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mumsnet widower poison

(135 Posts)
jm8997 Thu 11-Oct-12 00:19:42

I have no one else to talk to about my feelings. My wife has family and friends, but she also appears to spend a lot of time on mumsnet. I feel suicidal, lonely and always blamed for the bad things that happen in life. Some of the threads on this website are so intensely vitriolic and polarised that I believe my wife is being destroyed from the beautiful kind loving person I married. Her addiction to mumsnet is really scaring me, yet I fear I cannot raise it with her as she would get angry with me. Help?

AnEerieAirOfHorror Thu 11-Oct-12 17:26:08

Whatever the reason the op was offencive to a poster and ignored the talk guild lines.

Also it is an internet chat site the op was directed to where he could get help but he chose not to.

The op has mh issues weather he is an abuser or not and needs professional help and he would never get that from mn as its not full of experts or mh workers.

I think the post 'reported' is only used on threads where it is knowen to be goading or trolling.

On the subject of trolling this week a men of 20 was taken to court for it and prosacuted.

usualsuspect3 Thu 11-Oct-12 17:24:15

In fact why is this thread still here?

usualsuspect3 Thu 11-Oct-12 17:21:46

Typical Trolling behaviour

Lueji Thu 11-Oct-12 17:14:37

My gut feeling is that this OP was not from the heart, but very manipulative.

My impression, in fact, was that this man is actually abusive to his wife.

If he wanted to let her know about his feelings, without being face to face, he could have written to her.
No need for such show on MN.

It really felt like my ex's dramatics.
Not a cry for help.

And I have been in both situations. With a person who committed suicide a few days later and let out hints that not all was well, but not enough clues.
And with twat ex who didn't kill himself but sounded like bad Shakespearean acting.

HoneyDragon Thu 11-Oct-12 17:08:36

Lots of comments can be detrimental because mos posts are not from a point of expertise but from subjectivity.

Saying I have reported your post can be taken in many ways.

From a purely subjective point of view I would expect someone new to the site who had written genuinely from the heart and desperate for help to want to know why it had been reported.

But thats just me.

Lueji Thu 11-Oct-12 17:08:00

Actually, it's just one way.
One talks the other listens.

Having a conversation on the other hand...

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 17:05:31

Listening's a two way street pp....

HoneyDragon Thu 11-Oct-12 17:03:37

I didn't say you were demanding anything. But the op did.

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 17:01:22

I'm not demanding anything, I'm making a point that those particular comments are unnecessary and explained why. You can't claim that it is a supportive community and then not listen when someone puts the point across that posting 'reported' could be detrimental and could prevent people from receiving support.

HoneyDragon Thu 11-Oct-12 16:52:14

This is relationships.
It should be supportive, but it doesn't HAVE to be. It just is.
Mumsnet is not counselling, nor is it a support group for suicidal people, people with relationship problems or anything else.
But it is a supportive community, but you can't turn up and demand or expect these things from it.

Mumsnet is basically an internet forum, and has plenty of disclaimers to say so. The ops behaviour was vile. People reacted to direct attacks against them. Which is understandable.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:50:06

... and it didn't achieve its desired effect... I didn't give a rats ass grin

missymoomoomee Thu 11-Oct-12 16:39:00

Pedantic Did you read the posts he wrote that were deleted. They were absolutely vile and directed at Little he wasn't asking for help he was being really really nasty

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:35:41

"What if what if"... goodness !! rarely do post get visibly reported unless another poster feels it timely to flag up publically that they feel (with good reason) that someone needs to wind their bloody neck in !!

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 16:28:29

But what about the other times when it's not obvious they are a 'manipulative, abusive whanger', but people still announce they are reporting as they think it might be a troll?

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:23:26

I do love you SGB grin

Look, when it's obvious that the poster in question is a manipulative, abusive whanger then it's fine for people to point this out and kick his MRA-loving head in.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:14:33

Thats not what I meant... but never mind..

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 16:04:47

This isn't the only time I've read 'reported' on a thread confused, it gets posted quite a lot, it certainly isn't an isolated case.

JustinBoobie Thu 11-Oct-12 16:03:07

well, lets just hope that we don't hear from the 'wife' soon then shall we?

MN can be ARSE sometimes.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 16:01:17

PP , he got the reaction he did for many reasons , not least of which was his hijack and abuse on my thread , and his choice to stalk relationship threads instead of going over to mental health as mnhq rapidly suggested... go look at the mental health boards , see how many people are asking for support , and clearly getting it with no hint of suspicion as to their motives or agenda... this was an isolated case (hopefully)

ScreamingManAndGoryOn Thu 11-Oct-12 15:58:30

Well, Pedantic Panda, you could always report the comments saying "I've reported" and ask for them to be deleted if you like.

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 15:55:51

You're always going to get trolls whether you announce you're reporting it or not, but what if someone really was at the end of their tether and thought about ending it, they came on and seen 'reported' everywhere and didn't ask for help incase they were accused of making it up? If it was a choice between giving someone advice and help when they needed it but risking a troll rubbing their hands together pleased they were convincing people, and unnecessarily posting 'reporting' on a thread running the risk of preventing someone from speaking out just so I can prove to a troll that I didn't believe them, I know what one I'd chose.

Littleblue Thu 11-Oct-12 15:49:46

People were also posting that we felt he was clearly disingenuous and manipulative... what's the alternative ??, humour trolls and get the honesty that is mumsnet tainted by whackjobs? thats not going to encourage anyone in need to bare their soul either... is it?

PedanticPanda Thu 11-Oct-12 15:46:28

things, but if posters were posting 'reported' all over your thread it might have discouraged others to post up valuable advice, or discourage other from starting their own thread about similar incase they receive the same treatment.

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight Thu 11-Oct-12 15:44:09

MNHQ is sensible about this stuff.. I know one of my threads got reported left right and centre and its still intact <phew after it took forever to type out>

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