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Feel cheap :-(

(187 Posts)
QuestionTime Thu 22-Nov-12 16:56:42

Hi ladies,
Well I did a silly thing and am feeling really down about it. Basically I've had a dreadful year with my mum dying and splitting up from my husband. I was just starting to get my equilibrium back - going out with friends and really beginning to enjoy life again.
Anyway on Friday it was my friends birthday and we went out as a big group. One of the guys in the group I got on really well with and we spent ages talking, dancing and just getting to know one another. He was so lovely - walking me to my cab and asking me to tact when I was home safe.
Anyway the next day he rung me and asked to take me out to lunch. We had a lovely time - talking, laughing and generally getting on like a house on fire. He was such a gentleman - always walking on the traffic side of the pavement etc. He dropped me home and we had a bit of a kiss.
Later that night he text me and after a few more texts and a phone call I agreed to go to his for dinner. Turned up and it was all candles and open fires. Put a cd on and it was my favourite song in the world. We both said it was like we had known each other forever.
Anyway one thing led to another and I stayed the night and we had sex. Only the third person I've slept with in my life.
Last night I went round to my friends who was also out on the Friday. I find out that after I left they pretty much did everything but sleep together.
Anyway I'd arranged to ring him that evening so told him that I had found out about Friday night. He point blank denied it and got really angry about it - saying she was stirring just because we had something potentially really good together - before practically putting the phone down on me.
I 100% believe her. Feel so cheap and used. Have never ever trusted someone enough to sleep with them that quickly. What a fool. Just really knocked my duck off.

SolidGoldYESBROKEMYSPACEBAR Sun 25-Nov-12 22:00:46

There isn't actually anything wrong with being middle-aged and living in the suburbs. Sex is not only for the young, fashionable and beautiful.

MiniTheMinx Sun 25-Nov-12 22:06:49

I spent four years with a wealthy commitment phobe. I wouldn't have changed it for the world, four years of great fun and lots of holidays. I was only in my early twenties though and in the final analysis he wanted to commit when I decided to bolt. Depends if you want commitment? he might be fun for a while, just keep your options open and learn to not always be available, don't beg for the credit card and keep it fun. He might be used to women who cling, who are desperate and women who try to take him for a ride financially so if you don't do those things, who knows, at 50 he might come round to the idea of commitment wink

blueshoes Sun 25-Nov-12 22:10:38

So it is true about swinging then, solidgold. I never said there was anything wrong BTW.

you shagged Hugh Heffner? grin

Tressy Sun 25-Nov-12 22:55:10

He coached in a load of models? Run for the hills.

garlicbaguette Sun 25-Nov-12 23:24:39

What? He has to hire women to decorate his pool party?

I fear that makes him a tragic misogynist with insufficient friends. If I were you I'd decide how many times I wanted to be 'spoiled' - 3? 10? - and then knock it on the head.

I've no qualms about suggesting you use him, within reason, as you've just identified him as a user. He buys people.

But I would say be careful about overdoing it, or you WILL end up feeling cheap even if you're expensive, iyswim! Better to ditch him soonish, then keep him in your little black book for possible booty call later on.

He'll invite you to his pool party next summer, don't you worry!

Gay40 Mon 26-Nov-12 08:51:05

To be fair, if I had the money (and the space) I'd ship in a coach load of models every weekend. I like the place to look nice.

Gay40 Mon 26-Nov-12 08:52:00

And why are people talking about commitment after two fucks and a coffee? FFS

MiniTheMinx Mon 26-Nov-12 09:19:57

OP seems to infer that she would like some sort of commitment be it with this man or some other. (last post)

I don't think I would want to commit to a man who thought women were commodities to be "bought" in to pool parties.

ToffeeCaramel Mon 26-Nov-12 09:58:24

Hope you don't get hurt OP. Maybe some women can shag without getting emotionally involved, i don't know. I know i've tried to without success in the past.

Tressy Mon 26-Nov-12 10:38:52

I would definitely put him firmly in fwb material, not boyfriend material. Let him spoil you etc, on your terms and continue seeing other male friends. Keep looking for someone nicer. You are worth more.

QuestionTime Mon 26-Nov-12 20:04:55

Yes I'm thinking run for the hills before I get emotionally attached!

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