Hello,
All the advice I had from you when deliberating about what to do when I found out about the emotional affairs XOH had been having was great and I'm hoping you'll have some wise words for me now.
I decided to ask X to leave and he has been gone for over a month now. I am sort of okay with the day to day stuff (the run up to christmas is testing though) and keep it together when it's just ds and me. However, when X collects ds and drops him off (3x a week) I just can't stop myself from crying. I still love him and it still hurts so much.
I think the thing that makes it worse is that he seems pretty happy with the situation, I think he wanted out and is relieved to have his old life and freedom back now. We went to get a christmas tree yesterday and I nearly broke down in the shop as it hurt so much knowing that we wouldn't be spending christmas together whilst he was laughing and joking about our shared christmas's together.
He is being quite supportive and financially he is being great (I realise it's early days though so not sure if this will last). I really wish I could stop being so weak, I try to remind myself of what it was like to live with someone I couldn't trust and I do acknowledge the positive changes but I think, deep down, I would have him back in a heartbeat if he asked me.
Please give me a kick up the bum or tell me that I'll get over this and things will get better.
Thank you.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Why can't I stop getting upset when seeing XOH
ItsOkayItsJustMyBreath · 10/12/2012 17:33
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