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The only single girl!

(21 Posts)
superstarheartbreaker Sun 18-Nov-12 17:41:55

I do enjoy much about being single but one thing I hate is being single in a gathering of couples. How do I deal with being the odd one out? Yesterday we had a lovely gathering but they were all talking about their partners.

hellocatty Sun 18-Nov-12 17:43:38

I'm married and if it's any consolation would be v jealous of you. Plus would find you much more interesting to talk to than people talking about their partners - where on earth were you??

FermezLaBouche Sun 18-Nov-12 18:09:48

Hi OP I'm in exactly the same position. Before I moved I ALWAYS felt like the odd one out in a sea of couples. Since moving though, I've reconnected with a few people, old friends, in the same profession as me who are by and large gay and struggling to meet people. I'm not gay but never seem to meet anyone. We joke that we're society's outcasts but in reality I feel closer to these friends than I have with anyone else. Think uninhibited belly laughs and knowing each other's worst secrets.

If you live the NE you're welcome to join the outcast!

stookiesackhouse Sun 18-Nov-12 18:43:36

I am in the same position as you OP. I tend to avoid the couples gatherings now because I always come away feeling like shite.

Maybe save them for when you have k partner again? In the meantime, have fun with your single friends - or if they're all betrothed then make some new ones.

I'm in the NE same as Fermez. <waves to Fermez> :-)

FermezLaBouche Sun 18-Nov-12 18:47:36

<waves back!>
I thought I was the only one up here! smile

stookiesackhouse Sun 18-Nov-12 18:57:22

Don't think there are many of us Fermez!

It's bloody cold tonight isn't it!

FermezLaBouche Sun 18-Nov-12 19:02:38

It really is! I've been putting the heating on all day then remembering imminent gas bill and turning it off again. I MUST buy a fluffy dressing gown when I get paid, I swear it'll halve my heating bills smile I live on a really steep street too, and I know it's getting to the point where I need to go to work in my docs every day or I won't even be able to leave my house...

stookiesackhouse Sun 18-Nov-12 19:07:51

I am tho same - big old flat. Heating costs me a fortune! Am under my quilt now and using the cat as a hot water bottle! grin

I travel to work on the Metro and just know the frozen lines fun will start imminently! :-|

stookiesackhouse Sun 18-Nov-12 19:08:41

*the not tho

riverboat Sun 18-Nov-12 19:16:31

I'm in a relationship, but recently met up with a group of friends and realised I was practically the only childless one. There were so many times during the day where everyone was talking about their babies/toddlers and I felmt like a massive outsider. 

Weirdly though, instead of making me feel broody it just made me nostalgic for the days when everyone was lurching between bad relationships and singledom, no one had a child, and our friendships felt more close and special somehow...

If you lived near me I'd happily come on a night out with you and promise not to mention my DP once!

MooncupGoddess Sun 18-Nov-12 19:23:41

Ha - smug coupley events where you are the only single person are v. annoying.

However - a) people who can only talk about their partner are probably quite dull (there are interesting married people out there! honestly!) and

b) you may find that if you see these people one on one you'll start to discover their lives aren't as smug and amazing as they portray in public.

kernowgal Algeria Sun 18-Nov-12 19:27:47

Another one here - single and childless - and feeling the childlessness more than the singleness at the moment! Mainly because a lot of my friends have announced pregnancies this year. I am mildly envious, but I got out of a shit relationship earlier this year and so I'm quite happy with singledom for now.

I've met new friends recently who although in relationships aren't planning to have kids, and it's been a real relief to have drinking partners again ;)

MulledWineOnTheBusLady Sun 18-Nov-12 19:29:28

I once went to a wedding which was awful for this - I only knew about six people, all coupled up, and the dancing was country dancing. For which you had to have a partner. sad It was bloody awful.

And I'm coupled up now. The moral is not everybody in a couple has totally forgotten what it's like, so ignore the boring ones and winkle out the people like me who are in relationships but nonetheless wincing in the corner!

B1ueberryS0rbet Sun 18-Nov-12 19:32:34

At least you're invited! I'm just not invited to any occasion that includes the husbands....... I can't believe how conservative most people still are! They think the sky would fall down if they invited a single woman to a mixed gathering of their friends. It used to upset me when I was recently single. I accept it now. It makes no sense to me but I am used to it. I was invited to bring my then new bf (now finished) along to something a while ago and I thought, is it that easy then? a man, any man but that's all it takes to be invited to mixed gatherings again.

B1ueberryS0rbet Sun 18-Nov-12 19:37:14

ps, seriously though, I can't stand when wives sit around chatting about how their husband takes his steak, or whether he robs the duvet or snores. I cringe on their behalf wondering if the husbands would consider how well done their wives like their steak a topic of conversation. That is mostly at the school gates though, awkward talk for women who don't know each other. NOrmally people who know each other and like each other don't have to resort to such boring silence-filling dirge.

stookiesackhouse Sun 18-Nov-12 19:54:29

This thread is making me think about Bridget Jones at the couples dinner grin

superstarheartbreaker Sun 18-Nov-12 20:03:14

No one long term friend is particularly smug about her one year relationship anniversary and spend a great deal of time talking about their diffrent food preferences! What annoys me though is that when I told her about my recent break up I detected a (faint) smile.

HappyHippyChick Sun 18-Nov-12 20:03:43

I'm married with kids and I never talk about my dh. My social circle includes singles, couples with kids and childless couples. We always find stuff to talk about.

Op if you live near south London you can meet up with us!

superstarheartbreaker Sun 18-Nov-12 20:09:48

Hi all. I live in the Sw but I might move to London sooon as my career has ground to a halt here!

CogitoErgoSometimes Sun 18-Nov-12 20:13:20

I went to a wedding solo last week that was all couples. Still managed to sparkle in spite of all the cosy coupleyness about me. One chap was very attentive ... flirting like crazy with his missus hovering like a hawk and giving me the beady eye. LOL! What can I say? I'm a man magnet. smile

stookiesackhouse Sun 18-Nov-12 20:21:51

Haha cogito, good for you!

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