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Unfinished business

(10 Posts)
SoleSource Mon 08-Oct-12 12:08:11

Spotted my ex last night. He drove padt me with a woman in his car. Relationship ended 4 1/2 years ago.
Just sitting here in Sainsbury's car park crying. I do think of him often. I cared for him deeply, I still do. I slept with one guy after.him to try and get over my ex but obviously didn't work.

I wish we had made love not just sex. He asked me why I held back my feelings. I have always been this way with men. I am scared of showing love, real love I have inside. I am caring petson, too much sometimes.

I feel I still want.him and regret not declaring my lovefor him. He left me.

How can I rid myself of this feeling of unfinished business. I miss his company too. U have any idea of what I am saying?

CogitoErgoSometimes Mon 08-Oct-12 12:22:21

You have to make a really determined effort to look forward and not back from now on. The only way to finish something properly is to start something else properly. And the something else isn't 'sex' it's 'living'. One half-hearted sexual encounter is a duck-breaker, that's all. Shrug your shoulders, get yourself out there and make a life for yourself where you can be confident, independent and far too busy to think about old flames. It's a cliche but it's easier to love others when you feel secure and happy in yourself. When/if someone subsequently comes along and when/if you decide they are worthy enough to be allowed into your new life... then you might find it easier to show some love and get it back in return.

TakeMyEyesButNotTheGoat Mon 08-Oct-12 12:31:00

Oh bless you Sole.

Completely agree with Cogito.

Nothing much I can add after those wise words but my DM is in a similar situation, I know how hard it is for her.

SoleSource Mon 08-Oct-12 17:49:42

Thank you both. You are very right. Reading my OP again I feel I was being silly x

amillionyears Mon 08-Oct-12 18:59:23

Have you changed about showing your feelings,since the man left?

SoleSource Mon 08-Oct-12 19:45:39

Yes, a little amillionyears I have had some thetapy. But I could be much better.

amillionyears Mon 08-Oct-12 19:50:22

These sorts of things take time.

I was thinking that even if you talked to him again,the same problem for him would still be there.
He may or not be in a relationship with the woman.Probably is.

hoopieghirl Mon 08-Oct-12 19:51:48

Totally agree with cogito you need to pull on your big girl pants and get out there and live. Never easy, probably a little scary but definitley worth it.

SoleSource Mon 08-Oct-12 22:58:45

So,scary, life is sad

CogitoErgoSometimes Tue 09-Oct-12 07:32:40

It's only scary when you're doing nothing, taking no risks, having no fun, making no decisions, making no mistakes. Because that would be a life utterly wasted. The fantastic thing about life is that, however crappy it has been up to a few minutes ago, starting right now you can do whatever the hell you want. Seize opportunities, behave differently, make new choices. It's all there waiting for you to try it on. Don't let this old flame steal another moment of your new life.

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