Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide, which can point you to expert advice and support.

Sofas and Slankets V Irregular choice shoes and Snogging - Dating Thread 23

(1000 Posts)
watchoutforthatsnail Fri 28-Sep-12 10:14:21

smile

watchoutforthatsnail Fri 28-Sep-12 10:30:47

snape - yes, i think my joy at him not finding stuff is telling. First time he lost something i helped him hunt for hours and hours, then was really pleased when he found it.However, he loses stuff on a daily basis, - left his guitar on a train yesterday and a man ran along the platform after him shouting ' guitar' at him.Its not that hes losing stuff, its that hes crap at life. And its that which annoys me.

snapespeare Fri 28-Sep-12 10:43:54

oh bin him off. you are going to end up hating him if you carry on in a relationship with him.

<waves at thread> <place marks>

I'm going to a friends birthday drinks tonight - this is the friend i got together with my ex flatmate who is also friends with PM. PM wont go as it's in an area he doesnt like. hmm so i am trialling my lesbian-pulling frock. grin

watchoutforthatsnail Fri 28-Sep-12 10:49:04

red shoes?

yeah, i know. bad timing with birthday and planned thing thats been paid for in two weeks,will have to do it after then.

I was meant to be seeing him this evening, but cancelled, 3 times a week is too much. says it all really, doesnt it.

mercury7 Fri 28-Sep-12 11:02:27

funny how feeling can change about someone...seems impossible to predict how things will pan out!

I so often read things completely wrong when it comes to my own relationships, my feelings fluctuate like nobodies business and i always jump to the wrong conclusion

OhWesternWind Fri 28-Sep-12 12:30:43

Watch - he's got to go, hasn't he? The losing stuff and helplessness would drive me up the wall. Can't be doing with people with no gumption, male or female and even quantities of underwear and devotion wouldn't make up for it . . .

So, I am feeling on a bit of a high after the date last night but think I talked a bit much blush. Two glasses of wine and I'm away . . . He is very up for seeing me again, was talking about Date Number Three as soon as we came out of the restaurant so I can't have been too awful.

I need help with a plan for getting a bit more action with him but without necessarily going to bed with him although I could very possibly be tempted. My house is out of the question due to the presence of children, babysitters and quantities of rubble and builders' gear. I have already said we will meet up his way next time, not sure there is a lot there as it's a small village so . . . don't want to go straight to his house but might want to end up there later on for a while. The other problem is having time, I am relying on babysitters so I can't really stay out at all late, it's 10.30 or 11 pm curfew in the week (and he has his children most weekends when I could get a later pass!) which does make things really difficult and I don't want to be having one eye on the clock, wouldn't add to the atmosphere. How the bloody hell do people manage to conduct a relationship when they have children?

Yogagirlscaredofpeas Fri 28-Sep-12 12:31:10

Hi. (waves)

Snape - have fun. Don't break any hearts!

Watch - a puppy is not just for fucking Christmas. Bin. wink

Following on from the last thread, was thinking about how amazing it is when you have someone who "gets" you and then just happened to read this in the book I'm reading:

"As I go to endless rounds of parties and bar nights, perfumed and sprayed and hopeful, rotating myself around the room like some dubious dessert. I go on dates with men who are nice and good-looking and smart - perfect-on-paper men who make me feel like I'm in a foreign land, trying to explain myself, trying to make myself known. Because isn't that the point fo eery relationship: to be known by someone else, to be understood? He gets me. She gets me. Isn't that the simple magic phrase?"

snapespeare Fri 28-Sep-12 12:42:02

oh western you end up taking a duvet day with the express intention of having sex not that i would know about such things it's very difficult, isnt it.

I hadn't thought as far ahead to shoes watch it's cold today. I am contemplating jeans and boots at the moment. smile

OhWesternWind Fri 28-Sep-12 12:46:26

Snape they would get a bit suspicious two or three duvet days a week grin grin

snapespeare Fri 28-Sep-12 12:48:36

this is why I very, very infrequently 'get' any! wink

MadameOvary Fri 28-Sep-12 12:56:16

Ah, found you smile
This thread is aaaalll about The Notebook for me grin

DoingItForMyself Fri 28-Sep-12 13:01:31

Afternoon all.

"Officially the best first date ever" last night! His words as well as mine grin

Started with drinks and tapas, got on really well, chatted about everything and anything, he made me laugh loads and wasn't shocked by my slightly risque sense of humour which was a relief!

We decided to go for a drink afterwards and were both driving so went for coke, but then he suggested that even though it was a 'school night' we are both adults and that if we wanted a drink we could always leave our cars there and get a taxi home, and that he would pay for us to get one each if I wanted a drink, but he didn't want me to think he was trying to get me drunk or take advantage.

We then decided that it would be a laugh to get absolutely hammered at the vodka bar, spent 4 hours snogging in a dark corner, he had his wallet nicked while we were <ahem> distracted and then he came home with me and spent the night - no actual sex but some other very enjoyable stuff. We said it would be good to wait til next time so we had something to look forward to! Left about 10am after some more fun and games this morning and neither of us could stop smiling!

We're meeting again on Monday (he said he couldn't wait til Tuesday!) and he's already sent me a message saying thanks for a lovely night, it was officially the best first date ever!

Yay!

snapespeare Fri 28-Sep-12 13:10:09

doingit yay!! I love that post-first-date feeling where you feel all sexy and desirable and 'got'. smile brilliant news, I'm very pleased for you. smile shocked that his wallet was nicked though!

