Note: Mumsnetters don't necessarily have the qualifications or experience to offer relationships counselling or to provide help in cases of domestic violence. Mumsnet can't be held responsible for any advice given on the site. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

So I'm in love with my gay best friend

(48 Posts)
TakingBackMonday Wed 05-Dec-12 00:17:29

And it seems he is with me too.

And, awkwardly,his best mate who I've known almost as long (decade) seems to also quite love me and we went on one date...

SHIT

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Wed 05-Dec-12 00:30:03

have you chatted about this further, when you are both sober ?

TakingBackMonday Wed 05-Dec-12 00:33:45

Yes this is a bit Sean and Maria (corrie) we have laughed over this

I've given him 2 days to think about it. He's only getting more sure. Went doe dinner tonight, was shockingly unweird.

He doesn't have a bf. neither of us are shits

Charbon Wed 05-Dec-12 00:34:58

Have you ever found yourself in relationships OP that started just because the person liked you and you convinced yourself you liked him just as much back?

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Wed 05-Dec-12 00:35:52

I have to go to bed, now but you will update us, won't you ?

Both single.

You like men

he likes women and men, but not at the same time

you talk, you sort it out, you make sure you are both on the same page

job's a good'un

TakingBackMonday Wed 05-Dec-12 00:36:24

No. I live being single. But he is my best friend and maybe.. Weirdly.. Maybe..

Monty27 Wed 05-Dec-12 00:36:26

Sorry TBM I meant best friend not boyfriend (as in best mate).

As AF says, if you don't have a problem with his sexuality and you get out of it what makes you both happy then there shouldn't be a reason why not as far as I can see.

TakingBackMonday Wed 05-Dec-12 00:36:45

Okay x

TakingBackMonday Wed 05-Dec-12 00:38:24

Oh our mutual best mate is male. Just v v v surreal.

AnyFuckerForAMincePie Wed 05-Dec-12 00:39:33

Is this a stealth boasting thread ? < narrows eyes > wink

::runs to bed::

TakingBackMonday Wed 05-Dec-12 00:40:26

If only. Confusion thread.

Monty27 Wed 05-Dec-12 00:40:43

Ooo, I love a happy ending me, keep us posted smile

BalloonSlayer Wed 05-Dec-12 06:52:19

Thank goodness you corrected, I was thinking "darling wouldn't you me cocky" was some ghastly yoofspeak babytalk patois in the 'current vernacular' for asking for a shag.

Might borrow it actually

bumhead Wed 05-Dec-12 07:04:52

'A man who is bored of cock is bored of life' as the saying goes. Or something.

If this is real I don't see the problem.

Isabeller Wed 05-Dec-12 23:37:16

Aaah, early mistletoe?

I know I am nobody but I just wanted to tell you about two fab people I knew a long time ago long active in gay & lesbian campaigning respectively who got married & had a baby and are still together decades later and it makes me feel warm to think about them. And it was a bit surprising but also very wonderful and unconventional name changes and other good things came about.

Best of fuck and lestivity whatever you all decide smile

Isabeller Wed 05-Dec-12 23:37:35

luck and festivity wink

I'm going to against AF here & say NO, MY gbf & I have been friends for 20 years - he's my rock.

He is not & will never be my lover.

I thought he might be about 15 years ago - but that was just because I wanted a man who loved & understood me, I was having a foul time with men, he was safe & lovely & the only man I ever needed.

But he wasn't ever going to be THAT MAN.

& he is & always will be The Man - he'll always be there & I'll always be there for him for understanding, music, laughs & everything. ALWAYS.

But he's not The Man,

& never will be.

SolidGoldFrankensteinandmurgh Thu 06-Dec-12 01:42:30

Thing is, sexual orientation is not binary. It's a sliding scale, and most people are somewhere in the middle of it. It's just that social and cultural pressure (these days) demands that they pick a side and stick with it, as distinct from when the pressure was all towards heterosexuality.

SO you and your friend have a reasonable chance of having some fun together, and a relationship of some duration. And starting from a non-mundane viewpoint means it's more likely that the two of you will think and talk about what you are doing rather than making assumptions.
ANd if you have been friends for a long time, long enough to know each other's faults as well as each other's good points, and there is mutual respect as well as pleasure and a degree of sexual attraction, then you are in a pretty good starting position for a relationship that, even if it doesn't last a long time, is mutually enjoyable and ends without too much bad feeling.

It sounds like you've got very little to lose if you at least give it a try. Good luck and have fun.

Ooh, OP, get yerself a bi man, they're great in bed.

Erm, I've heard. blush

I think this has 'festive happy ending' written all over it. G'wan, snog him! grin

TakingBackMonday Thu 13-Dec-12 02:39:19

Update for AF:

Really bloody amazing
We told people to very mixed reactions tonight. We just don't care.

He's meeting my father tomorrow, I'm meeting his parents next weekend

YAY

TakingBackMonday Thu 13-Dec-12 02:41:44

And yes he is definitely not gay. Bi perhaps; I've set a 3,month sex ban to be sure I won't lose my best mate for a fling, but he us definitely not gay!!!

swooosh Thu 13-Dec-12 03:40:01

This is lovely! Hope it works out for you both

TakingBackMonday Thu 13-Dec-12 03:41:16

Me too

YAY! that's awesome! I had hoped for a happy ending I married mine and it's going great grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now