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How does you partner make your life better?

(70 Posts)
Bubblenut Sat 10-Nov-12 15:35:16

Partner/ husband/ wife - how do they make your life better than before you were with them?

Examples please if possible!

NymphadoraTonks Sat 10-Nov-12 15:40:29

It's nice knowing that my husband is there to support me whatever I do and that I'm there to support him. He's my best friend and if I wasn't with him I'd feel really sad.

That's about it really. Life sucks without him.

PamelaSwynfordDeBeaufort Sat 10-Nov-12 15:41:12

Thats a hard one.

The main thing is knowing he will support me and my decisions as much as he possibly can. An example would be that My family were all about what they thought I should do and dh encouraged me to make my own choices. and if it turned out to a crap decision he supported me in getting back on track.

I always say he isn't perfect (i am not) but he is perfect for me.

But we have been together since i was 18 (12years) and I don't so much think about how life was before him. I think about the things I love about him now.

PamelaSwynfordDeBeaufort Sat 10-Nov-12 15:42:27

Ooh and I like that he needs my support.

I grew thinking i didn't effect anyone, just there.

Dh made me feel like my opinion was important and he sometimes needed me to support him.

MrsWolowitz Sat 10-Nov-12 15:44:14

DH makes me laugh and we have loads of in-jokes that cheer me up.

He knows me do well and knows how to make me feel happy/safe/supported/loved.

He would protect me to the death if he had to.

He is a great Dad and is wonderful with our kids.

fluffyraggies England Sat 10-Nov-12 16:04:09

He's not just my husband - he's my partner. In life.
We go through life together. The ups and the downs.
I love him madly. He loves me with all his heart.
I know that my happiness and safety are his priority. 24/7.
He's got my back, and i've got his.
He makes me laugh when i'm down.
He listens to me.
I feel i belong with him. By his side.
I know that if we lost everything - every last material object and penny - we'd still have each other, and we'd stand by each other, and we'd still love each other.
He's bloody sexy and has a big knob smile

BertieBotts Germany Sat 10-Nov-12 16:13:20

He's always there if I need a moan and never gets fed up with me moaning at him.

He lets me warm up my cold feet on him in bed grin

If I'm having trouble with DS he listens and then gives me another angle to think about it from. He doesn't always have practical suggestions, but enables me to think through and work out solutions for myself.

He encourages me to follow my dreams and make and reach goals/plans for myself. He makes me feel good about myself, and not in a dependent-on-him way.

(When he's here, which he currently isn't) He picks up the slack day to day - for example, if the house is looking messy he tidies it without being asked. If I'm struggling with DS he'll step in and take over. If I'm tired he'll tell me to take a nap grin He plans stuff for us to do. If I can't be bothered to cook he'll get a takeaway on the way home (etc.) He looks after me when I'm ill.

The sex is great grin

I'd manage fine without him - we're not dependent on each other. But he makes my life better in lots of ways smile

nananaps Sat 10-Nov-12 16:15:32

He sooths my soul.

He loves our son more than i do..if that is possible.

We are suited, compatible and similar in our outlooks.

He is thoughtful, unselfish and lovely to be around.

I am very very lucky to have met him, and wise to have made the decision to spend my life with him and to have a child with him.

Bubblenut Sat 10-Nov-12 16:36:13

I feel I'm missing out. I can't think how my husband enhances my life. It feels like a have a teenage son rather than a husband.

I CRAVE somple things like conversation but all discussion end almost instantly with him giving the answer rather than just listening.

I'm actually starting to watch other couple talk and feel jealous!! I like to laugh and he doesn't do that anymore - everything is so serious all the time and web he does make a joke, it's a 'one liner' that my family and friends politely laugh to.

I'm starting to reflect on things

BertieBotts Germany Sat 10-Nov-12 16:37:43

Sounds like the beginning of the end Bubble sad I'm sorry.

CogitoErgoSometimes Sat 10-Nov-12 17:26:10

I'd have to boot someone who doesn't laugh.... Don't have a permanent partner but the current beau - whilst far from perfect - has a great sense of humour and thinks I'm utterly fabulous in ever respect. Does it for me. Miserable gits need not apply.

fluffyraggies England Sat 10-Nov-12 17:37:15

sad bubblenut

How long have you been together?

Autumnchill Sat 10-Nov-12 17:48:18

He makes me laugh, he always has. We have stupid conversations and serious 'shit day at work' conversations, he supports and encourages me and makes me confident but most of all when I see him in a crowd or just walking down the aisle in the supermaket toward me, he makes me smile

I didn't have this in my first marriage, it was nice, middle of the road and I yearned for what you now want. It's a cliche but life is truly too short.

