask for it back? if so do i ask now, 2 weeks before xmas or do i wait til after january, i know it's always a tough month and i dont want her to be skint, but at the same time my account is sitting in overdraft.
i was also going to ask if you think i should get her a xmas present as normal but after posting all this out i dont think i should.
sorry for the length of this. i'm really just getting it all down on paper so to speak but any advcie would be appreciated.
and no i will never be lending money to anyone again. i am also going to have MUG tattooed on my head. i really trusted her to pay it back as soon as she could.
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this is horrible
19 replies
SantaIAmSoFuckingRock · 10/12/2012 22:30
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