Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

AIBU to feel pissed off with BF

(61 Posts)
VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 22:49:23

We have been seeing each other 4 weeks.

We were chatting online tonight and he just logged of abruptly saying he had an early start.

(No earlier than normal, and normally he says it doesn't matter as he loves chatting to me). We are meant to be meeting tomorrow and he didn't mention it or confirm arrangements I am feeling used and mightily pissed off with him. I feel like telling him to go F*ck himself and ending it.

I called him and no reply. No answer to text either.

AIBU (or over reacting?)

MrsFlibble Tue 27-Nov-12 21:54:22

VeryComplex, dont over analyse things, coz it'll just drive you crazy, i did many times and im learning just to shut up and stop it, its much better that way.

MummysHappyPills Tue 27-Nov-12 21:43:32

And fwiw last night I fell asleep on the sofa about 9pm, and when dp tried to get me upstairs to bed I was babbling incoherently so I can kind of empathise with being that tired!

MummysHappyPills Tue 27-Nov-12 21:41:58

So all is good then! Please stop worrying. It is early days, don't try and force it. If it is meant to be it will work out. Just relax and enjoy! grin

VeryComplex Tue 27-Nov-12 19:13:42

Clipped - we've been out 7 or 8 times.
Skies - thanks for asking, am feeling less despondent!
Curious - thanks for your concern.

We met up today. His explanation for last night was that he suddenly got really tired and when that happens he just 'hits a brick wall' and needs to sleep. He said phone was on silent last night. He acknowledged I was feeling upset about it and said sorry.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 27-Nov-12 16:05:37

Sorry, I totally misread all that didn't I blush

You met at work - how many times have you seen him?

I'd say he's cooled right off and my NEXT still stands though.

ClippedPhoenix Tue 27-Nov-12 16:02:20

Yes OP what he did was rude.

He loves you and you haven't met?

He's leading you right up the garden path.

I wouldn't wait around here...... I'd be thinking NEXT.

And would have learned not to do all this squillions of contact from a dating site.

skiesmylimit Tue 27-Nov-12 15:12:22

How are you today?

CuriousMama Tue 27-Nov-12 00:14:05

Wait and see. I hope you sleep ok? Am off now night chick.

VeryComplex Tue 27-Nov-12 00:08:33

Curious - no too soon, although I work with a mutual friend also.

It is hard when they 'go cool' - which is exactly how it feels :-(

I just feel in heart this is beginning of end.

CuriousMama Tue 27-Nov-12 00:06:26

Oh well good luck to you. It's all so intense though isn't it? I've been there done that and hate it when they go cool all of a sudden. Hopefully for you this isn't the case and he has a good reason? Perhaps his internet went down? And then he dropped his phone in the bath? wink

Have you met any of his friends/family yet? Or is it too soon?

VeryComplex Tue 27-Nov-12 00:03:39

Glad some of you agree it was rude. And yes it was out of character.

He knows re feelings - yes.

Met at work. Not known to friends.

CuriousMama Tue 27-Nov-12 00:01:50

Interesting you say you're developing feelings now. Does he sense this? I hope he isn't a player? How did you meet? Is he known to you or your friends?

Of course he could have a very valid reason for being rude? Which I actually think it is to log off like that when he doesn't normally.

Helltotheno Mon 26-Nov-12 23:51:57

I think if you feel how he acted was very out of character and has left you feeling a bit unsure about things, that is a valid feeling. And yes if you were supposed to be meeting, him not tying an arrangement down is a bit off.

In saying that, just wait and see. Hopefully it's nothing and he'll have an explanation. If it was something and things don't work out, well there's better out there for you don't fret.
... and don't call him tomorrow or text! The ball's in his court...

allchangeplease Mon 26-Nov-12 23:44:52

FGS the bloke probably went to the bathroom within these 5min if he was heading for bed, and could have turned off the phone prior to that!

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:35:22

Fenella - thing is - drama is probably in my head!
I've been pretty 'cool' until now. Now I am actually developing some feelings, I find it harder.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:33:46

Bertie - I'll give benefit of doubt that phone may have been on silent. If not I would be pretty unhappy to be ignored 5 mins after logging off - in order to confirm details for tomorrow - yes!

allchangeplease Mon 26-Nov-12 23:33:03

maybe he wasn't enjoying the subject you were discussing?
it's really far to eaarly to jump to bad conclusions! Everyone is alowed to be tired on SOME days even if it's not the norm for them.

MissFenella Mon 26-Nov-12 23:32:57

I don't think she has been OTT in any way. But all this drama 4 weeks in? It's not worth the effort.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:32:21

Bertie - your 2nd description of events closer to mark. Hopefully call not too OTT - at least I didn't leave voicemail too!!

BertieBotts Mon 26-Nov-12 23:31:29

I also agree it's a bit odd now that I realise you were supposed to be meeting up and he's totally blanked you on that count.

Perhaps he genuinely forgot, although that doesn't explain why he then ignored the text and phone call, although phone could have been on silent.

I expect you'll get your answer tomorrow though either way, but don't take it personally - it's his problem wink

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:31:05

Miss Fenalla - I am who I am. If he doesn't like it then he's not for me.

I clearly need the pink hearts and flowers (which until tonight have been forthcoming). Sudden coolness makes me anxious yes, and yes it is telling. Either he can accept who I am and give me what I need or not. If not...I'll end it.

BertieBotts Mon 26-Nov-12 23:29:49

IYSWIM - the OP sounded as though it had been

New man signs off unexpectedly
OP panics and sends stalky text message asking if things are okay/where have you gone etc AND tries to call.

But actual situation sounds more like

OP and new man agree to meet up vaguely on X day
OP and new man talk online the night before
New man logs off suddenly without sorting meeting details, OP doesn't get a chance to ask
OP texts NM asking about meeting (and, call was prob unnecessary but not that much of a big deal if only once)

First sounds way OTT. Second sounds fine.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:27:25

Pictish - thank you :-) I will not call text or anything else! I am annoyed I went OTT but just thrown off balance by the sudden exit.

MissFenella Mon 26-Nov-12 23:27:10

If he really liked YOU then he wouldn't be put off by your behaviour - as that is part and parcel of who you are. He also would have responded to you. people who like you don't ignore you no matter how eager beaver you are.

Its early days, it should be easy, eager to please, love n hugs & pink hearts.

If you are anxious and annoyed that is telling, if he is non responsive that is all you need to know.

BertieBotts Mon 26-Nov-12 23:27:03

Also agree the text sounds fine. I think it was the use of "arrangements" in the OP that threw me. You do need to know where you're meeting someone!

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now