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Have you ever asked anyone out?

(100 Posts)
ParsleyTheLioness Mon 08-Oct-12 20:43:10

I am told that women do this nowadays! Don't know if I would get over the rejection if the answer was no. Am I just being sexist? Or just old...

ParsleyTheLioness Fri 12-Oct-12 09:07:57

Developments...I have not texted Man, but in a wine fuelled optimistic mood I joined a dating site the other night. A paid one, cos I think you get a better class of the Menz, that are more likely to be serious. Everyone (almost) wants a photo, but the site won't let me upload, or the computer is playing up, and the Not much helpline hasn't got back to me yet. A man has started chatting to me, and he looks and seems ok (not that you ever know) and I have sent him a photo via email. I may never hear from him again!

Offred Thu 11-Oct-12 22:41:41

winkgrin wigeon!

skyebluesapphire Thu 11-Oct-12 22:18:08

I just offered a bloke to come round for coffee and a chat any time. He is a man I have known for years, but never that closely. He is also going through a bad divorce.

I like him but am not ready for a relationship. But extending the hand of friendship is a good start to me :-)

It will either happen or it won't but at least I asked..

Flicktheswitch Thu 11-Oct-12 22:12:06

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wigeon Thu 11-Oct-12 22:03:16

Oh, Offred, you are such a killjoy although obviously that's very sensible advice and the OP should clearly listen to you rather than me

Offred Thu 11-Oct-12 22:01:15

Don't do it just because MN says so. If you aren't ready to do it on your own it could hit you in your self-esteem. Remember each of us that has/does do it has come to it in our own ways and time!

ParsleyTheLioness Thu 11-Oct-12 21:58:47

wigeon live birth thread but without kittens! Offred yes, you are right of course. Might as well sort the Menz from the Boyz earlier on, rather than later. I'm not trying to keep you dangling, you lovely peeps, honest!

SabrinaMulhollandJjones Thu 11-Oct-12 21:55:47

I've never asked anyone out but many moons ago I have asked men to dance. Never been refused either - I think they're so flattered that they don't have to do the asking.

<realises she sounds like she old enough to have lived in Jane Austin times>

I'm only in my 40's.

Offred Thu 11-Oct-12 21:52:20

The way I see it is either someone's a twunt or they aren't and you only find that out after a while anyway. Someone who thinks you are desperate because you asked them out is a twunt and no loss so dump. It isn't hurtful if you are rejected it simply means one person doesn't fancy going out with you, it says nothing about your worth as a person and could be for a variety of reasons. I think if you fancy going out with someone you have very little to lose from asking them out and much to gain.

TeaBrick Thu 11-Oct-12 21:52:03

Yes I once screwed up my courage and phoned to ask someone out. He told me to call back in a couple of days and he would think about it shock.
Needless to say I never did call back.

Wigeon Thu 11-Oct-12 21:52:01

Oooh, it's like a live birth thread!

You have to do it now, and then post his reply / replies!

ParsleyTheLioness Thu 11-Oct-12 21:50:57

Might just do it...

Offred Thu 11-Oct-12 21:46:43

I have never been asked out. I prefer to do the choosing. It hasn't always worked out well. Sometimes have done flirting and making moves and sometimes just completely coldly sent a message asking for a date. Have had abusive twunt ex and one straight up rejection (still my friend). Think rejection is character building! Nothing to be afraid of! Have also ended up with brilliant dh but that did involve a lot of chasing and convincing (not that he should like me but that I liked him).

FunnysInLaJardin Thu 11-Oct-12 21:46:01

yes, DH 24 years ago. It seemed to work

Wigeon Thu 11-Oct-12 21:44:42

Oh, I should have added that DH said "yes" to the asking out!!

Wigeon Thu 11-Oct-12 21:43:59

I asked my now-DH out - we were both 20 at the time. The romantic occasion was while he ate a samosa whilst sitting on a churchyard wall by a road. I'm pretty sure he would never have actually asked me out - he's just a bit rubbish like that. But he likes to say that we are even because he proposed!

Got married 4 years after getting together and still married 9 years later.

Ask him out!!

ParsleyTheLioness Thu 11-Oct-12 21:39:13

He is single Courage he made a point of telling me...

Couragedoesntroar Thu 11-Oct-12 21:29:53

Life is short. The way I see it is, if he's nice, the worst possible outcome is that you have given someone a delightful compliment. How often do any of us get given such a compliment? That is a rewarding thing to have offered. And just maybe he'll be single and interested...

I have male and female friends that I love dearly. We genders are not so different from each other in most ways.

ParsleyTheLioness Thu 11-Oct-12 20:35:53

Of course, he might say No! But logic says that The Menz have risked this for many years...

Tamoo Thu 11-Oct-12 10:55:54

I've only asked a guy out once in my entire life and he said no. I genuinely thought he'd spent weeks giving me the eye, so I dropped a letter into his work with my phone number etc. He rang and said he was already in a relationship. I couldn't hang up quick enough and would never do it again.

Good luck OP, by the way! wink

rach6122 Thu 11-Oct-12 10:50:59

yes, my now dh smile x

sashh Thu 11-Oct-12 09:41:39

I have asked out (in my younger days), and on one occasion I grabbed a guy's pony tail as he was trying to leave with his friends, asked him where he thought he was going and .......... well acording to the friend I was with, she was talking to me, turned to get her drink and by the time she turned back we were playing tonsil hocky.

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 10-Oct-12 22:04:03

These stories are really lovely though!

slug Wed 10-Oct-12 16:36:44

Yes. He has been Mr Slug for 11 years now.

Emandlu Wed 10-Oct-12 16:09:41

I went over and chatted up a guy in a nightclub that I liked once. We've been together 15 years now, married 13.

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