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AIBU to my brother away from me son

(72 Posts)
BlueBirdsNest Mon 01-Oct-12 23:14:45

Don't your dare ever ever ever try and touch my child again.#

I have reported you to the the police before and I'll do it again if you come anyway me or my again

FannyFifer Tue 02-Oct-12 00:12:14

Your son is 19 or your brother?

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:13:30

know my son iwill open ......i'll scared because he sexually abused me..............which no one in family believed noe he is try to to it to hom

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:14:41

I know he his because he phoned me and your son has the best as ever ......................that is his uncle........my brother

achillea Tue 02-Oct-12 00:14:46

How old is your son?

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 00:17:02

Did your son meet him willingly?

What happened when he met him tonight?

Calm down OP its obviously terrifying you...take a few deep breaths.... Keep your sentences short ....tell us what's happened to yr boy...if it would help.

ThreadWatcher Tue 02-Oct-12 00:29:36

Bluebirds - sorry if it sounded like I was attacking you in my earlier post.

Its an awful situation for you to be in.
And particularly awful that your family didnt/dont believe you.

I hope you and your son get the real life support you need.
sad

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 00:30:32

Is this the son who has a homeless girlfriend who lives with you too?

Where are they now OP?

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:31:11

i don't think he did anything tonight to my son but he suuggested he could which worrys we because I know what he he capble off

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:31:50

me not we

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 00:32:06

Where is your son now and what does he think about what happened tonight?

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:33:42

well i hope there not at at my brothers worra

AdoraBell Tue 02-Oct-12 00:34:50

I think you should speak to the police and tell them what he said to you on the phone. The exact words if you can remember. Take a few deep slow breaths.

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:35:06

my son is here and is a it 'don't hate uncle gav, uncle gav is nice@

Pandemoniaa Tue 02-Oct-12 00:37:49

Sounds like an awful situation. But your son is an adult himself now, isn't he? Only I wonder just how much you can control where he goes. If you feel he's at risk from your brother then you need to warn him of this.

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 00:38:40

Ok so are you saying that now your son is an adult, he doesn't hate his uncle and wants contact with him?

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:50:27

i'm i bit of a doughnut .....i have encouraged him to have contact because I was brought up to believe blood was thicker than water

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 00:56:24

how do I say your uncle .............my brother sexual abubesed me ............well got me to wank him off when I was eight said he had a sore willy could i rub it better ......he was 23 at the time i was eight

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 00:58:02

Ok so despite the fact your brother sexually abused you and your son, you encouraged your son to have contact with your brother?

Your son had contact with your brother and now doesn't hate him?

But your brother has rang you tonight and suggested he could have sexually abused your son again?

Have I got that right?

BlueBirdsNest Tue 02-Oct-12 01:21:30

no

WorraLiberty Tue 02-Oct-12 01:23:14

Ok well this is like pulling teeth so I'm off to bed.

I'm sorry all this is going on in your life but maybe you should log back in tomorrow when you're a bit more coherent and someone will be along to help.

Night

AdoraBell Tue 02-Oct-12 01:35:56

Try to write it down on paper to make sense, then come back to us. I think you may need to tell your son what happened and that you guilt triped into going along with the familia who would not believe they had raised a pervert. That's why some people won't believe, it's too big a problem to deal with so they decide it's not happenning in their family

Make yourself a cup of tea and try to collect your thoughts, then write them down.

100mph Tue 02-Oct-12 01:44:13

You sound like you're kicking yourself for letting your son have any contact / for trusting the old 'blood is thicker than water' adage.

If you have any suspicion, given what you know about what he's capable of and his apparently threatening phone call - you need to consider speaking to the police - even if only informally for advice.

You've trusted so far - and it's got you feeling like you do now. Up to you if you decide to trust again - and how much to trust - whether it's ok to see him, whether it's ok to leave it to your demand to him, whether you want the police to warn him etc..

You don't want to be sitting here later feeling you still trusted too much - like you do now but worse.

I hope you make the right decision. Good luck - I have to go now but if you can say more - and a bit more clearly - I'm sure others will wish to help.

cory Tue 02-Oct-12 08:29:47

If it is your son who is 19, then he is an adult and quite frankly it is up to him to decide whether to keep away from his uncle or not. Incest between uncle and nephew is illegal in this country iirc (at least incest between uncle and niece is), but as both are adults they would equally be breaking the law. You are hardly going to be able to get the police to look on this incidence as a kind of child abuse merely because your brother abused you when you were a child. Unless your son has SN he will not be considered a vulnerable adult either- just an adult.

What you can do is a) report your brother to the police for his abuse of you b) explain to your son (if he will listen) why getting involved with this person is not a good idea.

But you cannot make decisions for your son; that's his job.

shewhowines Tue 02-Oct-12 08:43:17

Your son is an adult so can make his own choices but you can help him make those choices by giving him all the relevant information. You need to tell him what happened to you so that he can make an informed choice.

The best way of protecting your son is by talking to him and explaining why he needs to be careful.

Are there any other children your brother has contact with that could be in danger too? Perhaps you need to speak to someone (doctor?) and discuss the option of going to the police about your abuse to protect others, especially if you think it has already happened to others. If you go forward it may enable others to be brave and come forward too.

Horrible situation for you. Be brave.

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