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AIBU to feel pissed off with BF

(61 Posts)
VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 22:49:23

We have been seeing each other 4 weeks.

We were chatting online tonight and he just logged of abruptly saying he had an early start.

(No earlier than normal, and normally he says it doesn't matter as he loves chatting to me). We are meant to be meeting tomorrow and he didn't mention it or confirm arrangements I am feeling used and mightily pissed off with him. I feel like telling him to go F*ck himself and ending it.

I called him and no reply. No answer to text either.

AIBU (or over reacting?)

BertieBotts Mon 26-Nov-12 22:51:09

Erm, yes you're overreacting. He was probably tired.

If he's stand-offish tomorrow then I'd think more into it but if it's a one off, no. And I'd assume the arrangements you've made are still valid unless he's said otherwise smile

HotDAMNlifeisgood Mon 26-Nov-12 22:51:43

I think the call and text after he signed off are over-reacting and needy.

Not enough info in your post to tell whether he is a twat and you are being used in general.

mcmooncup Mon 26-Nov-12 22:53:01

Sounds a bit weird.
I' d be inclined not to text, phone, web chat or mention tomorrow until/unless he contacts you.
He'll reveal himself then.........but listen carefully to how he explains his sharp exit.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 22:53:57

Hmm. Just odd because he usually talks later and when I protest it;s late he says it doesn't matter. Just a change from usual routine and no proper 'goodnight' either. Just feel a bit upset and vulnerable.

mcmooncup Mon 26-Nov-12 22:54:12

Oh. You already texted. And phoned. hmm

BertieBotts Mon 26-Nov-12 22:54:14

Text/call might be to do with tiredness as well - if he's wanting to focus on his early start he might have put his phone on silent, I sometimes do this as XMIL has an irritating habit of texting at 7am and ruining my last half hour of sleep.

With online contact it's hard to read tone into things so assume the best and don't keep badgering him or you'll look insane. If he's keeping you hanging on by only using online contact or he's the same with other types of communication as well then I'd worry, but if it's just online - you're probably reading too much into it.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 22:54:44

Yeah don't worry I'm not contacting him tomorrow unless he contacts me!

You sound like a needy, immature teenager.

Maybe that's why he hasn't replied.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 22:55:53

Early start is no earlier than normal, thats why I think he;s being a twat.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 22:57:06

Thanks Bunny - a healthy dose of perspective there!

pictish Mon 26-Nov-12 22:58:05

Urk...chill out.
If he's still cold and abrupt in the flesh then there's your answer...but ending an online message quickly could be for any number of reasons.

TalesFromTheCryptoFascist Mon 26-Nov-12 22:58:57

I think you're being a bit ott. You've been seeing him 4 weeks and you want to punish him for going to bed! Poor bloke. I hope you calm down or he's in for a rocky time with you!

akaemmafrost Mon 26-Nov-12 23:00:03

4 weeks!? You sound a bit nuts.

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:00:38

Thanks guys. I guess I am over reacting a bit then. It's just a departure from normal behaviour (which felt a bit hurtful) that's all.

BertieBotts Mon 26-Nov-12 23:01:57

But it might be that tomorrow there's a really important thing happening at work or whatever that he REALLY doesn't want to be late/tired/etc for.

Or he just felt tired tonight and couldn't be bothered with the lingering goodbyes of "usual" (after 4 weeks? Okay)

Or something else is stressing him out and he was a bit distracted.

Or his internet cut out and it was being a pain and he decided to go to bed rather than fix it.

Give the guy some space and don't assume he's a twat or feel so rejected about it - it's the INTERNET, it doesn't have the same etiquette as real life and different people place different importance on it. <blush remembers argument had with DP about "love u" versus "I love you" over msn and meanings thereof>

If you're actually feeling vulnerable and upset because someone you've been talking to for FOUR weeks forgot to say "goodnight" then maybe dating isn't a great idea, though.

TalesFromTheCryptoFascist Mon 26-Nov-12 23:03:24

Ah you'll be ok. Better to spill all the crazy on MN then on him. This is the trouble with online or text chat, hard to sound they way you want to come across without tone of voice!

TalesFromTheCryptoFascist Mon 26-Nov-12 23:03:51

*than, not then!!!

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:04:10

I hear what you say Bertie. Just felt a bit odd and stand-offish when he is normally so effusive with the 'i love you' / 'i miss you' routine.

We are seeing each other tomorrow afternoon and haven't yet sorted out time /place etc - I thought / assumed that would be sorted tonight!

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:04:58

Tales - thanks :-) Yay for MN!

MissFenella Mon 26-Nov-12 23:05:45

If he is pissing you off in 4 weeks then why bother pursuing the relationship at all, he's not giving you what you want.

NishiNoUsagi Mon 26-Nov-12 23:06:09

Well, I can understand you feeling a bit off if it's not how he usually ends the conversation, but like others have said above see how he is tomorrow. He might have had to say a rushed goodbye and leg it to the toilet for a massive poo grin Not worth losing sleep over!

VeryComplex Mon 26-Nov-12 23:07:52

Valid point MissFenella - time will tell I guess.

I suppose I find it wearing when the first flush of talking all hours ends and reality kicks in.

Yes I know I am being silly and immature to feel hurt by that.

Shoot me now!

MummysHappyPills Mon 26-Nov-12 23:10:41

You are saying the L word after 4 weeks!? shock

mammadiggingdeep Mon 26-Nov-12 23:10:42

Another one here that thinks you've over reacted!!!

I'm not one for game playing but at 4 weeks isn't it usual to 'play it cool' a tinsy bit? So he's had a phonecall and a text from u AFTER he's told you he's going to bed?! What did the text say?!

Also, again maybe this is just me but isn't 4 weeks VERY early to say I love you? Do you really know someone after 4 weeks?

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