Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

What does your dh/p do for you? How does he make you feel loved?

(66 Posts)
Petershadow Thu 15-Nov-12 10:43:58

had an odd conversation with my counsellor. Get the impression she thinks I have high standards in this respect
So it would be interesting to hear others pov

wigglesrock Thu 15-Nov-12 12:19:38

badtasteflump you know something you can't really afford that month, or a different colour in a top you already have but love- or something you really don't have that much use for but is very shiny and pretty or has a reindeer on it blush. Can also be used in context of a sneaky bottle of wine/takeaway etc grin We use it a lot in our house!

neenienana Thu 15-Nov-12 12:21:50

Alibaba, I think we are married to same man! All you said plus he has really good taste in clothes and has bought ne some lovely stuff. Just going through a miscarriage and he has been an absolute rock.

FeuDeRussie Thu 15-Nov-12 12:37:36

It's SO nice reading about all these lovely, kind, generous partners. Kindness and unselfishness seems to be the thing we all appreciate most...but am also v jealous of the horse grin

IvanaHumpalotCountDracula Thu 15-Nov-12 15:33:09

Makes me a cup of tea every morning.
Tells me I'm beautiful - there's 5st more of me to be beautiful these days!
Cleans' the litter tray.

It's the small things...

Lavenderhoney Thu 15-Nov-12 15:37:11

50balesof hay, you certainly deserve a man like that! Bit tearful nowsmile
I would like to be brought tea in bed though. I get up first so it doesn't happen, i suppose I could take him coffee in bed though...

Sneaky top sounds lovelysmile

Plomino Thu 15-Nov-12 16:04:01

At the moment he does everything ! I am stuck on sofa with broken leg for next fortnight minimum which was caused entirely by my own complacency . He has had to get me and my car back from hospital , which is quite a distance away . Has had to do all the picking up and dropping off for the 5 kids , who all have various commitments . Done all the school runs, all the cooking , organised the kids to do additional chores so I don't sit on the sofa and fret at an increasing amount of crap everywhere (for which I have previous) , fetched and carried , and not complained once . In fact , he said 'well you looked after me , now it's my turn '

Bless his heart . And the rest.

Plomino Thu 15-Nov-12 16:05:43

Oh and he didn't complain when we spent some of his retirement money on a new stable yard . And he too bought my big horse for my birthday . Bless .

walkofftheearth Thu 15-Nov-12 16:24:17

DH has always supported me in my ambitions, regardless of how much or little they'd contribute financially to the household. He's been happy to take the full responsibility of earning for the household for the past 12 years, so I could be a sahm, focus on my PhD and pursue my interests. He's totally open with sharing money, he doesn't question any of my purchases at all (not even the lovely new iPad I treated myself to last month!). He's saved up a nest egg for DS who isn't his child, but who he treats as his own.

He knows I can't stand housework or laundry, so is happy to get a cleaner in to do it. He probably contributes more to the household in terms of organising and tidying than I do.

He's enthusiastic about attending performances and shows that I'm involved in, and treats my hobbies/voluntary work as seriously as his own work.

He's always up for sex, no matter how tired or stressed he is. He knows I don't like soppiness or flowers, so doesn't do any of that stuff. But I always get a good seeing to when I want it!

mosschops30 Thu 15-Nov-12 16:49:53

This thread makes me sad my dh doesnt do most of these things, and im getting a very slow realisation

WaitingForMe Thu 15-Nov-12 17:42:08

He sees us as a team and never begrudges having to contribute. He doesn't think to do certain things (eg. laundry) but I had a tummy bug recently when 38 weeks pregnant and I threw up all over the bathroom. I woke him up because I couldn't handle it myself. He put the bathmat and my dressing gown in the wash, made me a sweet tea without milk, gave me a hug and held me until I fell asleep. The next day he texted regularly to check how I was doing. It would never occur to him that this was nice of him, he just sees it as doing what was needed to ensure the team was doing as best it could.

My ex would have complained, made me feel guilty then told everyone about it endlessly to prove what a good man he was. He'd then remind me of it later if I had the audacity to ruin his weekend by asking him to mow the lawn and say it was hard being with someone so ungrateful.

SpiralDancer Thu 15-Nov-12 17:56:02

Gosh I really don't know where to start, he's just so giving, respectful, honest and demonstrates his love in so many ways, (we found each other this year and so do not live together). I appreciate all the little things he does, makes bread and brings it over, little gifts, listens, supportive, he's very good at communicating emotions, massages, making love/sex is fantastic (both have high drives). I could spend all the time in the world with him (and our 3 dc's from our ex's).

