Happy endings

[Makethepainstop]

Hi ladies,

Moving on from my earlier post about my husband leaving me and my babies i am trying to get my head around what our future may look like. Im struggling to come to terms with being a lone parent and the implications on my children if I do meet someone and become a blended family.

Can anyone out there please give some happy endings. I don't know one single blended family that worked for the kids. I came from one and had a terrible time and have been massively scarred by it
Xx

[eslteacher]

I met my DP three years ago. He already had a DS, who was 4 at the time. DS and his ex split up when DS was 1, so he doesn't really remember them being together.

Although DP and I are not married, I am in effect a stepmother to my DSS, who is now 7. Sure, it isn't easy all the time - it's hard sometimes dealing with the negative points of having a child around without getting the good stuff of unconditional love and affection.

But.

DP and his ex worked hard to put their problems as a couple behind them and remain on good terms with each other. It has really worked.

His ex met a new guy quite quickly, and has since had another child with him. He already had a daughter from his previous relationship. So they have three children at their place, albeit on a sort of rotating shift system!

DP and I, and his ex and her DP are all on excellent terms. We do stuff together like dinners, DSS's birthday, summer BBQs - about once every couple of months. All the various incarnations of kids/step-kids/half-sisters/half-cousins are running around, and I love it. I particularly love DP's ex+new partner's little girl, who is just adorable and we have a nice bond between us.

I'd say that while I do still struggle sometimes with specifically being a stepmother, and of course DSS sometimes wishes his parents were still together, overall I'd say we're all doing pretty well. I actually really like being part of a wider blended family and it CAN work and be a really rewarding and special experience. I feel quite proud of what we've all managed to achieve together.

Of course, the story of our blended family isn't over yet - DP and I haven't had kids of our own yet, so that will probably throw up a whole load of new issues if/when it happens. But only time will tell...

[eslteacher]

Oops, the third sentence should be "DP and his ex split...", not "DS and his ex split"...!

[Rockchick1984]

From the perspective of someone who was a child in a blended family, yes it can work. After my parents divorced, my mum remarried and he already had children (I'm an only child) and although it was tough at times, my step sister became one of my best friends and we are still close now as adults. His other children were much older so I've never had as much to do with them. I lived with my dad after my parents divorced, but am still very close to my mum and saw her all the time.