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6 months in...are these normalish and I am being too picky?

(146 Posts)
scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 18:50:41

Hello All,

I read here alot, have name changed for this as slightly scared of answers

I have been seeing someone for just over 6 months, and for me we hit crunch time this week and I'm thinking of leaving, just wanted others opinion if possible.

All been ok, been on 2 long holidays etc and see every weekend however a week ago my mum who lives a long way away said she would be over at end of Dec and wanted to meet him, so I asked him, he lives half an hour away and said o might be too tired as its a monday, i got the message and said ok fine will tell her you are too busy. However was annoyed and all the things I am unsure about have reared their ugly head...

1) He is incredibly tight, so much so that his friends take the mick, and hates going out

2) he eats at his parents every night so as to save cooking and prefers me round latish so he can eat first, his mum also does all his washing and ironing..he is 50

3) He farts now continually, didn't used to and thinks its hilarious

4) Like some kind of tourette syndrome he keeps saying fcuking c@@t under his breath apropos of nothing when we are out??

5) calls his boss female a slag and a c@@t and says she slept her way to top and wants him and i should be lucky he has morals??

6) A bit shorter than me and I'm average height and wears huge built up shoes so he can hardly walk, I hate this, I don't care about the height

7) obsessed with anal sex??? WTF

8) Slightly controlling and bossy and hates me drinking or looking at other guys, I don't realise I have looked till he makes a comment, I'm normally just looking into space I think

9) Ok just read these and they sound awful, he can be lovely, good company, and fun, but I'm getting irritated now hugely, yes been asked to meet his parents and I would never say o no too tired as its in week

Any ideas

Turniphead1 Mon 12-Nov-12 20:46:45

Dump and flee! But more importantly, take some time to reassess why you EVER thought you were worth nothing more than this man.

You say he was lovely to start with - but some of his characteristics must have come through fairly quickly. And you have wasted half a year on this moron. I say this not to be harsh but because I am worried that you must have incredibly low self-esteem to have even considered continuing this relationship. And in fact, listed this appalling personal characteristics as "irritations". And that you were only prompted to assess him when he was unwilling to meet your mother hmm.

You say you have had a hard time recently. You need to know that no woman should put up with that kind of cretin.

PiedWagtail Mon 12-Nov-12 20:47:19

Run for the hills! Any one of those things on your list would have me out that door.

JustFabulous Mon 12-Nov-12 20:54:16

What are you going to do, OP?

stuffitunderthebed Mon 12-Nov-12 21:00:11

Are you ok OP? Sorry for ripping you a wee bit. Unfair when you've posted for advice. Was just thrilled to be having banter with Izzy - I normally only ever 'see' her when I'm suicidal and posting about my DP! In all seriousness, don't be so hard on yourself. So he's awful and it's taken you a while to catch on. So what, you'll get there. Dump and move on. Make your list as you go along next time. You really will be fine.

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 12-Nov-12 21:13:55

I'm amazed you've lasted six months. Tight, short, sexist, grumpy and randomly sweary.... and you say he hasn't had anything but a short relationship since age 40? Crazy...

HairyGrotter Mon 12-Nov-12 21:16:25

He wears built up shoes...HE WEARS BUILT UP SHOES...

OP, no, just NO. He sounds like a prize bellshine, get rid, and do it quick...Christ on an actual bike, I'd have a riot with that one

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:21:27

Thanks all

Yes done it

Hes clinging..but if he were the catch he keeps saying he wouldn't so I feel ok

he did start out ok

ShipwreckedAndComatose Mon 12-Nov-12 21:22:47

Some one once described it to me as that point when the scales fall from your eyes..

Well done!!

dampfireworksinthegarden Mon 12-Nov-12 21:22:47

l think he sounds quite nice.

ok, ok, only pulling your leg.
dump and let us know when you have.

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:01

I love love love this

Thank you

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:49

sorry meant to add i love the hobbling along farty one, keep laughing!!

dampfireworksinthegarden Mon 12-Nov-12 21:23:51

x post. you already have dumped him grin

stuffitunderthebed Mon 12-Nov-12 21:24:16

They all start ok - you've had a lucky escape that he's displayed his true colours so early on - well before any real commitment etc. well done OP. proud of you, fast and decisive; well done you!

scrapingbottom Mon 12-Nov-12 21:27:36

No thank you all very much

Now have chocolate, film and pets with heating on and giggling somewhat over some of the messages

many many thanks

x

digerd Mon 12-Nov-12 21:33:21

I am stunned. My first reaction was that it must be a "joke", and am still wondering.? Don't like any of your numbers, but 4 & 5 are especially nasty, and the rest disgusting. I assumed he was a teenager/early 20s, not a mature 50 year-old. Irritated - I am appalled.

PopMusicShoobyDoobyDoA Mon 12-Nov-12 21:34:16

Yay! Finally, someone who actually did leave the bastard! On live chat. Not something you see everyday.

kissyfur Mon 12-Nov-12 21:50:25

Good for you OP! smile

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 21:57:50

He's 'clinging'? O dear, having to prise their fingers off your ankles as you swan on to your infinitely brighter-without-them future is tres tedious - as soon as you've got one foot free, simply kick him in the teeth and hope the blood can easily be removed from your Manolo.

I'm immensely relieved you are laughing at the messages, honey, but are you laughing at ours which are laughing with you and not at you or his which will inevitably be taking the piss because that's what he does?

LivesInJeans Mon 12-Nov-12 22:01:09

This site never ceases to show up how much women will put up with. It is really sad.

Why? Why do we do it?

<high fives OP for NOT doing it>

ashesgirl Mon 12-Nov-12 22:03:07

You sound very together, OP. smile

This must be a record LTB actually.

He does sound bloody awful by the way.

aurynne Mon 12-Nov-12 22:11:45

I couldn't get over a 50 year old going for dinner at his mum's every night and having her do his laundry... Sorry, I would be laughing too hard just at that to find any other redeeming virtues of his (of which there don't seem to be many anyway) worthy of my time.

CaptainVonTrapp Mon 12-Nov-12 22:12:15

You've done it already?! Great work. Sounds like you've wasted enough time on this poor excuse for a man.

Good Luck.

hornetgirl Mon 12-Nov-12 22:13:26

Well done x

izzyizin Mon 12-Nov-12 22:32:38

With his qualities he's a shoe-in for this board's Most Repulsive Twat of the Year 2012 contest and I hereby nominate him forthwith.

Let him take his place among the other candidates until the jury returns a verdict early in the New Year.

<<gavel>>

DaveMccave Mon 12-Nov-12 22:39:22

He sounds vile. That is a LONG list of flaws for a 6 month relationship. I have been with my partner a year, and can't think of a single one.

I'm going to assume his mum is about 70? do you think it's right that he lets her do all his washing and cooking?! He should be looking after her, not using her. He's probably looking for a replacement in you... don't let it get to that point!

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