Everyday I give thanks that I am with such a good man.

Alibabaandthe40nappies Thu 15-Nov-12 17:56:13

Oh moss sad I was on a thread of yours a few weeks ago, have things not improved?

WakeyCakey Thu 15-Nov-12 18:03:46

He still calls me the nickname he used on our first 'date'
Nothing special just Blue-eyes. Everytime he calls me this I melt a little for him.

He doesn't always put me first and is sickeningly sarcastic but he knows when all I need is a cuddle and a cuppa.

Anskabel Thu 15-Nov-12 18:08:07

He brings me a cup of tea in the mornings, will always pick me up to save me getting the bus, helps out with housework without protest, goes out of his way to cook me gorgeous meals, really listens to me and gives good advice as opposed to just giving lip service, supports me in my hobbies and interests, phones me several times throughout the day to make sure I'm ok, works hard, looks after me when I'm ill, is secure in our relationship so is never jealous of me spending time with friends, buys and makes me thoughtful presents, tells me he loves me every day, gives me compliments, is a selfless lover, never snaps at me, is patient when I have PMT, never "expects" me to do anything for him, always shows gratitude when I do, has never taken the piss with money / other liberties, is faithful, loyal, communicates with me, let's me hog the bed!

BlatantRedhead Thu 15-Nov-12 18:23:35

He remembers to buy my vienetta.

mosschops30 Thu 15-Nov-12 20:56:47

alibaba I've just put a thread on OTBT if you want to join me sad

Autumnchill Thu 15-Nov-12 21:20:00

I was away last night on business up and up at 5am today with a full on physical day on a construction site. I left London at 4pm tonight and drove home, arriving 4 hours later.

He opened the door, got my bags and told me my mission, should I choose to accept it was to drop my bags, go upstairs and get in the bath, which was hot with little tea lights lit around it and a glass of chilled Chablis on the side and when I had relaxed, tea would be served (which was gorgeous).

I fall in love with him every time I see him.

Petershadow Thu 15-Nov-12 21:33:08

Sorry mosschops

These are making me cry.

Frizzbonce Thu 15-Nov-12 22:22:52

He roars with laughter at my jokes - proper full bellied guffaws.

Tells me he loves me (the telling is important)

Holds my hand in public/strokes me when we're in company (not in a rude way!)

Cooks me such delicious food that I overlook that the kitchen resembles a bombsite afterwards.

Treats his SD with love and tenderness.

Makes me come.

dippyDoohdah Thu 15-Nov-12 22:23:29

wow, after a crap relationship I did not believe these kind of relationships existed!
why making you cry, op?x

marriedinwhite Thu 15-Nov-12 22:29:18

He trusts me and I trust him and we give each other space.

We also have a cuddle every night and the last thing he says is I love you and the first thing he says is I love you. Not sure I always do.

He doesn't buy me flowers, he doesn't buy me presents (much), he moans a lot and complains about the state of the house, he tells me I've got fat, that I'm going round the eyes, that I'm a pain in the bum, that I'm talking rubbish, that I;ve said the same thing four times, that my children are difficult.

I tell him a lot to stop moaning but he keeps coming home, we still love each other, we know each other inside out and after 25 years if anyone wants to slag him off - *fight, fight, fight* in the words of Harry Hill.

fishcalledwonder Thu 15-Nov-12 22:30:48

What a lovely thread. might email it to my DH for inspiration

Shodan Thu 15-Nov-12 22:42:10

He gets up with ds2 almost every morning and never complains about being made to sleep on the sofa- even if he's been kicked out of bed to do it. I have insomnia and he has always treated me (and it) with understanding (has never indulged in competitive tiredness).

And sometimes, when I'm waffling on about crap he'll just look at me like I'm the best thing since sliced bread and say 'I do love you so much, you know.'

He does lots of other things (which is why his gonads are still in place after forgetting my birthday) but these two sprang to mind immediately.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Thu 15-Nov-12 22:50:21

Tells me me loves me every morning and every night, tells me I am gorgeous, makes it very obvious he still fancies me (as I do him) after 25 years of being married and treats me as a complete equal. We are a real team.

doyouwantfrieswiththat Thu 15-Nov-12 22:54:39

oh bugger I've just realised I'm with the wrong man.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now