Have had a horrid time since ds birth 18 months ago, got PTSD, treated with Cbt which worked wonders and things are on the up, so the thing now is, I don't feel empathy for dh. Through treatment and reading I think I am emotionally immature, and know that I lack empathy, but this gets really exaggerated when it comes to dh.Â
Last night I took ds out to the park and went back home much later than normal because dh was going to go out so we didn't need to be back for dinner together. Only to find dh half way up the road furious saying that he was about to call the police, grabbing the pram fom me and not looking or talking to me all the way home or when leaving. Turns out he was really worried because I hadn't texted and it was dark and not normal for us to be back at that time. I didn't do any of those things because I thought he'd be out by then.Â
This morning we had a massive row because I was trying to explain this and he just wanted some sympathy for having felt the way he did, sick with worry. I don't know why I can't just say sorry I understand. I felt really scared when he took the pram from me last night, the way he did it makes me want to cry, he said today that it was the way parents get angry with their children when they've been in danger, but I don't get it! It felt as if he was worried about ds and hated me for having made him feel like that.Â
I'm not sure about what I'm asking, he often says that dealing with me is like dealing with a teenager, but I'm not! How can I change the way I react so I'm  less like a teenager and more like an adult? Or are the ways we treat each other too ingrained after 12 years together/ 9 married?Â
On the other hand I have matured lots since having ds, while he is still the same  person. This doesn't make sense does it?
I would love to be able to just say yes I understand how you felt, I am sorry it happened. Instead of feeling angry and following every apology with but...
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Why can't I feel empathy? (long and convoluted)
20 replies
k2togm1 · 02/10/2012 16:13
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