TheOriginalLadyFT Sat 10-Nov-12 17:58:04

He stopped my insecurity and mistrust issues in their tracks, he loves me unconditionally and makes me feel it's ok to be me

He's funny and bright, he works hard and is an honourable, kind, decent man who genuinely likes women and is disgusted by the cruelty and disrespect he sees some men display towards women

He gave me and my DS a wonderful family home, somewhere we both feel loved and cherished. I am very lucky to have him, and even though we have ups and downs like any couple, we have never argued or said unkind things to each other in the four years we have been together

slipperandpjsmum Sat 10-Nov-12 20:50:30

He is always in a bad mood. Never laughs at anything I say (everyone at work/friends say I have a great sense of humor). My heart sinks when I hear his car pull up at home. He would prefer to be in the pub on a sunday than have a family day. When he is away I don't think of him let alone miss him. He disagrees with everything I say. The other night he spend around an hour telling me everything that was wrong with me. My daughter cries when she tries to talk to him and all she gets is mmmm. We have not been on holiday together for 5 years.

Last week I told him I wanted it to be over but he cried and said things would change. They did for a week and today he is back to his old self and I am left wondering how much more of my life and his are we going to waste but I don't know, what to do, which way to turn. So I do nothing and stay and my old self is slipping away.

Autumnchill Sat 10-Nov-12 22:07:23

PJ don't let your life slip away. My Best friend had a similar husband. She finally divorced him last year after 20 years together and she hasn't looked back

wherewouldyoubenow Sat 10-Nov-12 22:07:46

Well I was a single mum on benefits when I met DH. Now I'm the joint owner of our house (although all the finance came from him), and I feel secure that me and my dc are provided for in his will and through insurances. And he's supporting me through my PhD and has taken on responsibility (financial and caring) for my dc's (from a previous rl but their bio dad has never been involved).

We are best friends, make silly jokes together and share experiences like road trip holidays, adventure sports and kinky sex.

XBenedict Sat 10-Nov-12 22:08:18

He is my inspiration.

Almostfifty Sat 10-Nov-12 22:18:36

He is just the best. My heart lifts when I see him and that's after thirty years together.

LaQueen Sat 10-Nov-12 22:36:52

I love that DH can tell how I'm feeling just by how I'm reading a book. It's very comforting that someone gets you so well, that words often aren't necessary.

I love that he can't walk past me without kissing me, or touching my hair or squidging my bum. He makes me feel very desirable, even when my mirror is telling me I'm 42 and my looks are fading. Sometimes in the night I wake up and he's got his arm wrapped round me, or just his hand resting on my hip and it makes me feel incredibly safe. I love how he smells, without aftershave, just him, he smells of home to me.

I have enormous respect for his intelligence. I'm pretty smart, but DH is something else again. His general knowledge aint that great (he doesn't read much) - but when it comes to sheer IQ, mathematical prowess and ability to absorb and process tonnes of complicated information...I have never met anyone else who can touch him. And, I worked with university lecturers and librarians for nearly 10 years.

I love watching how much he adores our DDs. He'll cup their faces in his hands and nuzzle their hair, and the look on his face just melts me. I love that when he's away, he will ring at their bedtime, and I can hear him say to DD1 and DD2 'Night night baby-girl, I love and I miss you, sleep tight and don't let the bed bugs bite' - and he doesn't care that he's within earshot of his friends/clients.

We sometimes fight like cat & dog, but that's only because we care passionately what the other does/says/thinks. Whatever we are, we could never be indifferent to each other. WE don't do PDAs, and we don't gush sentimentality - but I would give him my heart on a plate if he asked it of me, and I know he'd do the same for me.

Adversecamber Sat 10-Nov-12 22:47:21

He takes out the bins, seriously I hate that job.
He makes me laugh, he also frustrates me with his untidiness and lack of cupboard door shutting skills.
He is incredibly brainy so I admire him hugely in that respect
He is a great Dad to our DS
He still flirts with me

Sorry your having a shitty time

OpheliaPayneAgain Sat 10-Nov-12 22:52:59

He's my best friend grin my lover grin my absolute other half grin He keeps me on an even keel - I lead with my heart and he thinks things through. I'm headstong, he's my anchor. Not sure what he's getting out of all this though grin

Gelsa Sat 10-Nov-12 23:04:55

bubblenut, it makes me sad reading this thread too as I can say one or two things good about my dh but thats all. I keep thinking that there must be something better out there than this. I have said on many occasions that we should separate but I dont have anywhere to go. I to look at other couples and are jealous re their interactions, how they are so at ease with eachother.
I am too scared to leave. we have 2 small children. He is a brilliant dad but our relationship is not good. I dont think either of us respect eachother anymore. We have poor communication to.
I tried to go to relate but the lady cancelled and then things improved for a short time.

I think its so hard when things arent great in a relationship.
Sorry to splurt all this out on here.

Bubblenut do you have children?

Gelsa Sat 10-Nov-12 23:08:47

I think about people that I have met in the past that I liked but didnt think of any more as I am married but think of how nice they were to me.

My dh does not say anything nice about me, I definitely do not feel loved. I know the last option is marriage counselling but he will not go to it.

The only thing keeping us together is the children and I know that is not healthy. I dont know anyone else that feels this way about their DH.

topknob Sat 10-Nov-12 23:11:33

Could start an essay on how he doesn't but will watch and read for now..but he makes it a whole lot harder most of the time.

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