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Porn and lies

(136 Posts)
sickofporn Wed 28-Nov-12 16:28:37

I wonder if anyone can advise me on how to block porn from my home computers and husband's phone. DH has told me he is going to stop (again) but I want to make sure it can no longer be accessed in my home should he relapse. I have no sex life while DH seems prefers to prefer a wank over disgusting images. I have to protect my DCs and save my marriage sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Fri 30-Nov-12 12:19:42

We have better things to do with our time. smile Maybe that's it? Some men have too much down-time.... devils and idle hands and all that....

badinage Fri 30-Nov-12 12:25:14

In my own experience, I've never met a woman who disapproves of men masturbating. Or a man who minds women doing it.

I have met women and men who disapprove of using porn involving real people to do it and who think it's unimaginative and unethical.

Suppose I just wanted to point out that this thread is about masturbating to porn at the expense of a sex life - not masturbation itself.

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Fri 30-Nov-12 12:26:20

I've met a few women who disapprove of masturbation actually... hmm

ATourchOfInsanity Fri 30-Nov-12 12:28:10

Yes, OP challenge DH as to how he finds the time.
Perhaps he could become a keen sprout peeler and tailer before Xmas smile
An ex once told me that to stop an erection/coming too soon, he used to think of Maggie Thatcher chopping carrots. Maybe doing the actual carrots will douse his desire and take away the time wanked away?

OneMoreChap Fri 30-Nov-12 12:59:16

No, not all men look at porn (me, I tend to read erotica, I'm, told)
No, most men wouldn't prefer to masturbate rather than have sex - many would do both.

Yes, some women do disapprove of masturbation, and think it disgusting.

Yes, sometimes your partner just doesn't want to have sex with you - whether that's because you have a porn habit, you're too demanding, you offer sex as a tip for good behaviour... you have no right to expect sex.

You have to deal with your relationship - and if you're unhappy with it - leave.

Apocalypto Fri 30-Nov-12 14:08:53

images of men shagging simply don't have the same appeal as an actual relationship and sex with someone you love.

When a bloke wanks over porn, he is having sex with someone he loves.

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Fri 30-Nov-12 14:11:26

'loves' really?..... Porn users invest actual love and affection in the images before them? hmm

Apocalypto Fri 30-Nov-12 14:24:14

Who's talking about the images?

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Fri 30-Nov-12 14:27:21

Ohhhhhh......... <dead thick & slaps self on forehead blaming it on Friday emoticon>...... LOL!

CogitOCrapNotMoreSprouts Fri 30-Nov-12 14:29:41

For a minute there I thought you were going to tell me someone had put a wanker through a CAT scanner and discovered the areas of the brain activated by erotic images and vigorous masturbation were the same as the ones for being 'in love'! (Doctorate thesis going begging there...)

Apocalypto Fri 30-Nov-12 14:40:24

LOL!!

We laugh but in some cases you may be onto something there. If there were such a thing as porn featuring their own wives or girlfriends, made for them only and featuring nobody else (technology will find a way), I reckon most men would love love love it.

At that point it would not strictly speaking be porn of course.

It might very well light up the same areas as the lurve bug though.

sickofporn Fri 30-Nov-12 17:25:35

Onemorechap - as I said upthread if we never have sex again for a real reason such as his health I would live with that but I can't accept the reason I am not getting any is because of porn. And I don't think I have a right to expect sex. I do however think I have a right to honesty, a right to fidelity and a right to respect and consideration.

sickofporn Fri 30-Nov-12 17:28:28

Would love to read a thread by a man who can't get a look in 'cos his wife was always at The Dreamboys club with work colleagues, reading 50 shades at home with her rabbit while he does food shopping and hiding her online stash of Big Cocks whenever he walked into the room and pretending she was doing 'research' for work.

I would love to see a thread like this too! I wonder what sort of replies it would get?

ecclesvet Fri 30-Nov-12 19:30:04

There have been lots of threads where husbands have asked what they can do now they no longer have a sex life for whatever reason. They've usually been told that they have no right to sex, that no one has to have sex if they don't want to, to make more of an effort to reignite the spark, etc.

It's a bit rich that you think you have a right to respect, but you've asked for advice on how to set up filters on your husband's phone and computer. Where is his right to respect? Why does your right trump his?

Apocalypto Fri 30-Nov-12 19:32:04

Would love to read a thread by a man who can't get a look in 'cos his wife was always at The Dreamboys club

I would think there are plenty of sexually neglected husbands out there. What they're neglected in favour of is neither here nor there surely.

badinage Fri 30-Nov-12 20:12:05

Of course it matters why.

If it's because someone is getting their sex kicks elsewhere either through porn or someone else, it's a bit different to a low libido, an illness, exhaustion or some other reason.

sickofporn Fri 30-Nov-12 20:13:23

What badinage said. Thank you.

sickofporn Fri 30-Nov-12 20:15:24

It's a bit rich that you think you have a right to respect hmm

badinage Fri 30-Nov-12 20:22:14

There seem to be a lot of people on here who will excuse atrocious behaviour as long as a man's doing it.

Just don't fall into that trap yourself, just because you can't bring yourself to give him up.

ATourchOfInsanity Fri 30-Nov-12 20:25:27

So eccles thinks you need to woo him back for real sex
(imagines porn mags in your suspenders with him reading while you have to straddle and ride him as he flicks through mag) which might work, or the traditional candle lit dinner, which I imagine your DH would eat before going to his local PC...

Apoc seems to think the situation cannot be turned into an amusing parody for light hearted relief. No pun intended.

No hope for it OP.
Leave the bastard.

ecclesvet Fri 30-Nov-12 21:04:47

Not sure why you're hmm-ing that, OP: it's rich to talk about his lack of respect whilst simultaneously asking how you can install filters on his phone.

ATouch: no, I don't. I'm simply saying the kind of advice husbands got on similar threads, which the OP asked for.

ATourchOfInsanity Fri 30-Nov-12 21:18:16

So there are threads where the woman is porn obsessed for sex and ignores the man?
I missed them!

ATourchOfInsanity Fri 30-Nov-12 21:20:42

Point is eccles that OP deserves the basic respect of not having to compete with her husbands sexual attention. If he had respect for her he would at least try to stop. If she wasn't desperate she wouldn't feel the need to do it. No one on the thread has told her it is a good thing to do and I don't think she is now intending to do it.
Which just leaves him actually disrespecting her. Again and again.

AnyFuckingDude Fri 30-Nov-12 21:42:08

eccles has a bit of a history of telling women to eat shit, and suck it up

perhaps a spa day for Op will be in order, as payback, if she shuts the fuck up

ecclesvet Fri 30-Nov-12 21:43:19

I don't think that by watching porn he is disrespecting her. I think it is an irrational request that all but sets him up for failure. But I suppose people can choose their own dealbreakers, as odd as they may seem.

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