My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Relationships

Found out that my fiance is 280k in debt - what happens should I still marry him?

343 replies

BornToShopForcedToWork · 28/09/2012 22:09

Last night my fiance confessed that he is 280k in debt. I am devastated and consider not to marry him anymore. Although we always kept our finances separate and I don't mind marrying him with the debt I am a bit worried that I will be liable for the debt as well. I am not English and therefore not sure how it's handled in the UK. I have assets that I would like to protect.

How shall I handle this situation?

OP posts:
sleepyhead · 28/09/2012 22:11

How??? Why??? And what's he planning to do about it?

Would be the questions I'd want answered, and until I got the answers the wedding would definitely be off.

DorsetKnob · 28/09/2012 22:11

Run like the wind.

Error404 · 28/09/2012 22:12

Put things on hold, investigate thoroughly and be careful.

And only just found out? How long have you been in a relationship with this guy that he's been keeping it a secret from you?

And, just out of interest, how does one get £280K in debt?

usualsuspect3 · 28/09/2012 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameKewcumber · 28/09/2012 22:13

what kind of a debt? If its a mortgage secured on a house of at least that value and he can afford the repayments then I don't see the problem. If he has unsecured debt at high interest rates with baillifs on his door step then as DorsetKnob says "Run like the wind"

MorrisZapp · 28/09/2012 22:13

I don't understand how he got as far as being your fiance without this coming out?

That's so, so much money. How did it happen? Ice the wedding plans for now.

shrimponastick · 28/09/2012 22:13

That's a lot of money.

If it were me I would not marry someone with so much debt - it's not just a couple of credit card debts is it.

You need to find out why?

MrsWolowitz · 28/09/2012 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Levantine · 28/09/2012 22:14

No way would I marry him. Have you any idea where the debt comes from?

MrsWolowitz · 28/09/2012 22:14

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

scarlettsmummy2 · 28/09/2012 22:15

Can he declare himself bankrupt before you marry him?

Autumnalis · 28/09/2012 22:16

That's quite some sum. He's either stupid or dishonest.

EdgarAllanPond · 28/09/2012 22:16

no. Don't marry him.

why didn't he tell you sooner?

MrsjREwing · 28/09/2012 22:16

If it is mortgage on a house worth more than the debt, then that should be affordable for him.

mmira · 28/09/2012 22:16

I would run as fast as I can. I am so sorry but this is how I really feel.

Northernlurker · 28/09/2012 22:17

More infom needed - WHERE did the debt come from, is he ever likely to be able to pay it off, how long have you known him without him telling you about this.........

sookiesookie · 28/09/2012 22:17

Do not marry him. Do not tie yourself to this person.

How has he got so much debt?

Has he hid it from you or just not told you? Do you live together? how long have you been together?

NellyJob · 28/09/2012 22:17

definitely do not marry him unless he has declared himself bankrupt beforehand as scarlettsmummy said, and even then take legal advice.

BornToShopForcedToWork · 28/09/2012 22:17

He said a business deal went wrong. However I know about his lavish spending, an expensive watch here, renting a flat in Mayfair, buying only bespoke suits an so on and therefore don't believe his story. He is ashamed and didn't want me to know. He is trying to live the same lifestyle he had while he still lived with his parents. He went to a private school where children from very wealthy parents went to and although his family is well off he always felt insecure. I don't care about whether he has money or not. I am just worried that I will be liable for the debt as well once we are married. I don't earn much at the moment (I'm a nanny and still studying) but I own and co-own properties and money from an inheritance.

OP posts:
tiredofwaitingforitalltochange · 28/09/2012 22:18

In answer to your question: fuck no!

Error404 · 28/09/2012 22:18

And, so he's seriously in debt (I have to say I don't consider a mortgate counts as debt so presume this isn;t what you're talking about), what's your finiacial position? What might you be bringing to the financial table?

Offred · 28/09/2012 22:18

Don't tie yourself financially to someone so bad with money.

Don’t want to miss threads like this?

Weekly

Sign up to our weekly round up and get all the best threads sent straight to your inbox!

Log in to update your newsletter preferences.

You've subscribed!

Kinora · 28/09/2012 22:18

My god, how can someone you intend on marrying have kept this from you?

Cancel the wedding.

I hope you haven't got any joint assets or bank accounts.

MrsjREwing · 28/09/2012 22:19

Run.

BornToShopForcedToWork · 28/09/2012 22:19

He never had to lie to me about money. We kept our finances separate from Day One and I don't know how much is in his bank account and he doesn't know about my finances either.

OP posts:
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.