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I think I need to end my relationship.. But how?

(31 Posts)
DeathCab Sat 24-Nov-12 10:12:01

I posted a few weeks ago asking if it was possible to fall in love again. After being given some great advice I tried and tried but my feelings towards leaving the relationship are getting stronger.

I may have changed some details in previous thread as I didn't want to be "outed" but I don't care anymore.

We have been together for 5 and a half years, have a DD who is almost 1.

For a while now I have been doubting whether I am carrying on with the relationship for all the wrong reasons. I didn't want DD to be brought up in a broken family, I was and It has definitely had an affect on me.
Also know that if we did split I wouldn't see DD every day and the thought kills me. She is my whole life.

We also have a loan and credit card that we pay off jointly. It isn't going to be easy leaving but I don't feel like I can carry on anymore.

I feel like I love him as a brother/best friend and I do not want to have sex anymore. He isn't happy about this which obviously I don't blame him for.
He tells me he loves me and he still fancies me etc.

I really don't want to hurt him. I do love him but I'm not "in love" anymore.

I don't know what to do.. He knows there is a problem, we've had the talk so many times and agreed to try but I don't know if I have any try left in me.

I don't really know what I'm asking but I just needed to let it out. I feel like I'm ripping my whole family apart.
Should I just stay for the sake of DD?

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 24-Nov-12 11:27:01

I see how much fun they are having and I wonder if I'm missing out. I suppose to a certain extent I feel like my life is over at 25.

The old 'grass is greener' syndrome.

You know, there is nothing to stop you having fun and a life outside of the home you know smile. It is so easy to get very disaffected when you have small children. So let me put this to you - hypothetically, you leave your DH, in your own words your life revolves round your daughter and you can't bear to be apart - how are you going to have this exciting life that you feel is passing you by at the moment?

I often find peoples solutions to problems on this forum are expensive ones - have a spa weekend/get a cleaner etc when infact it's much simpler.

You and your DH have stopped communicating. Sod the house work today... bugger the weather is cold .... unplug the PC, unplug the xbox .... wrap up and go and feed the ducks..... go down to the sea front and share a bag of chips. Talk!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 24-Nov-12 11:27:45

"I feel like my life is over at 25."

So improve your life. There is no statute of limitations on having fun and motherhood, although imposing a few practical restrictions, is no real barrier either. Go out with your work colleagues occasionally.

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 24-Nov-12 11:28:08

We are not pathetic ingenues, blinking in awe or sent into a spin just because we're exposed to the wonderful world of men.

really? well neither are all mean threatened because their wives work.

DeathCab Sat 24-Nov-12 11:34:09

smile you make a very good point Ophelia.

I do have the tendency to create my own problems sometimes. As my mum says.. I'm bloody hard work grin.

I'm also finding myself fancying other men which never happened before. I would never ever act on it though.

But it's things like that which are making me feel this relationship isn't right anymore.

I need to talk to DP.

Why can't we have someone that makes all our decisions for us?? Life would be so much simpler.

homeofhelp Sat 24-Nov-12 11:47:12

I understand what you mean now sorry. But a night away from dd wont do any harm you could go out with friends make new friends. Do what you want for you. He does sound a bit of a bully to be honest. Surly its easier to share childcare then to live with someone who you dont even know if you want to be with.

Your dd will be fine she will still have both of you i can tell you really care about her. It will be easier to split now while she is young then when she is older. Maybe write a list of ressons to stay and leave. But with every answer remember dd will be fine because your a good mum.

DeathCab Sat 24-Nov-12 11:50:13

I'm not saying that I dot agree with you but what is it that I have written that makes him sound like a bully? I never meant to portray him in that way but I do feel deflated with his attitude sometimes, like I just give up.

Thank you for saying that smile she is my entire world, I'd do anything to make her happy. Normal Mum things I know grin

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