Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

dp just told a waitress she's gorgeous...

(78 Posts)
Dunkinbiscuits Sat 17-Nov-12 21:41:29

just having a nice romantic meal and dp said to waitress 'you're gorgeous you are' !!! Right in front of me ffs- i threw a wobbly and now hes sat outside as i finish the bottle of champers at the bar alone - feeling pretty shit tbh :-( am i over reacting?

Dunkinbiscuits Thu 22-Nov-12 21:36:40

I know he's wrong for me, seriously he has put me through so much shit, our relationship is toxic I have lost all of my friends/family as they hate him so I have no one left to talk to apart from him, i'm very isolated and have read all of the threads on here about Emotional abuse etc. and recognise every sign I just can't seem to break free even though I hate him as much as I love him! It's weird, like I'm under some sort of spell - if he dropped off the edge of the earth tomorrow I would be devastated but also feel free, god that sounds awful doesn't it? I cannot wait for my rose tinted glasses to fall off, I've managed 1 week with NC but he always worms his way back!! ffs

ladybird69 Fri 23-Nov-12 00:51:29

Oh Bugger just written long reply Dunkin and lost it.
You sound like me pls go onto emotional abuse thread you'll get lots of support from the ladies on there. I still loved my ex until recently until I suddenly realised that throughout our whole relationship I'd been played and he'd never loved me. You and your little ones are the most important beings in the world, listen to your friends and family they are usually right. sending you strength and love x

B1ueberries Fri 23-Nov-12 07:47:45

YANBU. It's so disrespectful to you. Also, smaller point but the waitress must have felt sorry for you for being with such a dickhead and i'd find that humiliating.

Anniegetyourgun Fri 23-Nov-12 09:03:45

He missed the court hearing for whether he could have access to his own children? shock How useless IS this guy??!!

fromparistoberlin Fri 23-Nov-12 10:15:41

dunkin

he sounds like a waste of airspace

keep reading, keep posting and whilst I dont say this lightly. LTB!!!

good luck, you deserve better and I think you know that

OneMoreChap Fri 23-Nov-12 12:25:38

Sorry to hear about him; very poor show saying that.

Why is the XW so down on you? That must be difficult if you can't see his kids together...

Dozer Fri 23-Nov-12 13:24:06

Leave the bastard!

You have "stuck with him through thick and thin": he has put you through lots of shit (presumably this is just the latest). It won't stop and you will continue to be unhappy.

Life will be much, much better without him.

Dunkinbiscuits Mon 03-Dec-12 22:15:58

Left the bastard sad

GoldQuintessenceAndMyhrr Mon 03-Dec-12 22:22:18

oh GOOD!

Tell us more.

freeandhappy Mon 03-Dec-12 22:27:55

Good on you!

Doha Mon 03-Dec-12 22:36:34

Oh well done Dunkin

Please don't cave in and go back

glastocat Mon 03-Dec-12 22:39:06

Oh well done, you won't regret it!

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Mon 03-Dec-12 22:44:05

Are you ok dunken?

Dunkinbiscuits Mon 03-Dec-12 22:44:10

It never really got back on track tbh, he's been acting distant the last week blaming a headache hmm But he's basically fucked Christmas up by promising his children to spend the whole day there when we'd already planned things.

Tbf his ex did say in front of the children 'would you like to come for present opening and go again if you have something more important to do, or would you like to stay the WHOLE day' so, he has decided to spend Christmas day with his toxic Ex - can just see them preparing dinner together, several drinks and probably him for desert!

I have nothing against him seeing the children and mine are at their dads this year sad so i suggested we spend Christmas Eve together and then Christmas morning both go off to see our respective children, maybe 8-2ish then spend lunch and afternoon together. We would both have our children all day boxing day too so 6 hours Xmas day + boxing day, seemed reasonable and not selfish imo - he agreed at the time but obviously it was not to be.

His ex has caused us no end of trouble since we started seeing each other so all I can think of is her smug face and I can't trust him not to get drunk and end up in bed with her - i told him i can't do it and it wasn't a case of me stopping him seeing his children but the straw that broke the camels back sad

Doha Mon 03-Dec-12 22:57:06

Thank God for the straw that broke the camels back.
I think you have saved yourself a whole load of extra stress when you believe he would sleep with his ex on Xmas day, it was bad enough that he chose to disregard your plans.
You deserve so much better than him and l think you do know that. Just get the rest of the year over with and start 2013 on a new footing.

Dunkinbiscuits Mon 03-Dec-12 23:02:33

Thanks Puds, yeah I will be - more annoyed by the way he's treated me the last week really, he just buries his head in the sand when something complicated happens instead of talking things through so i've had complete coolness this week blamed on the headache - sooo frustrating.

Just need to make sure i stay away although it's difficult as i'm doing a project for him at the moment so will see him in the morning (will have to hide all sharp objects!) but if i can hang on for the next two weeks i'll be fine. New Year new life smile

Thank you everyone who posted before i didn't really have anything to report before now but did read every post x

Dunkinbiscuits Mon 03-Dec-12 23:08:23

lol xposts Doha - definitely onwards and upwards, really can't see a way past this and i don't trust him to change plans and then leave me waiting on Christmas Day and not show up. I Will NOT cry on Christmas day!!! I was already invited to my Ex's Christmas eve and Day, we are really great friends but i had thought i was spending time with P hmm

onedev Mon 03-Dec-12 23:20:17

Well done Dunkin - I'm sure 2013 will bring much better things for you. grin

JudyPee Tue 04-Dec-12 01:06:02

Jesus are you lot all this dismal all the time ? op's bloke was a bit of a knob saying this at such a time.. but really girls, get over yourselves (ESP you onedev, my word).

JudyPee Tue 04-Dec-12 01:08:29

(That said, the Ex does indeed sound toxic and is well suited to the knob: why did they split up again??)

cynnerthenaughtyreindeer Tue 04-Dec-12 01:24:15

I think onedev said exactly the right thing. Really, JudyPee how very rude to ask this OP to enumerate the details of her her stbxs previous relationship..

izzyizin Tue 04-Dec-12 01:29:46

Dismal, JudyP? This thread is cause for rejoicing that another twunt's bit the dust got his and, from the OP's account, not before time grin

Good on you, Dunkin - keep it up and you'll soon have your family and friends back on side.

JudyPee Tue 04-Dec-12 01:32:50

Whilst I agree that this twerp got his comeuppance you're in daaanger of coming across like a bunch of Millie tants is all. I see no major issue with a bl

JudyPee Tue 04-Dec-12 01:43:40

Without knowing the full story ( which came out In Subsequent posts ) onedev encourage op to leave. That's ridiculous, subsequent details notwithstanding. On the face of it OP's other half was guilty of being a mildly insensitive dick.

( In reality he has been a monstrous cock and deserves all he gets. )

But still. My point stands, sorry.

JudyPee Tue 04-Dec-12 01:44:28

"How very rude..."

Don't be so silly.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now