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Have you ever asked anyone out?

(100 Posts)
ParsleyTheLioness Mon 08-Oct-12 20:43:10

I am told that women do this nowadays! Don't know if I would get over the rejection if the answer was no. Am I just being sexist? Or just old...

Startailoforangeandgold Mon 08-Oct-12 23:28:18

No, but I offered a student I liked a lift home from a conference and invited myself to stay on his sofa.

The sofa was several feet deep in books etc.wink

We've been married 22years.

allchangeplease Mon 08-Oct-12 23:30:38

Panon - I'm thinking of asking by text or e-mail, so at least there's no looking unconfident or him being flustered. I'm not going to see mine for ages so I have that excuse too. Nothing wrong with that, d'you think?

PanonOlympus Mon 08-Oct-12 23:36:44

No, probably best if you think he could be a startled fawn type. Any 'being asked out' would be a nice boost! Be fairly casual in the wording, is the only thing I'd suggest. But do it.

allchangeplease Mon 08-Oct-12 23:36:46

hatesponge shock, he probably had issues though as still single. I wonder if he could be gay as he was trying to be friends with you before that.

Yes, I think very few would be so brutal. Especially to new people! I'm pretty sure my guy is attracted to me, but he may say no for all sorts of reasons, e.g. due to age gap or having a GF (even though he acts as if he's single).

allchangeplease Mon 08-Oct-12 23:38:41

thanks Panon, I feel more courage now grin.
All I wanted to do is suggest a coffee/chat, not spell out that I'm attracted (even though it'd be obvious) - is this casual enough?

GockandJuice Mon 08-Oct-12 23:40:01

No! Could NEVER do it. Luckily I've never had to, I've always had plenty of attention from men (what woman doesn't i suppose) but no way, far too scared of rejection! I do feel sorry for men that they are usually expected to be the ones to do it though! Must be scary!

akaemmafrost Mon 08-Oct-12 23:42:21

Yes I have. Never been turned down wink.

hatesponge Mon 08-Oct-12 23:44:37

He's not gay, he does have major issues though. His ideal girlfriend would look like a WAG/girl from TOWIE but with a brain and a professional career. He is 37 this year and I predict will still be single and still living in the boxroom in his parents house in 10 years time. Although at the rate I'm going, I'll still be single then too!

allchange I'm sure you'll get a better outcome than me, at absolute worst it will be a polite refusal, and more likely a yes smile

crackcrackcrak Mon 08-Oct-12 23:45:14

Yes many times. Shrug

allchangeplease Mon 08-Oct-12 23:46:33

emmafrost, do you have a very good gut instinct though, i.e. sure that they wd be interested? or are you so stunning that they fall at your feet grin?
I can't say that my instinct is that reliable.

PanonOlympus Mon 08-Oct-12 23:47:34

Chat? CHAT?? You mean..actual face-to-face stuff?? grin Yes, but if he has any sense whatsoever and fancies you he'll come up with an event (play, cinema etc..) to impress you.
Good luck!

allchangeplease Mon 08-Oct-12 23:49:32

thanks hatesponge, I hope so (a yes)..
Oh well, if he has sky high expectations then he's digging himself into a hole, or he could be scared of real relationships/closeness behind all this.

allchangeplease Mon 08-Oct-12 23:52:37

thanks Panon. If it's a success I will report. we did chat away last time, but this was at his work place, so I mean a private chat grin.

OhDearSpareHeadTwo Mon 08-Oct-12 23:55:09

I once asked a man out because I was so keen on him I was too impatient to wait for him to make the first move.

7 years, 1 house, 3 cars, 5 cats, 1 daughter and 1 marriage later I still can't get rid of him wink

akaemmafrost Mon 08-Oct-12 23:55:48

A bit of both really grin. No, it's instinct. I would never ask if I didn't know a bit of background and there was the remotest chance of being turned down. I can sense whether they are receptive.

OhDearSpareHeadTwo Mon 08-Oct-12 23:57:15

monster and anyone else who is still with them. Please tell me why they didn't ask you first!

He would have done but was playing it cool for a couple of days. I don't do "playing it cool" and was keen to get hold of him before any other female could beat me to it

OhDearSpareHeadTwo Mon 08-Oct-12 23:59:29

And said asking out happened like this

"Hi, it's SpareHeadTwo, we met sitting on that mental health prisoner last night. Do you fancy going out for a beer some time ?"

Several hours later I got something like

"Sorry, been at comedy club and just got your text. What are you doing tomorrow night, meet you at the Greenhouse at 8pm"

And that, as they say, was that

allchangeplease Tue 09-Oct-12 00:10:21

OhDear grin, yes why take your chances - and what a way to meet!

emmafrost, I knew you were a looker grin. I have no way to find out his background though (i.e. is there a GF), but I definitely sensed he was receptive. It's just ime feeling attraction doesn't always mean they want to act on it. Some just like an ego boost, distraction, not single, etc. But I'll give it a go.

BertieBotts Tue 09-Oct-12 00:46:16

I've asked loads of people out! They've nearly always said yes grin

BertieBotts Tue 09-Oct-12 00:47:21

I think I might have jumped DP also when we first started going out, even though he expressed an interest first, I at first said I wasn't interested. Then changed my mind.

ParsleyTheLioness Tue 09-Oct-12 07:57:00

Thanks all, that's interesting. So, by text is the way to go. If I decide to do it. I think he is interested, a bit. Met him through normal life stuff, don't work with him. Sometimes IME blokes give off push me/pull you mixed messages. But at least it would sort that out early on!
Pan how would you say no if you didn't fancy her? Need to know this!

Yes, he was incredulous that someone like me would want to date him.

We went out for a few months

In the end, I agreed with him and dumped.

Molehillmountain Tue 09-Oct-12 10:51:14

Yes. We've been married ten years this year smile

Molehillmountain Tue 09-Oct-12 10:53:33

Why didn't they ask? He says he fancied me but was much more laid back about that stuff. We debate every so often if he would have got round to it eventually. I don't really care!

ParsleyTheLioness Wed 10-Oct-12 16:04:50

Hmmmmm....two minds about this. I could ask him, but I don't want him to think I'm desperate, and mess me about. I have no judgement about whether this is likely to happen or not!

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