I shall try to be not quite-so-intrusive with the notebook on this thread - there is still quite a long time to go, we'll all get very bored. smile

EHoneybadger Fri 28-Sep-12 13:32:07

Catching up. Soooo much happens soooo quickly on here!

My potted history; Age 43. Two kids age 20 and 22. Separated just over a year and nearly divorced. Recently had my heart broken due to a long distance thing with an initially keen but probably somewhat emotionally unavailable type. Three weeks into dating somebody very lovely who ticks most of my boxes and seems keen and is treating me very well but now I am scared I am going to hurt him (I think this may be why I am attracted to emotionally unavailable types as getting hurt seems easier than hurting somebody else). I am giving it a chance though. smile

I also have a girl crush on Snape thanks to this thread but think there may be a bit of a queue in front of me already!

Snape I was at a wedding yesterday and heard this quote and thought of you and PM (how weird is it that I was thinking of people I don't even know? The internet is a strange beast). I thought it was beautiful and it made me tearful. You mentioned you were looking for inspiration but I don't know if it is your thing. It is from Captain Corelli:

"When you fall in love, it is a temporary madness. It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides. And when it subsides you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part. Because this is what love is. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion. That is just being in love which any of us can convince ourselves we are. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossom had fallen from our branches we found that we were one tree and not two."

I think you and PM have managed the entwined roots thing before the in love thing. Hopefully you will get that too very soon!! smile

EHoneybadger Fri 28-Sep-12 13:38:03

Oh and Watch I am sorry to poke my nose in but I think you should end things with Mr L if you know you don't want him properly.

I had to finish the thing with Mr Unavailable even though it was him whose heart was obviously not in it properly. It was unbelievably painful and hard to do and had he had the balls to be honest with himself and me and not keep me dangling I think we could have come through it and kept the friendship which I think he will miss as much as I do. As it was I had to cut him off completely for my own peace of mind. It is horrid being involved with somebody who doesn't want you as much as you want them and men have feelings too. He needs to be free to find somebody who can want him back.

snapespeare Fri 28-Sep-12 13:45:57

sniff thank you EHoney I remember sending him that quote years ago. i might chop it a bit to be not quite so 'swoony' but i can definately draw a tree! smile

i like this - “We are all a little weird and life's a little weird, and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.”

and this... “If I never met you, I wouldn't like you. If I didn't like you, I wouldn't love you. If I didn't love you, I wouldn't miss you. But I did, I do, and I will.”

theers tons of stuff out there - it's finding the right ones...

OhWesternWind Fri 28-Sep-12 14:03:47

Bit of work texting today, which I do like, helps the day pass quicker. Got another date set up for Tuesday yay!! (Oh I do think I like this guy but I'm not going to admit it in case it all goes wrong)

He's asking if I like the theatre - I think this is a massively good sign - theatre = booking tickets = not just a three date stand!!

NicholasTeakozy Fri 28-Sep-12 15:20:26

The first one is awesome Snape. Don't worry, you can't bore us with the notebook. grin

Congrats on the best first date ever DoingIt. Sounds great.

All the best for Tuesday Western.

hatesponge Fri 28-Sep-12 17:27:40

I am having the worst day sad Work is appallingly bad (likely to be here another 2 hours - having spent half this afternoon trying and failing to resolve a problem which will lead to a major complaint), DS1 is in trouble at school and our laptop has a possibly fatal virus. Oh, and I'm a failure who can't get a 2nd date if my life depended on it.

Sorry for sharing my misery with you all...as you were, back to happy news, etc.

hatesponge Fri 28-Sep-12 17:51:42

I also appear to be missing something fairly important, which I hope turns up shortly, because the consequences of it not doing so are a bit disastrous tbh.

Worley Fri 28-Sep-12 18:04:45

I can't keep up with the threads here.. they nice so fast..
I kind of had date 4 this morning.. after the pub last week.. went to his or coffee.. have met him down the beach for walk and coffee while ds2 at a club and this minting stopped off at his for 10mins before work for a sneaky snog as he called it.. his idea! it would never have occurred to me to stop off on the way to work to say hello. but so far so good. but it's about now when I decided I really like someone and they decide they do t really like me. so we'll see.. next seeing him weds eve unless I can get a baby sitter before then. his parents babysitter for him anytime so just relying on me sad

Worley Fri 28-Sep-12 18:05:29

I meant move... but they are nice too lol

have you found it sponge?

DoingItForMyself Fri 28-Sep-12 18:51:48

Oo-er Sponge, sounds serious. Once you stop worrying about it turning up it probably will. I lost my car keys last week, hunted high and low, went to bed and woke up 'knowing' that I would find them - and I did. Probably not the same thing at all, but you know what I mean!

EHoney my friend had the Captain Corelli quote at her wedding too, very lovely. Its so hard when you have to call it off with someone because you like them more than they like you isn't it. Have had a couple of incidents like that recently (including my marriage!)

Its so complicated trying to find time to date working around two sets of children/access isn't it. I'm surprised how many men have 50/50 custody, which is lovely, but a little inconvenient when you want to meet up with them!

Yogagirlscaredofpeas Fri 28-Sep-12 19:30:15

sponge I hope you find whatever you lost. I lost a very expensive bracelet last week which I am very sad about and can't afford the £100 excess on my insurance to replace it. But at least no consequences to anyone but myself.

NicholasTeakozy Fri 28-Sep-12 20:32:46

Sponge, do you have a backup/rescue disk? If so, format the drive and run the disk to reinstall your OS.

If not, whilst at another pc download something like Sophos bootable virus checker to usb and start your laptop in safe mode and run the av before booting up the system. I'll have a look for some stuff and send a pm.

This thread is not accepting new messages.