I think this must be my 3rd or 4th post here over a year or so about feeling lonely in my marriage. I feel like I am at my wits end, things pick up for a while then always fall back to the same pattern.
Basically I am a work widow. When my dh is not working he is out with mates. I work shifts and get 2 weekends off a month. Normally he is working the weekends I am off but he took this one off. Stupidly I thought that would mean some family time but no he went out at lunchtime Friday came back at 1am, got up at 7am yesterday for a game of golf and few drinks with pals which seen him return at 5am this morning drunk out his mind. From taxi receipts on the table I see over 48hrs he has spent £90 on taxis alone not to mention what he has spent on his 2 day bender. He slept all of today and i refused to hang around waiting on him so ds and I went out to his activities then had to go to my mothers prearranged birthday meal without him. I was mortified.
Since I got home he has laid on the couch not offered any help with dinner, homework getting the ironing done for ds school stuff nothing. Am so pissed off at feeling like a unpaid skivvey.
It's like the final straw for me. I get nothing from him no love, emotional support nothing. I am going through a hard time right now which he knows and could use some support and help. I feel like the sight of him makes me furious right now. Don't even know what I am trying to say or ask I just need to vent. Have been lonely for so long I just can't see a way to change it. This weekend has shown me that he sees me as nothing more than a doormat and I have allowed it to happen as I don't have the strength to fight it anymore. The saddest thing is I notice ds has stopped even asking if daddy will be home or seems to notice when he is not anymore.
I hate living in a home that is lonelier when he is here if that makes sense.
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Relationships
Have had enough
Broodymomma · 09/12/2012 17:33
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