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nothing worse than families

7 replies

orangeflute · 17/11/2012 16:34

I'm after some advise. DH and I have 2 dd 2 and 5 mo I also have 3 older children by EXH. Since DH and I have been together his Dsis has always hated me. Won't go into the long saga but I took him away from her and his niece. So we have always bought for niece on birthdays, Easter and Christmas and she and OH dad have always bought for our 2 year old. I have no idea why their gifts are combined they don't live in the same house but that's by the by. She seems quite dependant on her dad both financially and for childcare.
so our new baby was born in June. No card from oh dad or dsis. Our other daughter was two recently. We got 2 cards posted through the door. One from grandad with money the other from dsis. They both live 5 mins away. From some snide comments on facebook I think she's pissed off now cos DH asked his dad to pass on news of our new daughters birth.
So I really could not give a flying fuck about oh dsis but I don't believe DH niece should be hurt so is it ok for DH to pop up to his dads when niece is there and give Christmas presents etc?

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izzyizin · 17/11/2012 18:07

I can't see what his dsis and df's arrangement re buying for your dc has to do with the price of eggs, but how do you expect the niece to receive any Christmas presents you've bought for her if your dh doesn't deliver them?

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orangeflute · 17/11/2012 18:41

Like I said that's by the by. What my question is as I probably didn't make myself clear is if its ok for my DH to visit niece whilst she is at grandads without my DH dsis being there as this is often the case to deliver Christmas presents etc?

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izzyizin · 17/11/2012 18:58

Why would it not be ok? How else will she get her presents?

Or are you suggesting that your dh deliberately waits until his dsis is not around before delivering his niece's gifts?

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 17/11/2012 19:56

Hi OP sounds like DH's sister has a bee in her bonnet but you are quite right not to let her child go without a gift because her mum is narky.

Quite understand you have enough to keep busy with baby and older DD without a jealous SIL to worry about so sounds reasonable to send DH to his dad's with niece's present.

I'm not saying, grovel to someone who is rude or nasty. But if ever there's a chance to make things better it's Christmas? You could go one better, send along SIL a small gift doesn't have to cost a lot. You could make the first move if only for DH and his dad's sake.

Anyway that's just a thought OP please disregard if you don't want reconciliation.

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orangeflute · 17/11/2012 20:11

Izzy - yes that is what I'm considering.
Donkey - for the past two years I have given his SIS a pressie even tho her attitude towards us has been shitty. As she is now taking it out on the DC she won't be getting a gift. You so rightly pointed out I have enough on with 5 children but I don't want niece to suffer.

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DonkeysDontRideBicycles · 17/11/2012 20:17

Well you have tried orangeflute so you can hold your head high. Families can be hard work, commiserations.

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orangeflute · 17/11/2012 20:28

Donkey - Thanks, that means a lot. Not going into too much detail I really tried with her and niece but nothing made any difference and I just do not have the time or patience anymore. Having no extended family myself I have really put a lot of effort into trying to salvage relations but enough is enough.