I will try not to write an essay about my childhood, just the basic facts. My mum left me and my dad when I was 4. I don't really remember anything about the break up, and it wasn't discussed. I know she did move in with another partner. My dad raised me alone and I had no contact with her whatsover.
She contacted me when I was 16, I met up with her for one afternoon, and we visited my nana. I then didn't see her again until I was 20, she was engaged and wanted me to meet her fiance. We then sporadically had contact for about 18 months, I went to her wedding, she went to mine, we saw each other a lot in the middle of those as nana had cancer and eventually died.
After the wedding I rang several times, left messages, and posted a copy of a lovely photo of the 2 of us at my wedding. She never replied so I gave up. Being ignored by her was nothing new. I was 21.
At 22 I had my eldest dd, I was very ill, we both nearly died, and as she was born at 30 weeks this added to the stress. I was very angry that I didn't have a mum to support me, it kind of hit home once I became a mother myself how rejected I felt.
I suffered PND quite badly, had ds1 at 23 and then was crippled by PND. Finally got better, had dd2 at 25, and ds2 at 27. Just after ds2 was born, ds1 was diagnosed with high functioning autism. I have had several bouts of depression and anxiety problems. Ds2 has had a severe speech delay and has needed a lot of help, he and dd2 are currently being assessed for autism.
Basically the last 10 years (dd1 is now 10, youngest ds2 is 5) has been a whirlwind. A very stressful one, and had it not been for dh I don't think I could have coped.
On facebook last week (yes the dreaded FB, I know, I know) I saw a photo of my cousin's son's birthday, my mother was there, pics of her hugging her great nieces and nephews being the fab great Aunt. It was my ds2s birthday the mext day. It stung like you wouldn't believe and I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all week.
I couldn't sleep last night and (foolishly) sent quite a bitter message to her via FB last night. She's not on my friends list but I could message her.
She has just replied with this
^Hello,
I have waited a long time to hear from you and despite your words I am pleased to hear from you. I feel that we have much to discuss and should meet as I do not think that you are fully aware of events many years ago and frankly, I am tired of being held responsible for everything that went wrong.
I have to go to Wales as it is my father in law's funeral today, but I did not want you to think that I will not reply. I will write more fully when I get back later today, in the meantime.....xxxxx^
I feel sick, shaky and confused. What should I say/do?
I feel so resentful towards her, and rejected by her. A lot of my insecurities and depression are down to this. Should I just move on, or find out what she has to say?
Or any other advice. Please.
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
I'm feeling shakey and tearful and need some perspective-Mum.
HeadfirstForAMistletoeKiss · 26/11/2012 11:41
Don’t want to miss threads like this?
Weekly
Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!
Log in to update your newsletter preferences.
You've subscribed!
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.